


In My Mind Only

by CurrentlyLost



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Eventual Smut, F/M, M/M, a couple of mentions of self harm and self loathing, i'll put a warning in the notes before the chapter, in fact my characters are very frustrating, like i said, mine isn't any better, my chemical romance - Freeform, sadly mentions of past character death, student!Frank, student!ray, student/teacher fic, teacher!gerard, there's a lot of them, they're frustrating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-29
Updated: 2016-11-11
Packaged: 2018-05-30 00:20:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 40
Words: 71,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6400024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CurrentlyLost/pseuds/CurrentlyLost
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Well, then what is it?” I took a deep breath. It was now or many, many years from now. I know nothing can become of us. We’re going in completely different directions and he’s so determined to get where he’s going.</p><p>“I love you,” I said.</p><p>“I know,” He answered. I gave a small laugh. Yeah, that sounds about right.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. My Student

Ray Toro. The only student to have such a negative effect on me, and by negative I mean the inappropriate kind for a teacher, such as myself, to have. It all began when I was grading papers a few months back, and I noticed that one student hadn't turned one in. That was Ray. That was also the same day Frank, another student, made himself known in a big way.

"Excuse me, Mr. Toro, I have to ask why it is you haven't turned in your assignment?" I asked calmly. I was slightly upset, because I enjoy reading everything my students write. I enjoy their thoughts on every topic we discuss in class. This time, it was their opinion on the famous play Romeo and Juliet. Which, in my opinion, is way too overrated, but it's in the curriculum so I have to teach it. So far, every student had done the whole "Romeo and Juliet did nothing wrong. It was the parents. It was romantic that they died for each other" crap.

"I'm sorry, sir. I'm trying to figure out how I feel about it," he excused. 'He's really cute,' I thought without thinking. I took a step back, a bit surprised by my sudden thought.

"A-ah, okay. I'll give you until the end of the week." I turned on my heel and walked back to my desk. Once seated, I looked back at Ray and watched as he talked with his friends. He was listed in that "popular" category of the high school chain. I watched as he slightly threw his head back in laughter. My eyes trailed down to his throat, watching as his Adam's apple moved up and down in tune with his laughter. I shook my head, and feeling my cheeks heat up, I looked back to the ungraded papers I had left. I got to work, quickly forgetting about my sudden attraction to my student.

"Excuse me, sir!" I heard. I raised my head and saw my other student Frank Iero.

"Yes?" I asked, smiling.

"I need to use the latrine," he said bluntly. Ah, that's right. He's in that small JROTC (Junior Reserve Officer Training Corps) program; one of the few who had the guts to take it. I heard it was a difficult class and a lot of people dropped it. Seems Frank had adapted to their Army language.

"Go ahead," I say and he wastes no time in walking out the door. Frank was the only student who shared my thoughts on Romeo and Juliet. He went with the claim, and I quote, "This play is overrated. Big time. Who in their right mind would die for someone else due to love. I say you live for the people you love. All the people who died in this play, didn't really need to. Just like Julius Caesar didn't need to die in Shakespeare's other play."

He was an interesting kid, indeed. He took everything very seriously, as far as I could tell. I guess they called him by his last name for a reason. He always seemed to be scowling. Unconsciously, my eyes seemed to travel to Ray once again. Finally, the bell rang. I hadn't realized we were on early release schedule. My first period ran for the door and a few minutes later, my second period trailed in. It didn't hit me that Frank had left his things in my classroom until he came in, face straight as always, only he was bruised and his hair and the collar of his shirt were soaking wet. Weird. It wasn't raining outside, was it? I heard there was going to be rain, but it wasn't raining right now. He just grabbed his things and walked out of the room, without so much as an glance at anyone. His face was bruised, making it easy to tell he was fighting.

"Excuse me, class, I'll be right back. Just start up on your make-up work," I explained as I left the class. I saw Frank sitting outside on the curb near the secluded double-doors. Not many teacher or faculty came through this way unless they needed me. This wing only consisted with my classes. It was very small and I was the only teacher who knew kids came out here every now and then. So far, I'd only seen Frank out here the most. I opened the doors and he flinched as quickly turned and shielded himself.

"Hey, are you okay?" I asked, concerned. I knelt down beside him and he shrugged.

"Same as usual, I guess," he answered. I sighed softly and sat down next to him.

"Did someone hurt you?" I looked over at the high, unkempt grass.

"What makes you say that?" He questioned.

"I'm not blind, you know. I can see your face."

"When or when you're not looking at Ray like he's candy?" He said defensively. I gaped at him.

"Wh-what are you talking about?" I asked hesitantly. He turned away from me and then suddenly got up.

"Nothing. Sorry if I caused a scene, sir." Then he left, leaving me in shock. What am I going to do? He noticed my...infatuation with a student.

I'll just finish the school day and hope the cops don't show up in my class or at my home. I'll have to stay calm. Yes, it was then that I realized the trouble was going to start and my life wasn't going to be the same no matter which angle you looked at it. I deemed myself a pervert. But, really, I didn't just want his body. I also wanted his affection. And I'll be damned if I went down without receiving that affection. I shook my head in disappointment. Where the hell was my mind headed? I needed to get away from all of this. But mainly him. The affect he had on me in only a class period is too surreal. I needed out. And so I got one. I took a vacation around that time, listing it as a personal problem issue. I just wasn't expecting it to get worse. Thankfully, I had a supporter and it was nice to know.


	2. The Start of a Vacation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeez, I'm reading over these chapters and they're so terrible. Oh my, Goth ;-;

"I'm sorry to hear about your grandmother, Mr. Way. Please, take as much time as you need." Wow. The principle was nicer than I remembered. I nodded.

"Thank you, sir. Very much." I walked out of the office and was heading towards the door when I realized that I forgot to grade the rest of the journals. I only had one more class of pretty much 6 students, so I suppose I'll finish them quickly. As I made my way towards my classroom, I noticed Frank walking into the restroom. I was thinking about confronting him, but decided against, because that would make it seem as if I were more of a pervert than I already am. I sat down at my desk after grabbing the journals and began to read them one my one.  
 _"Mr. Way, I believe that Romeo and Juliet were meant to be together!"_ I wanted to roll my eyes. Of course they were! It was basically said throughout the entire play.

_"That's a great observation!"_ I wrote back. This is what I loved most about my class. Reading the things they trust me with and seeing them excited about reading what I wrote back. I continued with my reading and answering until I heard the door open.

"Sir?" I raised my head up and saw Frank. I froze. I took a deep breath and straightened my back.

"Yes, Mr. Iero?" He walked right up to my desk. I noticed there were fresher bruises on his face. The ones from earlier were darker. What is happening to him?

"Listen, I'm sorry about what I said earlier today. I understand, um, well, not exactly understand how you're feeling. But, um, I want to help you, I guess," he rambled.

_Help?_

"Help?" I repeated aloud. Help me what exactly? What is he saying?

"Well, if you thought no one could notice you staring at Ray, then you're horribly mistaken."

"But I wasn't-"

"Sir, don't try it. I saw. I _watched_. I concluded," he said. I clenched my jaw without realizing. I stood up from my chair, walked right over to the door and locked it.

"Listen, I don't care what you thought you saw, you shouldn't be watching me if I'm not giving a lesson," I raised my voice.

"You were teaching a lesson. Don't get caught. Did you not hear what I'd said earlier? I. Want. To. Help. You," he said slowly as if I were stupid. His scowl didn't help his situation either. I refused to say anything more. I sighed, shaking my head.

"Shut up," I said. I sat back down in my chair and angrily opened the next journal, yet.. I couldn't even focus on the reading with him towering over me.

"Are you going to stay there staring at me or are you going to get the hell out?" I asked harshly. He chuckled. Chuckled?! I raised my head up to meet his eyes, glaring at him. He had the same look on his face. As if he never chuckled. Had he?

"All right. Here. This is my number. While you're on vacation, alone with your thoughts, go ahead and call me and we'll arrange a meeting. I'll help you get the guy, in this case." I never said a word as he turned and made his way towards the door. "Oh," he paused, " that girl, she wrote about how Romeo killed Juliet. How he was a bastard like all other men. You know how girls are. Annoying, right?" He said and then just left.

"You're just as annoying, asshole," I mumbled. I read the journal entry.

_"This Romeo obviously just killed her because he thought he was being romantic. Men, they are nothing but bastards. All trouble!"_ I sighed. He was right. He never even looked at the journal. Just me. How did he know?

I wrote back, _"Lindsey, all people in the world are good. There are just some people who aren't good to others. Give people a chance. Don't be so quick to judge, okay? :)"_

I looked at the paper Frank left. I grabbed it and crumbled it up. I grimaced as I shoved it into my coat pocket. After putting the journals back in their spots, I turned off the classroom lights and left. Getting into my car, I sat in silence for a while before starting the car. I drove off, looking at the school in the rear-view mirror. God, this is going to be a long vacation. I could still feel myself crumbling Frank's number in my hand. It was hurting. Why would he want to help me? More than that, though, why hadn't I questioned him on his new fresh bruises? Was he being bullied? No, that couldn't be it, could it? The kids in JROTC were looked up to, especially the only girl who was in there. She was practically a Goddess in that place. Frank, I heard, was the one who was the highest rank at Captain in five months. Their company commander, I could also say. But why would he take a high interest in my interest? None of this is making sense. There's a piece of information missing. All right. I'll call him and make a deal. He can help me, since he seems so keen on doing so, _if_ he answers all my questions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading this update. They get better, I like to think <3 Comment, subscribe, maybe? :D It'd be pretty kickass of you.
> 
> -Also, I realize that, in order to be a company commander, your rank has to be a Lieutenant Colonel, but just go with me for now..


	3. Unbearable

Three days into my two week leave, I was dying. My mind kept falling back to Ray's laugh. The way his eyes sparkled and his short hair slightly flipped back, it caused my breathing to hitch in my throat. I laid on my couch, doing absolutely nothing, only thinking.  
 _'That little shit was right_ ,' I thought. The planned that I'd thought of was long since forgotten, seeing as it meant me admitting that I wanted his help in my own love life. The thought of _feeling_ him smile rather than _seeing_ it made me shiver. But I didn't even know how to approach Ray, let alone make him fall in love with me.

"Screw it," I said as I reached for the crumbled piece of paper I'd been staring at since I got it. I picked up my cell and dialed the number. Before I pressed "call," I looked at the time. Frank should be at lunch. I called and it rang twice before he answered.

"Hello?" He answered. His voice sounded softer over the phone.

"It's Way," I said hesitantly.

"Yeah, I know. I just wanted you to say it," he answered nonchalantly. I clicked my tongue.

"I'm going to pick you up after school and we'll talk back at my place," I said coldly.

"Taking a student back to your house? Uh-oh," he teased. I could feel him smirking and I groaned.

"Please, you aren't the student I want to bring back here."

"You aren't the teacher I want to go back with," he retorted.

"Smartass," I commented.

"As are you. So after school? Got it. Just call or text me when you're here."

"Actually, I'll pick you up a few blocks away from the school, so it doesn't look too bad."

He chuckled. "It already looks bad. All right. A few blocks. Okay." Then he hung up. How rude! He didn't even say bye properly! I huffed out and began cleaning up my house.  
When it was closer to 3:45, I took a shower and got dressed. I pulled out my phone and sent him a text: "I'm on my way." I waited five minutes for an answer, but never got one. I rolled my eyes and took off. I was there driving through the blocks until I saw him standing under a tree. He had more of a contented look on his face and I smiled. Maybe it was a good day for him. I pulled up to the side of the curb and rolled down my window.

"Get in," I said.

"Not even going to offer me candy first?" he teased. I laughed.

"Just get the hell in, kid," I laughed. He walked over to the passengers side and slid inside my car. He quickly looked around in the car, then looked at me.

"Teacher's budget, huh?" I stared at him.

"You're such an asshole," I muttered. He chuckled again, but I missed it.

"You can thank my father. So we're going back to your place?" He asked. I nodded as I took off in the direction of my house.

"I bet you hurried to clean it," he asked, yet it sounded like a statement.

"Who cares?" I snapped.

"So you did? Holy shit, I was just joking," he laughed. I quickly turned to look at him, but he still had the same look on his face.

"I missed it," I said lowly.

"Speak louder."

"Nothing," I said. For God knows how long, I've been curious about his smile. What does it look like? I glanced over at him as we came to a stop sign. He was in his JROTC Army Class B uniform. He looked nice, actually. His chest was filled with many medals and ribbons, showing off his hard work and dedication. I heard from other cadets that he was very strict, yet he also made sure that every single cadet got at least two to three ribbons a year. He was just as tough on the girl, whose name I forget, as he was on the boys.

"How long are you going to stare, sir? The car behind us is honking," he said with a yawn. I snapped back to reality and quickly pulled away from the stop sign.

"I was just admiring your medals. You've worked hard, haven't you?" I asked, trying to kill time. I was also very curious. I wanted to know what each one was and what he did to get them.

"Not only me. But also my company. I will not take full credit for my decorations, because if not for them, I'd be just another cadet in the battalion. They are my family. Cole, Josh, Mikey, Chris, Tyler, Austin, Bevon, Morgan, Seth, Simon, Diego, Mike, Dominic, Santiago, Bryan, Byron, Zach, and Jealousy. I love them all," he said without hesitation.

"How did you become their company commander?" I asked. We came to a stop to my house.

"I started off as just a no-ranked cadet, never really participating until some things happened and I got my act together. I started pitching ideas and following through, I started participating more. I began to encourage every person in my company as the cadet challenge came up. 1st Sergeant and Sergeant Major noticed my efforts and eventually, I was raised up higher in ranks. Now, as the new year started, I became their company commander," he explained as we walked to my front door. I nodded in understanding as I pulled out my key. We walked inside and I closed the door behind him, locking it.

"Where's the puppy, sir?" He asked. I glared at him.

"Don't be that guy, Frank," I mumbled. "So how are you planning to help me?" I asked. My curiosity was getting the best of me.

"Well, I was thinking that you have to break off his relationship first before this goes anywhere," he started.

"Whoa, whoa. Hold on," I interrupted. He gave me a confused look.

"What?" He asked.

"He's dating someone?" I questioned back. He sighed as if it should be obvious.

"Yes, sir. He's dating my cadet, Jealousy. Now, if you really want to have a shot with him, you're going to have to make them split and then come in as his comfort whenever he becomes vulnerable," he explained.

"No, Frank. I don't want to be that guy. I can wait until they split on their own, if they do."

"Sir, we're seniors. You have about five months to make him fall in love with you. You've got to work fast." He was making sense. If I were really as serious about him as I thought I was then I really was going to have to try my best.

"How... How can I break them up? _If_ I decided to go for it?" I asked. He sat on the couch, stiffly. He sighed and then stood up again.

"Is it all right if I go and change into regular clothes?" He asked as he picked up his bag and walked into a different room. Which ended up being mine.

"That door doesn't close!" I called out.

"I don't care!" He called back and then I heard the shuffling of clothes. I sighed and stood up, heading into the kitchen. I want coffee, so I shall make coffee.

"Hey, you want coffee or what?" I asked him.

"Sure. However you make it is fine!" He answered.

"Well, I wasn't going to make it a specific way just for you."

"I wasn't expecting you to." I rolled my eyes and leaned against the counter as I watched the coffee slowly drip into the pot. I turned my head towards the end of the room, as could see Frank shirtless with his back toward me. His back looked slightly muscular, but he had these strange marks on his back. They look like the equivalent of... scratch marks? I'm not entirely sure. I looked away before he could catch me looking.

What's this kid's story, because it seems so goddamn interesting?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, one day I'll go back and revise how crappy this is, but, hey, it's my very first MCR Frerard fanfic, so I was proud of myself for even going for it <3 There's also a bunch of dialogue in this first few chapters before it starts getting pretty, well, dark.


	4. The Planning of a Plan

Frank came out wearing an over sized t-shirt and baggy sweatpants. He looked..small and it was hilarious. I laughed.

"What's funny?" He asked as he sat across from me at the kitchen table. I shook my head.

"Nothing important," I responded. He shrugged his shoulders.

"Whatever. So let's talk. You breaking them up," he began. I cringed.

"I get that I only have a few months with you guys, but do I really have to force them apart?" I asked as I took a sip of my coffee.

"That's the only way. Get them to start fighting and break up their relationship." He took a huge gulp if him coffee, signing in satisfaction when he put his cup down. "This coffee is very good. Thank you," he said.

Sometimes I forgot how much of a respectful kid he could be. He's been teasing me until I'm angry at him ever since we talked.

"How has class been without me?" I asked.

"The same really. Only, the kids haven't really been doing work," he responded. I sighed. I only left those kids an essay.

"Have you completed your essay?" I took another sip.

"I finished it on the first day," he said.  
"The entire two pages?"

"My favorite memory could only be a page. Is that okay, or would you like me to lie?" He asked. I took another sip. This was getting awkward. He was saying things that I couldn't asked about, because he wouldn't even tell me.

"Why would you even have to lie?"

"Because my favorite memory only took up one page. Okay, then. I'll just lie. But I'll make it so unrealistic that you'll throw up," he explained. I laughed nervously. It was so awkward, I wanted to leave the room.

"I need to pee," I said as I got up.

"'Kay."

I walked away and washed my face instead of using the bathroom. I dried my face and took a few deep breaths. How am I supposed to be okay with separating two people? I sighed and walked back out into the living room. He switched spots so he was now sitting on the love seat. I sat across from him on my recliner. He looked deep in thought as I stared at him.

"So," I started.

"Hm?" He asked, not even looking at me.

"Why do you seem so intent on separating them?" I asked. I knew he was going to lie.

"He's been hurting Jealousy, emotionally, of course. I want that to stop. Even if I have to sacrifice what she thinks is happiness and, of course, you as well. No offense," he said, once again, with no hesitation.

"So, basically, you're just using me?" I asked. We both knew the answer.

"He's hurting my family. You do whatever you can to protect them," he asked.

"Is Jealously the only reason you want them to split?" I asked. He seemed to hesitate before nodding. I sighed and slid my hand down my face.

"You are a fucking kid, aren't you?" He shrugged his shoulders.

"You protect your friends so well, I can only imagine how protective of your family you are," I said. He chuckled and I missed it once again.  
"You have no idea," he responded.

"You're a good kid, Frank. Really."

"You're saying that to someone who will throw you under the abusive fist in a heartbeat for their friend?" he asked. I shrugged.

"Ray interests me. What can I say? Though, it's just a little hard to believe that he emotionally abuses Jealousy. He doesn't seem the type."

"Yeah, but you know the saying. Something about a book cover and judging," he said nonchalantly. I laughed.

"Never judge a book by it's cover?" I clarified. I saw the corners of his mouth twitch up slightly, and took that as a smile.

"Yeah, that. Anyways, I figure that I can start up a little rumor. After that, we let the ball keep rolling. Eventually, they'll make a big deal out of it themselves and all we have to do is wait. Whenever you notice him stressed and all that jazz, offer your classroom to him anytime. Let him know he can trust you. I'll be Jealousy's go to person since she tells me everything. At that point, we have to wait for him to go to you, which he will," he explained.

"How do you know he will? I'm a teacher and you don't even trust me."

"Well, you're gonna need to be a little more lenient with him. As much as I hate to say, give him a few grade passes and let him know that you have his back. This isn't going to be easy, Mr. Way, but if we work together and stay on plan, we can do this." I nodded in understanding.

"When do we start?" I asked. I felt a little small at the fact that a 17 year old kid was helping me with my love life. Sure, he was doing it for Ray's girlfriend and maybe even himself, but he was still helping me nonetheless.

"I'll start the rumor next week, so it'll be half way through the school by the time you come back. Since they're both looked up to, everyone will seem to care and be talking about it. They'll become the center of attention. Soon, we'll play our parts." He seemed well informed. But his want to hurt Ray seemed deeper than just Jealousy.

"Before you get too comfortable with this plan, kid, I have a few conditions. Basically only one," I explained. He nodded for me to continue.

"I'll go along with this plan, if you answer any questions I have about you. And you can't lie." I was waiting for him to decline but all he did was take in another gulp of coffee and nod.

"Sounds about fair. But, you only get one question a day," he said.  
"Two," I demanded.

"Fine. Two. Use them wisely, sir," he teased once again. Frank Iero. He was only a kid, yet he basically had me wrapped around his finger.

"I need to get home," he suddenly said.

"Ah, yes. Okay, let's go," I said as I stood up and grabbed my keys. I watched as he grabbed his bag and walked out the door with me following. As I expected, the car ride was silent. I dropped him off a block away from where he directed me to his house. It looked very pretty from far away. I can only imagine up close.

"I'll text you tomorrow and let you know how everything is at school, sir. You know, I was really surprised that you didn't ask me any questions today. Oh, well," he said as he got out the car.

"Wait. What? I didn't think I could start to-"  
"See you!" He said as he closed the door and walked away. All I could do was laugh and drive away.

This kid.


	5. Contact

It was 6 in the morning whenever I received a text message from him.

Frank: _Okay, so far, the only rumor I've thought of was cheating._

I rolled my eyes. This kid was so cliche, but he was right. With a high school couple, this is the main problem.

Me: _That's understandable. How will you go about it?_

I messaged back. I started my normal morning routine. First, making coffee and while waiting for it to finish, watching something on television. After about an hour of sitting in my underwear, drinking coffee, and watching A Clockwork Orange, I got a message.

Frank: _Well, how about I get some help from a girl. Yet, that could also backfire and we'd be discovered. I'll just photo shop something and hang it around the school._

I raised my eyebrow. He was really intense when he wanted to be. I sighed and answered.

Me: _Well, do your best. Did you want to get together again after school?_

I waited patiently for his answer. I was so caught up with the movie that I failed to realize that an hour and a half went by. Oh, shit. I checked my phone, but had no messages. He was in school, so I never questioned it. But when lunch had passed, I began to get concerned. I sent him another text.

Me: _Are you okay?_

I waited for a few seconds, before he answered.

Frank: _Can I shower at your place?_

What? Why couldn't he take a shower at his house? On top of that, I didn't have any clothes for him to wear.

Me: _All my clothes will be big on you. Why do you need to use my shower?_

I knew he would tell me the truth. We had an agreement. I could almost hear him sighing and that made me laugh to myself.

Frank: _I had a little run in with some people who don't like me. I'm dirty and I can't go home that way. Questions will be asked and I don't have the time for those. Can I use your shower? I have my own clothes._

Me: _Sure. I don't care. School ends in another two hours. I'll get you then._

Frank: _Come get me now. I don't want a demerit. Which is what I'll get if I stay here any longer. I'll be waiting in the same spot as yesterday._

What the hell is a demerit? I wanted to ask him, but would that count as my second question? And if I ask him if that counts, does that count? Wait! I said any question about him!

Me: _Okay, I'm coming. I'm not stopping the car, so you'll have to be ready to jump in through the window._

I laughed and hoped he took it as a joke.

Frank: _Roger._

Shit. I hope he doesn't really do it. Knowing him, he'd do it just be a prick. I got dressed in my PJ's and grabbed my keys. I was there in no less than 5 minutes. He was there. He looked... Defeated, almost. He was covered in dried mud, his hair was a complete mess. He clothes were... yellow looking. I pulled up to the curb and he opened the door. He pulled out a towel and put it on the seat.

"You might want to roll down the window. I mean it." I only nodded and did as he said. He got it and his scent went straight to my nostrils. He smelled like mud and urine. He was urinated on?

"Please, don't ask. Not today," was the only thing he said as he leaned back into the seat and stared out the window. I sighed and took off from the school district. The smell was so intense that I practically sped home. Thankfully, I didn't get stopped, I thought when we pulled into my drive-way. It would be hard to explain to a cop why there was a muddy, pee-stained teenage boy in my car during school hours. He quickly got out of the car and removed the towel from my passenger seat.

It took my whole being to not ask him what happened. I unlocked my door and showed him to the restroom.

"Thanks," he said lowly. He pulled off his shirt and his pants. I tensed.

"Can't you at least wait until I leave?" I ask. He looked up at me and looked surprised.

"I thought you had," he confessed. I sighed and reached down for his clothes, but he grabbed my arms and stopped me.

"I don't want you to touch these. They're dirty."

"That's why I'll wash them for you," I told him. He shook his head and I straightened my back a little more than usual.

"I'll... take care of it, Mr. Way. Please, just don't touch them," he told me. He seemed a bit shaken up, so I just left it alone. I closed the door after setting up the shower for him and putting a fresh towel on the sink.

"Poor kid," I murmured to myself. There was no doubt that he was being bullied and I want to ask him about it. I want to take care of it actually. I knew what it felt like to be on the receiving end of other people's torment. I sighed in frustration as I heard the shower shutting off. I set a pot of tea to boil and then sat down to wait for him to make his appearance.

I decided to turn on my stereo, because the house was too quiet and I could hear Frank getting dressed and even sighing so I felt awkward. Suddenly, it was blasting The Beatles and I practically tripped over myself and everything else in the room trying to get to it. Frank rushed out, pants unbuttoned and no shirt. He looked surprised and concerned. He looked at the stereo and walked over to turn the volume down, and then looked down at me.

"Was that loud sound," he paused, "you tripping?" he asked. I nodded and I felt my face redden in embarrassment. He put his hand to his forehead and then started laughing. I stared at him in awe and quickly sat up as he clutched his sides. He was laughing so hard that he was just as red as me. His hazel eyes glistened and his smile's beauty was emphasized by this dimples, and his figure seemed to be glowing.

"Amazing," I whispered. I guess he heard it because he looked at me and quickly stopped laughing, going back to his normal scowl.

"Shut up," he said.  
I smiled.  
This kid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise this gets better. I think <3 Stick around?


	6. Trying to Know Him

We were sitting there, watching a little bit of a history documentary on Nostradamus. It was interesting that he predicted 9/11. People should listen to him a little more.

"Hey, what's a demerit?" I asked him randomly. Anything to get a conversation started, because it was starting to get slightly awkward.  
"If a cadet does something bad, he or she  
gets a mark against the faults or the offense. Basically everyone can know that he or she did bad," he explained. I nodded in understand as he information sunk it.

"Why would you have gotten a demerit?" I asked.

"I would have assaulted someone."

"They assaulted you. You're entitled to do something back."

"It's not worth losing the respect of my family," he said. It was silent for a while when he pulled out his cell phone.

"I have something to show you," he said as he was scrolling through his phone. I waited until he handed his phone to me. It was a picture of Ray kissing a girl who didn't look like Jealousy.

"You photo shopped this?"I asked, impressed. It looked authentic, and I was suddenly in teacher mode. I thought about how he should go to school for web design or something of the sort.

"Turns about I didn't need to photo shop anything," he said. I looked away from the picture and up to him. He still had my towel around his shoulders. My mind wandered and I automatically wished it was Ray with my towel wrapped around him. I covered my face in embarrassment. The thought was too overwhelming and my pants suddenly felt too tight.

"Oh, God," Frank groaned and he threw his towel on my lap.

"Sorry," I explained, "just thought of something." He made a face.

"Ew, old guy erection." I laughed.

"Only kid I know to say erection," I laughed harder and he looked offended.

"Don't judge me. I wanted to say the correct word," he said. He looked like he wanted to smile or even laugh.

"Erection just seems unpleasant, almost," I kept laughing. It was getting hard for me to breathe and that's when he started to laugh.

"You have a forehead vein," he explained and he laughed more and then suddenly straightened up.

"Okay, back to the picture," he said. I looked at him confused.

"How do you do that? How do you recover from laughter so quickly?" I asked. He just shrugged his shoulders. I just let it go. I wasn't going to get anything out of him so easily.

"Anyways, back to the picture. I think we should hook my phone up to a computer that can print out huge poster sized pictures. I'll go to school early in the morning and hang them everywhere."

"But aren't there cameras all around the school?" I asked.

"No. I've seen their system. It's all for show; they don't work." I laughed. That makes sense. Small school, even smaller budget. He smiled a little. Good enough.

"So who is that girl?" I asked. He shrugged his shoulder.

"Just some girl at the school."

"How did you get this picture?" I realized.

"I was going out to my regular place during lunch and I saw that. It just kind of all fell into place. I just took the opportunity and left," he explained. I looked at the photo again and looked at how his face looked. It made me wish he was kissing me. Before my thoughts could get even more in-depth, Frank took his phone away.

"Don't think about it." Was all it took for me to stop. This kid can be seriously intimidating when he wanted to be. I smiled and leaned my head back against the cushion of my recliner.

"What are you smiling about?" He asked me. I shifted my eyes to him, still having that stupid look on my face.

"I want to kiss him, Frank. Let's go through with the plan," I said. He smirked and nodded his head. It took us a couple of more hours to plan everything out:

1\. Frank would head over to the library in the next town over and print out poster sized printers today.

2\. At school, Monday (since today was Friday), I would take him to the school very early in the morning, give him my keys and let him do his job.

3.We go home and I wait for him to text me when he's at school. From there, he updates me on how the relationship is going.

4\. We wait until I come back to school. Early. The same time Ray will start going. (A habit that Frank said he heard him talking about when he was upset) and the real plan will start there.  
It seemed like the easiest plan ever created, but we had to discuss the time to get it perfect. Within that time, Frank had five cups of coffee, black. I always had to take mine with 3 creamers and 2 sugars, otherwise I wouldn't drink it.

"Are... you okay?" I asked as he downed his last cup. It didn't seem like the coffee had any effect on him, but I was still very concerned. He looked up at me from writing the plan.

"Yes, why?" He asked. I shook my head.

"No reason. Just wondering," I answered. I looked at the time and it was only four. School let out about 15 minutes ago. I was shocked because I didn't notice how fast time had gone by.

"Man, it's already 4," I sighed, " What time do you need to be home?" I asked as I stretched on the recliner. He shrugged.

"My parents won't be home tonight, so it doesn't really matter," he stated as he dropped his pencil, arched his back, and used his hand to cover his mouth as he yawned.

"Why not?" I asked curiously.

"Eh, something about business in another state. They're business people," is all he says. He seems lonely. My parents were always around, and they never let me feel alone at all. We had family nights often where we would shut off our phone and play board games. It was so much fun and I miss those times. Both of them passed away a few years ago and it hurts dearly, but it must be even harder to have parents who are never there.

"You can stay here if you'd like," I tell him. There's no way in hell I can let this kid go on not knowing what a family is like.

"At least take me out to dinner first, sir," he teases and I smile, knowing that's his way of saying yes. "I need to get clothes from home first and then go to the library. And at eight, I have to go and conduct a color guard for the JROTC battalion," he says. That sounds tiring, but anything to get him to play board games with me, maybe even watch whatever movie he wants to.

"All right, then we'll do that. Let's get started early. C'mon," I say as I stand and grab my keys. Poor car is gonna get driven a lot today. She can still ride like smooth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dude. Pokemon theme song.
> 
> Also, special thank you to the amazing person who comments on this story every time I update. You're the best.


	7. Family Night? (Part One)

"This is my home," Frank told me as we entered his grand home, "feel free to snoop around. I don't care." Then he walked away up the wide steps to the second floor. _Well_ , I thought, _his parents certainly are business people. Look at this house, it's beautiful. But... It's missing a home feeling. It's nothing but a house. Poor Frank._

I took a seat on the big fluffy looking couch, which is misleading seeing how it's a hard sofa. I groaned in pain as I let myself fall on the couch.

"Not soft, right?" I heard Frank's voice. I looked over at him and nodded.

"I normally sit on the floor or something," he said as he walked away. "Come on, Mr. Way, let's get going. Library closes in an hour." I got up and remembered my way back to the front door. As I closed the door behind me, I noticed Frank already sitting in the passengers seat. I looked at him for a few minutes before getting in the car myself.

"You have a very nice home," I said as I started the car.

"I guess so. It's just a house really. I'd honestly be okay with being poor if it meant my parents were home more, but that's besides the point right now," he explained. I was slightly shocked that he shared something so private.

"That's the entire point right now, Frank. You want your parents to stay with you a lot, and there's nothing wrong with that."

"There is according to my father," he said lowly. We hit a red light, and I took that opportunity to look at him.

"What do you mean?" I asked him.

"Nevermind, you know? It's nothing," he shrugged.

"No. It's not nothing. Is your dad telling you that you have to live this way?" I asked curiously. I watched as he nodded. Wow... Poor kid. That's it. This family night is definitely happening, I thought, determined. The car behind me honked and I realized that the light had turned green. I quickly put my foot on the gas and turned off into the library parking lot. I parked the car and Frank quickly got out as did I. 20 minutes into our library visit, we had printed and laminated about 15 copies of the picture. The librarian gave us weird looks, but Frank lied and told her they were movie posters of a film we were making. She quickly believed us whenever she saw the JROTC patch on his chest and proceeded to help us cut out the laminated posters which were roughly 27" x 40"

"This should be enough, right, Mr. Way?" Frank asked me. I nodded and pulled out my wallet to pay the librarian. It all came out to $25 and I was almost reluctant to pay for it seeing as I'm helping someone get their life destroyed, but I did anyways.

"Let's go, Mr. Way," was all Frank said after rolling up the posters. I followed him out of the library and into my car.

"Do you really want to do this?" I asked him as I started the car.

"He hurt my family. He doesn't deserve a happy life," he answered.

"Isn't that a bit extreme though? I mean, I get that she's your family, but there's a limit, isn't there?" I put my foot on the gas and took off in the direction of the movie store.

"Since my family isn't around, I'll be around for them. I'm doing what I assume any other family member will do when their own is being hurt." I couldn't argue with that. He was right. My family is the same way; we would kill for each other.

"I suppose you're right," I said as we pulled into the movie store. I parked and shut off the car, I turned to him and he was looking at me confused.

"What are we doing here?" He asked. I opened the car door and shrugged.

"Getting movies," and then I got out, waiting for him to make the same move. Eventually, he did, and we went inside the store.

"Well," I said to him,"pick any movie you want." Then I went in a different direction to pick out my own movies. I wandered around for about 20 minutes before going to find him, and after going through all the aisles, I found him in the last one holding a bunch of movies in his arms.

"All of those? What are they?" I asked. He turned and looked at me with a smile on his face.

"I've been wanting to see all of these. I heard they were all great, but I'll be the judge of that," he said. His eyes beamed with excitement. I smiled and shook my head at his silliness.

"All right, then. Let's get those," I chuckled. His eyes lit up more.

"You mean it?" He asked excitedly. I nodded and he went to the front counter. I laughed quietly, followed after him and pulled out my wallet. I watched as he set the movies down, and noticed him trying not to look so excited in front of the cashier. I counted the movies as the cashier scanned them. There were 13 movies in total. Jesus, this kid is gonna make me go broke. Even though I thought that, I couldn't help but smile at my discovery: Frank, too, was childish in his own way.

"That'll be $49.99," the cashier Robb his name tag read, informed me. I nearly fainted, but considering it was 13 movies, it was kind of cheap. "Is that going to be cash or card?" I sighed and pulled out my card. Thankfully, I was slightly well off. Besides, I needed the money for snacks later. This family night will be the best thing for him right now, and I needed to focus on that rather than the money in my wallet.  
Frank's deprived of the things I had the privilege of having when I was growing up. Even though my parents always worked, they made time to make sure we were okay and made sure we spent nearly every night together. Frank, on the other hand, how many nights did he go home to an empty house? How many times had he eaten dinner alone? Watched television alone? How many times did he go to bed without anyone to tell him goodnight?

I looked over at him as he impatiently waited for Robb to put the movies in a bag. He was slightly bouncing on the balls of his feet. Finally, when the bag was set down near him, he quickly grabbed it and then looked at me, noticing how I was smiling at his behavior. He quickly stopped all his movements and left the store. I chuckled softly and looked back at the cashier who was staring at me.

"Here you go," he said as he held out my card. I smiled and took the card.

"Thanks, Robb." He looked shocked until he seemed to remember that he had a name tag on, and he smiled sweetly.

"Smile more, okay? You look 10 times more adorable." He blushed and smiled more, nodding his head. I don't know why I said it, I guess I was just feeling great enough to give some advice. I left the store and noticed Frank reading the backs of the movies and I smiled so much, my cheeks hurt. I slid inside the car, but he didn't even turn to me because he was so interested in the movies. This kid is so unpredictable. I started the car and drove to the store for some popcorn and soda, and maybe I'll cook dinner tonight. I kept driving in the direction of the store as Frank kept reading the back of the movies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> <3 I've recently been obsessed over Ray's For the Lost and Brave song. I tear up every single time I hear it xxo


	8. Family Night? (Part Two)

I quickly walked throughout the store, because I didn't want to leave Frank in the car by himself for too long. Someone could just take him because he's so wrapped up in his movies to even look up! I quickly walk to the last aisle and grab a couple of boxes of popcorn and head further down the section to the sodas. Shit. I don't know what kind he likes. I pull out my phone and scroll through my contacts and call him. It rings about three times before he answers.

"Yes?" he answers. I roll my eyes at him trying to be professional.

"What kind of soda do you like?" I asked as I scanned the sodas.

"My stomach can only handle Sprite. But whatever is fine. I have medication anyways," was all he said before hanging up. I rolled my eyes once again and I picked up a couple of two liters of Sprite before heading to wait in line. As I was standing in line, to my right, I noticed a board game of Candyland. I would've fangirled had I not been a man and a grown one at that. I quickly grabbed the board game, ignoring the weird looks coming from mother's with their children.

When it's finally my time to pay for my things, I watch the price go up and up as he scans everything. Coming out to a total of $15.90 and deciding that it's still worth it for Frank to have a family night. I grab the bags with one hand and carry the game board in the other and start walking back to the car. As I glance at my car, I notice that Frank isn't in the passengers seat anymore, and I quicken my pace.

"Frank?" I call out loudly. I see his head peak out from behind the car and I sigh in relief.

"What's up?" He asked. I shake my head, smiling at him.

"Nothing," I say as I put the bags and the game in the backseat. "Ready to go?" I asked as I got in the car. He followed suit and soon, we were driving off back to my house.

"So what are we doing tonight? More planning?" He asked as he looked at the bags in the back.

"Well, I thought that we could watch all those movies you picked out, eat some popcorn and junk, and play some board games," I said slowly. I didn't know how he would take it so I have to approach with caution.

"I guess that sounds all right," he mumbles. I smile slightly and take it that he's happy. I look at the time and it's 5:45 pm. We have time to watch at least one movie before he has to go perform color guard. The drive home was honestly pretty relaxing. I looked over at Frank very often to make sure he didn't seem bored, which is really hard to distinguish from his normal facial expression. Halfway home, I turned off the radio.

"Hey, there's a CD in the glove department. Can you get it and put it in?" I asked him as I made a turn. He did as I said, with judgement.

"The Beatles?" He questioned. "Speaking of which, you were playing their song at your house too loud, weren't you?" He didn't even need to ask since he obviously already knew.

"They're such an old band though," he mumbled.

"Excuse me, Mr. Iero, but they only disbanded almost 40 years ago!" I defended. "I'm pretty sure they had more left in them, which is why pretty much all of them went solo, but they felt it was time already."

"I feel like you're... obsessed," he said. I rolled my eyes.

"C'mon, do you really think I-"

"Yes," he said. I never even got to finish my sentence.

"Fine. It's the lead singer, John Lennon. He gets me, is all. Their music is just also really good. Will you just drop it and put the CD on?" I say, slightly pouting. He put in the CD and Love Me Do began playing.

"Hello?" I heard him say. I thought he was talking to me so I turned to look at him seeing him on the phone. Oh, well, okay then, I thought.

"Yes. It begins at 8 pm on the dot. If everyone is there before the time, then we may start early," he said as he spoke into the phone. He was currently in his commander mode, so he sounded much more professional.

"At ease, PFC ! I am not the one who is in charge of the entire battalion," I heard him yell into the phone. Then he sighed. "Sorry for raising my voice, Price. You know I hate doing that," he looked out the window and then spoke again, "but I will if I have too." His voice seemed to be stern and intimidating, so I just concentrated on the road and blocked out his conversation until he cleared his throat.

"I'm sorry you had to hear that conversation, Mr. Way. As you heard, I sometimes have to be stern with them. I'm just preparing them for whenever I graduate. I want them to be able to hand these things on their own," he said. He had a point. It was considered tough love.

"Also," he spoke, "the event was cancelled tonight due to high chances of a thunderstorm. My First Sergeant just sent me the text."  
His first sergeant texted him that? That's weird... Okay, I guess I'm not one to talk. I'm his teacher and he's about to stay the next couple of days at my house.

"So more time for movies?" I asked. He chuckled.

"Yeah, that's right. What should we watch first though?" He asked as I pulled into my driveway.

"Let's head inside and we'll pick something while I'm making dinner. Sound good?" I asked as we walked up to the door.

"Sounds like a plan," he said. We walked inside after I unlocked the door and started getting everything ready. Frank laid all of the movies on the floor and then went to pour himself a cup of Sprite. I pulled out some ingredients to make the pasta my parents would make every time we had a special family night.

I glanced over at him looking excitedly at his movies. I really hope he likes this night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I'm finally gonna start adding on my other stories :D


	9. Nickname

"Okay, so have you decided on a movie yet?" I asked Frank. I was still in the middle of boiling the pasta when I heard him removing the wrapper of one of the movies.

"Well, I wanna try this one, but then I also wanna try this other one. So many choices to make," he groaned. I chuckled in response.

"Why not watch both?" I asked.

"Oh," he responded. It seems like he never even thought of that.

"Okay, so which one do you want to see first?" I asked.

"Well, they both kinda have the same plots, pretty much."

"Well, what's the first one?" I asked.

"It's called Equalizer," he said. I thought about it for a second and then remembered seeing the previews.

"The one with Denzel Washington? Great! Put that one on," I encouraged. I continued making the dressing for the pasta as Frank impatiently took the wrapper off the movie.

"Mr.Way, I'll be messing with your T.V, just to let you know." I chuckled at his childishness and sat down on my recliner. I looked over at Frank and watched as he crawled over to the DVD player. I observed the way his bottom swayed with each time he moved one of his legs forward. I quietly gasped and slapped my cheek hard, making him look at me.

"Did you just-" I interrupted him.

"Yeah. Pay no mind. I was in thought," I explained. I watched as his eyes trailed down lower on my body and I instinctively looked down.

"Thinking about Ray again?" he asked. I covered myself. My God, this is embarrassing. I felt my cheek heating up and I quickly got up and headed into my room before sitting on my bed. After a few moments of silence, I heard the door open squeakily.

"Mr. Way, you know, it's normal. You don't need to be embarrassed, besides, I mean, you've gotten like that in front of me before so," he explained. That made me feel worse.

"I should be able to control myself. I'm a grown man-" I wasn't able to finish my sentence before he interrupted me.

"Exactly. You're a grown man; therefore, it's natural. Let's go watch the movie and I think your food is burning or something." That was all he needed to say before I sprinted towards the kitchen and quickly took the pot off the stove. I studied it and I was happy to see that it was just right. I started making the sauce and cutting up some raw chicken. I was working on oiling the pan when Frank walked up and leaned forward on the counter.

"What are you making?" He asked as I placed the pieces of chicken on the pan one by one and covered it with my pizza pan.

"It's a pasta that my parents cooked for me and my sibling. It'll be done in 20-30 minutes," I responded. He nodded and stayed there. I was slightly surprised because I was expecting him to go and start the movie. He cleared his throat as I was opening a can of tomato sauce causing me to look at him.

"Anything I can do to help?" He asked. I smiled and nodded.

"Sure. Can you turn the chicken over? It'll pop so be careful, okay?" He nodded and walked over to the stove, taking the pan off the stove. I watched as he grabbed the big plastic spoon that was on the counter and moved the chicken around. I sighed happily and turned back to pouring the tomato sauce in another big pot that I planned on pouring the noodles in. I was in the middle of rinsing off the noddles when I heard Frank yelp and he dropped to his knees, slightly groaning. I quickly put the bowl down and rushed over to him.

"What happened?!" I asked as I helped him up. He was holding his neck and wouldn't move his hand.

"Nothing. I just started staring off into space," he tried to dismiss me. I grabbed his wrist and forcefully moved his hand. He turned his head away so I couldn't see.

"Frank," I said sternly. He still didn't move. I clenched my jaw in frustration and turned his head myself, looking at the huge red mark on his neck. His skin is sensitive if he got this hurt just from an oil pop. I moved away from him and into my room without a word and came back shortly with a cold, wet towel and handed it to him.  
"Here." Then I went back to draining the noodles. I looked over at the chicken and mixed it again, barely even noticing the oil that popped on my hands.

"Ah, thanks, by the way. Is the chicken okay? I didn't burn it?" He asked it. I smiled at his concern for the food.

"Your safety is more important. Besides, it's fine. Don't worry about it," I said as I poured the noodles in the pot and began mixing it with the sauce on the bottom.

"Frank, can you turn off the stove and then mix the chicken once more. It shouldn't pop anymore." I heard the stove click off as I continued mixing it.

"What now, Mr. Way?" I heard him ask.

"Come over here and scoop it into this pot while I mix it." He comes over to my side and scoops the chicken in spoonful by spoonful, making it easier to mix. It was then that I noticed how close his face was to mine. I tried to ignore it and mix it a little faster until he was done and stepped away. I let out a sigh in relief and then went to wash my hands. By the time I was drying them, I heard the movie start.

"Okay. Dinner time, then, Frankie!" I called out to him over the loud sound of the opening scene. "Come wash your hands," I say as I open a top cabinet and reach for a couple of plates.

"You sound like an adult," he says as he's washing his hands. I roll my eyes as I scoop a good amount of pasta onto his plate and set it aside before giving myself the same amount.

"Maybe that's because I am," I say back as I take our plates to the living room coffee table and sit on the floor. He comes over and sit down near my on the floor.

"Just barely," he chuckled. I wanted to stick my tongue out at him, but decided against it because that would help his argument. Then I realized I forgot the drinks so I got up instead.

"Tea sound good to you?" I asked him.

"Sure," He answered as he put a forkful of pasta in his mouth. I smiled, kind of hoping he would compliment my cooking, but then brush the idea away from my thought as I grabbed the tea from the fridge.

Like Frank Iero would actually compli-

"This is really good, Mr. Way. Thank you for the food," he said as he never took his eyes away from the movie playing in front of him. I tried not to smile as I pour us a cup full of tea both and walked back over to the coffee table.

"No problem, Mr. Iero, and here's your tea," I said as I held it out to him. He took it but not without giving me a look.

"What?" I said as I took a seat.

"What happened to 'Frankie'?" he asked, taking a drink of the tea before setting it down on the table. I shrugged my shoulders and we ate in silence for a while before he spoke quietly.

"I... kind of liked it," he murmured. Shocked, I quickly snapped my head to look over at him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :* Much love


	10. Power Outage

"I kind of... Liked it," he murmured.

I looked at him, taken mildly at the Fack admitted something like that, but then he cleared his throat suddenly, turning back to his food and focusing on the movie. I just decided to ignore it until he brings it up again, which I doubt he will seeing as this is Frank Iero.

"This is pretty good. I bet $10 bucks that he used to be in, like, special forces or something. Deal?" He suddenly said. I rolled my eyes at him and smiled.

"Deal," I said. I noticed he didn't make a move to shake hands.

"You know, you have to shake hands to enable the deal, right?" I told him.

"Yeah, I was just trying to see if you'd tell me or just let it happen. I do that often with people and you're the first person, other than Jealousy, to say something," he chuckled. He obviously seemed to have trust issues and I admired him for being such a tough kid. Suddenly, I heard a very small noise. It sounded like vibrating. I felt my pocket and my phone was still.

"Hey, is your phone vibrating or something?" I asked him. He shrugged and crawled over to the couch he was sitting on earlier. I saw him pick up his phone and then he turned to me, rolling his eyes almost.

"Can I use your room, Mr. Way?" He asked as he stood up. I nodded and he wasted no time in answering the call.

"Yes, ma'am," He answered. He walked into my room but didn't close the door. The movie was still playing and I didn't want to be rude so I paused it. The only noise being made was the central air.

"No, I'm not at home. I'm staying with someone until you and the demon, I mean, father get home," he spoke. There was a pause.

"What does it matter if I'm not at home if you're not at home? You want me to stay inside that huge house by myself for three days now? I refuse to feel more lonely than I have to be!" He raised his voice slightly.

"I understand that you and father's business is more important than my well-being. With that being said, focus on your jobs and leave me alone. You've done a very good job of doing that so far. Goodbye for now, ma'am," he huffed out. I sat on the living room floor, feeling very awkward having heard that conversation.

"Did you hear any of that?" He said as he came out and sat by me on the floor again. I nodded, not really wanting to make eye contact.

"Sorry," he apologized.

"It's all right, Frankie. Let's just continue the movie and get your mind off of it," I said as i went for the remote to hit play. At the same time, Frank reaches as well, letting our hands touch. We looked at each other. Not this cliche bullshit.

"Not this cliche bullshit," he said as he grabbed the remote and hit play. I laughed.

"That's exactly what I was thinking." We watched the rest of the movie in silence only making noises when he killed someone in a seriously awesome way. When it ended, we were completely satisfied. Well, I was since I can't exactly speak for him. He looked very happy though. At least, the Frank Iero version of happy.

"Okay, so what's next?" I asked as I took out the DVD and put it back in its case.

"How about a classic after such a dark movie?" he asked as he rummaged through his giant stack of movies.

"I love classics. Which one?"

"Well, I've never seen the Wizard of Oz, so how about that one?" he suggested.

What.

"You've never seen it?!" I exclaimed. I couldn't believe it. You didn't have a childhood if you've never-... Oh. Right. I grabbed the movie from him and unwrapped it easily.

"You're gonna love this, Frankie. It's so good." I put on the movie. This was the remastered version, meaning they edited out the person hanging themselves in the woods, so I'll probably just have to tell him about it whenever we get to the Tinman part.

"So what is this about?" He asked.

"Nope. You're going to have to watch it," I responded.

"I feel like you love this movie too much, sir-" I interrupted him.

"My name is Gerard. I'd rather you call me that while we're here so I don't feel so weird about a student staying with me for a few days."

"All right. Uh, Gerard, then," he said lowly. I could tell he felt very awkward about it, but then I thought that he hardly calls me by name yet it was enough to make me feel awkward.

"And yes, I really love this movie. It's my favorite, really." I pressed play and waited.

"By the way, this is pretty much a musical," I laughed.

"Oh, God, I hate those! Let's watch something else," he said as he went to grab the remote from my hand. I pulled the remote out of his reach.

"Ah, ah, ah! We're watching this. Believe me, I hate musicals, too, but this one is just amazing. The right actors."

"Gerard, c'mon!" He said as he stood up to reach it better. I crawled away a little before standing up as well and holding it higher. It wasn't that he was short (much), I was just taller than him. I laughed more, holding him at arms length. Eventually, he settled down back where he was sitting and pouted it seemed.

Then it came to the opening scene of Dorothy running up to her family's farm.

"This is in Sepia?" He asked.

"Yeah. Just wait maybe 20 minutes. Okay, so that's Judy Garland. The actress, not the character. Originally she wasn't the first choice to play this part. There were two other girls. One was Shirley Temple, who was very big at the time, and another girl whose name escapes me. Anyways, Because of Shirley Temple's contract, she wasn't able to play the part and then they also realized that her voice may not have been best for this film," I took a deep breath, still watching the movie, before continuing, "and the other girl, she ended up passing away due to an allergy, I think. I'm not too sure. So here we are with Judy Garland."

"Interesting, I think," he responded. "They talk so fast and weird like."

I smiled.

"Yes. Well, I have theories about that. Well, maybe just this one: back then, each minute of film had to be used carefully. It was very expensive then. But who knows if I'm right." We continued to watch the movie in silence and it was at the part where Miss Gulch was coming for Toto when a loud thunder roared and the power went out. At that moment, I felt Frank basically wrapped himself around my right arm practically shaking.

"Frankie?" He just hugged my arm tighter and continued shaking as more thunder roared across the city.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear it really does pick up <3


	11. A Whole New Side

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter, tbh

"Frankie?" I asked him as he continued shaking against my arm. He didn't seem to register my voice as another loud sound of thunder roared through the sky, and that was when I heard him slightly whimper.

"Frank, it's all right. The thunder isn't going to hurt you," I told him as I hesitantly wrapped my other arm around him, protectively. He went from clutching my arm to my shirt. Suddenly, the lights turned back on and the only noise being made was the sound of my refrigerator starting back up..

"I'm sorry..." He said lowly as he let go of my shirt and moved away.

"No, that's okay. Why are you so scared of thunder?" I asked. He seemed hesitant in telling me, but he turned towards me and took a deep breath.

"When I was a little boy, my parents went out on another business trip. Throughout the whole time they were gone, it stormed. Hard. I was all alone in that God forsaken place, and the thunder was so loud and so close that the house shook constantly. I thought it was going to collapse on me and I would die before I had to chance to do anything with my life. I'm... terrified of thunder because all it does is remind me how alone I really am." I listen to him ramble on and on, before it finally hit me that he was just a little boy. He wasn't the tough, angry-looking, egotistical teenage boy that he made himself out to be, he was just a lonely boy. He missed his parents, he wanted a family, and a home.

"You... really love your parents, don't you?" I asked him. He looked up at me with a confused face and then he made a face as if he only realized that himself.

"Yeah, I...do. I just don't see why they have to leave me alone all the time," he said, "Why buy such a big house if it's all for one person? Why not just stay home and have regular jobs like a cashier or a housekeeper or whatever normal jobs are," then he sighed. "I'm sorry. I really shouldn't be complaining to you." I shook my head and put my hand on his shoulder.

"Don't be sorry. You're finally acting human. In all these years I've been at this school, I kept hearing about the amazing cadets in JROTC and then I heard about you. The boy who ranked fast, and when I finally met you, I was surprised. Honestly, I was a little shocked by your stoic behavior and aloof attitude. But, right now, I'm really proud of you. All of this "complaining" is something you should do more often," I told him. He shrugged his shoulders in response and looked down at his hands in his lap." I sighed and put my hand on his, squeezing them. He looked up at me and I smiled at him. He gave me a little twitch of his lips and I accepted it as a smile. I pulled my hand away and broke eye contact with him.

"Mr. Wa-ah, um, Gerard. You're still into Ray, right?" he asked. I looked over at him again and raise my brow at him.

"Yeah, why?" I asked. He cleared his throat and gestured down with his head. I looked down at myself and saw that my arousal was showing. What the hell?

"I-I was just thinking that I would've loved to be in this situation with Ray. Perfect time to kiss him, is what I thought about- I mean, just a romantic setting and, and-" then he raised up his hand to silence me and I did. He gave me a sincere smile and I smiled back.

"I get it. This really would've been the good setting. Just... don't ramble on like you just did. It'll kill whatever mood would've been created," he explained. I nodded my head in understanding. I made him feel awkward, and I don't even know where my erection came from. I sighed, running my hands through my hair before looking over at him once again. He was turning the television back on to continue the movie when the thunder roared once more and he stilled himself, shutting his eyes tightly and putting his hands over his ears. It was then that the power went out again and an even louder sound of thunder sounded across the sky, making Frank abandon what I'm sure he thought was his brave self and launched himself over at me, hugging me tightly. I hesitantly wrapped one of my arms around his shoulder while using my other to keep us upright.

"Frankie, are you okay? It's just thunder. It won't hurt you, I promise," I said, trying to calm him down, seeing as he was shaking so violently against me.

"This is really embarrassing, Gerard. I can't not be afraid of thunder. It's been imprinted into my memories, into my fears, and into my life. All it will ever do is remind me exactly how alone I am," he said quietly, almost whispering. I pulled back a little bit, making him look at me.

"You're not alone this time, are you? I'm right here, and I'm not going on any business trips." He didn't say anything, but instead nodded. It irritates me a little bit to know that his parents were perfectly fine with having him stay home alone. Did they even know about his phobia of thunderstorms? I held him a little tighter and he quickly pulled away. Did I squeeze too tight?

"Stop it," he said. I gave him a questioning look, and then noticed that the lights were still off and just shook my head and my ridiculousness. I was wondering if I should ask when it thundered again. Instead of coming into my arms like I expected, I felt him move behind me and clutch to my shirt.

I understood. He didn't want me to see him as a scared little boy. I stay facing the front, even when the lights turned on and he didn't move from his spot.

"Frankie?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you okay?" I asked. I wanted to turn around more than anything and hold him, because he really deserved it.

"I'm fine. I just have to get through this storm," he explained as his grip tightened on my shirt.

"I'm here this time, you know. You aren't alone," I whispered.

"Thanks, Gerard..." He whispered back. Hearing that sent shivers throughout my entire body, and I suddenly felt warm despite the cold of the rain entering the room. I smiled softly. I'd completely misjudged Frank and I was happy that this was who he really was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and stuff are pretty cool <3


	12. Reminiscing (Frank's POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's self-harm towards the end of this chapter. I'll put a warning just before it starts.

"You know what? The lights will just keep turning off, so let's head to bed. You're welcome to sleep in my room if you get too," he paused, probably looking for a word other than "scared."

"Well, if it gets too intense during the night, okay?" He said. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes, because he was only trying to be considerate of me. He's really not a bad guy, but he's more like a kid than an adult. It made me wonder exactly what he was like when he was a teenager.

"I'll keep that in mind," I replied as he got up, and took his leave. I laid on the couch and looked up at the ceiling. I don't really know how long I was staring into space before Gerard came out again with some pillows and a thick blanket since it was pretty cold in the house now.

"I don't have a heater so I hope you'll be warm with this," he said. I reached for the blanket and at that time, I heard the sound of thunder again and pulled my hand back. I hate that I can't control this. If it even sounds like thunder I become a little kid again. I love my parents, but I also hate them for who they are. Maybe I love them because I'm obligated to seeing as I came from my shithead of a father and out of my insensitive asshole mother. I sighed and put my face in my hands. I felt the couch next to me dip, and then a hand on my shoulder.

"Yeah, why don't you come sleep in my bed? I don't move in my sleep, so you don't have to worry about me being all up on you," he chuckled.

"No, no. I'll be fine. Thanks, so, um, goodnight," I said as I grabbed the blankets and curled up into them. I heard Gerard sigh and then receding footsteps. When I opened my eyes, the lights were off and it was pitch black.

I turned on my back again and stared into nothing. Gerard must've been pretty exhausted, because I could hear his soft snoring. I counted the second in between his snores and soon enough, I found myself drifting to sleep.

 

_"We'll be back in a week, okay, sweetheart? I know it's a long time, but this deal is very important to mommy and daddy. We're doing this for you," I was suddenly looking up at my mother again. I looked down at my hands and they were little again. I remember this. This was when they left me a two weeks rather than the one they promised._

_"Where are you two going?" I asked him. My mom lowered herself to her knees and smiled at me._

_"This is in Russia. Would you like a souvenir?" She asked as she stroked my hair back. I shook my head at her. She sighed and raised herself back up again as my father came into our view. He was a hard man. Stubborn, full of himself, but also full of shit. And, yet, I still looked up to him because I thought he was the best man ever. That was then._

_"You're the man of this house, okay?" He said. I nodded and watched as they walked away. No hugs, no kisses, they didn't even look back. I watched their car drive away until I couldn't even see the lights on the car anymore. I closed the door behind me and looked around. I went into the living room and jumped on the couch, I almost immediately scrunched up my face in pain and hopped off. I spent the next 30 minutes wandering through the entire house before finding myself in front of the front door again. I slid down until I was fully laying down and let myself cry for a few minutes at the realization I'd uncovered while wandering through the empty house._

_I was alone._

_Like my father said, I was the man of the house until they came back._

_It was a few hours later that I made myself dinner, took a shower, and put myself to bed. It wasn't anything really new to me. I always ate alone, because my parents were still at work then. I would get ready for bed and tuck myself in, saying good night to the empty house, and falling asleep all before they got home._

_I was on the verge of falling asleep when I heard the light patter of rain on our roof. I hadn't heard anything of rain when I was watching the news earlier so I was surprised, but thought nothing of it. It came down harder and harder within the next five minutes. My room flashed every minute or so with lighting until I heard it. The sound of thunder against my ears. I tried to sleep, but it became louder and louder until I felt the house shaking in tune with the thunder. I quickly sat up and crawled under my bed, crying and crying so loud that I couldn't hear the thunder anymore. It didn't matter to my 6 year old self. I could still feel it._

_And there I was, with him right under the bed, covering his ears for him while trying to block the sound out myself. He was just a little boy, and he didn't need this, this fear, this reminder of what it meant for him. For me._

_"Mommy!" He screamed and screamed. I tried to hold him, but I couldn't even mistake the want for mother as well. We screamed together for what must have been hours before his voice gave out and all his tears had run dry. The sun was already coming up by the time he closed his eyes and slept the day away until the sun went down and the rain started again. All I could do was watch helplessly as the life dimmed more and more until there was none left and his parents were home again._

_They found me under the bed. I remember the look on their faces twist up. I knew what that meant. I hadn't taken a shower in two weeks. Because of the thunder, I stayed awake crying for my mother all night and slept during the day when it had stopped. I only ate when I woke up early that it was still light out._

_"Frank, sweetie, what's wrong?" My mother asked._

_"You lied." Was all I said. She didn't even look remotely guilty._

_"I know mommy said a week, but we stopped at Paris for a week. Your father and I have been so stressed with work that we had to get away. You understand, right?" I turned my back on her that day. That sentence ran through my mind every time it stormed. As I got older, I thought about it more._

_Stressed at work? She gave birth to me. I was a part of her and my joke of a father, so why wasn't I their stress reliever? I did everything they told me to without hesitation. I didn't talk unless spoken to, I didn't bring what little friends I had over to the house because I knew they were tired, I did my own things like washed my own clothes, washed the dishes they'd left behind and cleaned the house even though they had a fucking maid! I never asked for anything they gave me, but I was grateful. I just wished for them to be home more, but all they did was try to buy my love._

_"Frank, don't be like this," she said. I looked over my shoulder at her and she gasped at the look in my eyes._

_"You're such a selfish, ungrateful little bastard, aren't you?" She scolded me. I crawled out from under my bed without sparing her a single glance and washed up. That was the day I stopped looking at her._

_I walked in on her talking on the phone, talking to her own mother a month later. About me._

_"I don't know what to do with him anymore, mom. He's just too young to understand exactly how hard it is to be an adult." I snapped and walked into the room, slamming the door closed behind me. She jolted up in surprise and turned around._

_"Too young to understand? Shouldn't that mean that I'm too young to stay alone in this huge house for two weeks? Too young for my parents to lie to me about how long they'll be gone? Obviously not."_

_That was the day I stopped loving her._

_Yes, she gave birth to me, but what was the point if she was married to her job more than she was my mother._

_That night, I locked my door and even barricaded it before screaming and screaming into my pillow. Ignoring the bangs and threats coming from my father through the door.  
Even if they're home, I'm alone. Being with them is more lonely than being physically alone. I sat next to my younger self on the bed and watched as his eyes filled with rage. I'd wished I could go back, because everyone does, but I can't, because we all realize that at some point. No matter what kind of fucked up shit happens to us, we can't go back and change it. We can't unmeet the people who hurt us. We can't stop our parents from conceiving us and prevent us from being born. We can't deny the fact that all of this is supposed to happen._

_**You can skip this scene, if it'll hurt you**_

_My young self looks at me and I know what he's about to do next. I cringe at what I could do to myself at 7 years old. He reaches into the drawer by our bed and pulls out a razor blade we'd kept there for two weeks, just waiting._

_I look away as he puts it to his thigh and drags it along. Five times, he does this. I remember the feeling. Like my pain was exiting the wounds like my blood was._

_This nightmare. I've been having every time there's a thunderstorm and, by now, I knew how to handle it. But something about seeing myself harming myself, still makes me cringe. I suppose it's understandable because even when I still did it, I always looked away, because even though it made me feel better, I felt ashamed._

_I was the person people least expected to do this. I was the kid everyone thought had it all. I hate cliches like that. It's people judging without knowing me and going through what I went through. I felt a little selfish every time I did it, because kids had it worse than I did and here I  
was... acting like it was so horrible._

_**It's over**_

_"Frank, what are those marks right there?" Mother asked me. I made the mistake of leaving my door open when I was only in my underwear. I hadn't talked to her in months, but it didn't really matter because she was at work most of the time. She came back when I was asleep and was already gone by the time I woke up. I hated it. I wanted her to see how much she hurt by leaving me like she did followed by calling me those things she did. I could finally do it now._

_I walked over to the door and slowly closed it in her face. She couldn't pretend to care now and get away with it. I locked it and then laughed at the symbolism of doing so. By closing the door, I let her see how it felt to be hurt by someone who was one of their own. By locking it, I locked her out of my heart. She'd never get in and hurt me again._

_I was definitely on my own this time, but that was okay, because I was already to begin with. This only made it official. I stopped hurting myself that day and settled on sharpening my pencil very sharp and slowly pushing the point into my skin. It hurt enough to take the pain away from my chest, but left no permanent marks and was gone by the end of the day. I spent most of my day in my room, silent, in a big house while my parents were out. Occasionally, one of them would get home early and I would see my father with someone who wasn't my mother or my mother with someone who wasn't with my father. I never said a word and instead watched them betraying each other and feeling slightly better that it wasn't just me who was betrayed. I guess the only difference was that I knew and they didn't._

_They were dirty and tainted. I didn't speak to them for years until I started high school and my mother started trying again._

_"I hate you," she said. Wait. I don't remember her saying that._

_"I really fucking hate you." When did she say this._

_"I hate you, too, mother." When did I say this?_

_"I really fucking hate you, too, mother." Stop it. You know you don't mean that._

I was shaken awake.

"Frankie? Wake up. What's wrong?" I looked up to Gerard and then looked around me. I was at the foot of his bed at the foot of his bed. All of his blankets were tossed on the floor and he was in front of me on his knees. He touched my face and wiped off what I suppose were tears.

"What did I do?" I asked him.

"You showed me the truth," he said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know how this is! A little insight to why Frank is the way he is for thr most part.


	13. How Do I React?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Intro to slight smut. I'd take this while available because my characters are super frustrating. Believe me.
> 
> Also, this is where the story becomes Frank's POV

The next day, Gerard and I avoided an discussion leading to what happened last night and focused on movies and junk food all day long. He was very quiet today, even for him and it slightly bothered me seeing as there was obviously an elephant in the room. Well, that an this movie was very... sexual. The one we were watching is called the Dreamers. It's about a young man, who is very interested in movies, is in France and comes across two witty, and odd siblings and befriends them. Seems like a seemingly innocent movie until you get to the incest and the bittersweet development of their relationships with each other. At the moment, we just went passed the sex scene between the young American man and the sister. I'd be lying myself if I said it didn't get to me as well.

I looked over at Gerard and watched as he shifted in his recliner. He looked everywhere but the screen, yet her moans were making it hard to ignore what was happening. I kept my hands on my lap, feeling my own arousal starting up. Feeling slightly ashamed, I cleared my throat, accidentally causing him to look at me. We smiled at each other awkwardly, and then he opened his mouth to speak.

"Interesting choice, huh?" He asked. I sent him a glare.

"I didn't think this would be on it," I retorted. He gave me a 'yeah, sure' look, which pissed me off.

"Whatever," I mumbled. Then he got up and stretched. Without realizing what I was doing, I looked at his crotch and noticed the bulge. I averted my eyes back to the television screen where the scene had finally passed and was now transitioning to the next.

"I gotta go and do some thing. I'll be back in a bit," he said and then went in a direction that I didn't bother to look at. I sat there, watching a good 20 minutes of the movie before I remembered that Gerard still hadn't come back. Where had he gone anyways? I stood and looked around for a moment, before deciding to get a really good look at his home. I walked over to the cabinets and looked at all the pictures set in rather expensive looking frames. One was of him holding a little boy, and he was smiling happy, and the little boy looked to be laughing. Another was of him and a woman looking a little younger than him. They were hugging with both their arms around each, and they were facing the camera. She was very pretty and made me question Gerard's sudden interest in men and Ray of all choices. He was scum, but I guess to each their own. I moved on to the next and it was him with a group of people, looking around the same age, dressed in funny pretend clothing (I'm hoping) and making overly serious faces. I laughed at the ridiculous top hat, monocle, and fake handlebar mustache that Gerard had on, making him look like an asshole.

"I better find that dude. Did he actually leave the house?" I questioned out loud when I walked into his bedroom and saw the restroom light on. The last person to use it so far was me, so I must have left the light on. He's letting me stay here, so the least I could do was try to keep his bill down. I walked towards the restroom and quickly opened the door, to find that it wasn't empty. I looked toward the toilet and widened my eyes in shock. Gerard was sitting on the toilet with no pants and underwear on, which would've been understandable if he'd be using the latrine. But he was there, hand on himself, pumping his hand up and down, head back, mouth open and panting, eyes closed. I could only stand there in shock until he moaned loudly, bucking his hips. At that moment, I felt something land on my face and lips. I moved my hand to my cheek and instinctively licked my lips as Gerard finally open his eyes and noticed me. My mouth tasted bitter, and I instantly regretted my lip licking habit. He stared at me, eyes just as wide as mine.

Suddenly, he picked up his pants and boxers and stumbled over to me. My face twisted in disgust with the lasting bitter taste.

"Fuck. Oh, fuck, oh, fuck, oh fuck. Fuck me! Shit, Frank, I'm so fucking sorry! I don't even think an apology will even help, but fuck! I'm sorry!" He says, and suddenly he's wiping my face with something wet and I step back, and look at what he's holding. It's just a towel.

"I didn't think you were gonna come in! God, why did you come in?!" He yelled. His face was really red, probably because of both anger and embarrassment.

"I thought," I spoke, "I thought I left the light on from when I last went so I came to turn it off."  
"Are you okay?" He asked as he got on one knee beside me. It was then that I realized that I was on the floor. "I'm so sorry, Frankie. Really, I am. I didn't mean to, obviously. I mean, I didn't know you were going to just walk in," he rambled, head in his hands, clearly ashamed. I don't even know what to do in this situation.

"I think, maybe I should leave, Gerard..." Was all I could think to say.

"I'm so fucking sorry, Frank. But I understand if you want to leave," he answered. I got up and looked at my fingers, seeing that they're still slick with his semen, and quickly rub it off on the carpet next to me. I stand and walk into the latrine to wash my face thoroughly, trying to get every trace of Gerard off my face.

"I don't even know what to say, Gerard. I mean, I really don't know how to react," I tell him honestly.

"Well, you're being overly calm, don't you think?" He asked. I gave him a look.

"Do you want me to freak out?" I asked.

"Well, maybe that would be better."

"Well, fuck! I can't just," I sigh and calm myself, before starting to speak again, "me freaking out wouldn't get us anywhere," I finished.

"Frank, my... _stuff_... is on your fucking face and we weren't even doing anything! Obviously you freaking out would've been perfectly understandable, but you're calm! Almost like... you didn't mind it," he said slowly. I looked at him, anger should be evident on my face.

"What are you saying?" I asked. He shrugged his shoulders, and stepped back a little bit as I took a step forward.

"I'm saying that maybe you liked what just happened. I mean, it would explain why you're so calm," he said quietly as if he was telling me a dirty secret. I completely disregarded that statement and just brushed past him.

"I'm going to bed. We start the plan tomorrow morning, so just get rest and don't worry about anything. I'll make sure we have everything. Good night." Then I walked out of the latrine and started checking over the posters and deciding on where I was going to put them.

I decided to put on in every senior classes' whiteboard. Should be easy enough. Gerard is letting me borrow one of his hoodies on the off chance that one of the video cameras work in the school. I was almost shaking with excitement; Jealously will finally be away from Ray and then she can focus on who's been helping her the whole time: me. And Gerard can do whatever the hell he wants with Ray. I thought about the stupid look he has on his face whenever he's thinking about him. Like a puppy attached to their owner. I doubt Ray would be able to handle the pressure of dating a teacher.  
I pulled out my cell and sent Jealousy a message.

Me: _Hey, how are you? Just wanted to check._

I waited five minutes for her answer, but I never got one, so I just decided to get my bed on the couch ready. I found that doing stretches before sleeping on a piece of crap helps with back pain. I laid down and moved around until I got comfortable and stayed there. Then my phone vibrated.

Jealousy: _I'm fine. Thanks for checking in on me._

I dropped my phone beside me and just laid there staring at the ceiling for a few minutes. Then I bolted up, gasping almost.

I just had my teacher's fucking cum in my mouth and I think I liked it..


	14. Starting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eat ice cream while reading this. You'll thank me later <3 Also, Frank is a bit of a smartass, if you hadn't yet noticed.

Gerard and I woke up freakishly early. Well, maybe for him seeing as he looked like complete shit. i was used to waking up early so,I was fine. But his hair was standing up on one side, he had bags under his eyes, and he looked really pissed off. I almost felt bad for him, but then came to the conclusion that I really didn't care.

"Are you ready?" He asked me as we pulled up the the school.

"Obviously more than you are, bed head," I answered. He glared at me while giving me the finger.

"Fuck you."

"Yeah, you wish." Then I walked away, shutting the door behind me. I heard him drive off after the long muffled noise of what I could only assume was him cussing me out. I let myself smirk. He's more the kid than I am. I picked up the hood to the jacket Gerard gave me and searched for an open enterance. I knew one of the doors had to be open, because there was a janitor there around this time. The first door I tried open.

"Well, that was lucky," I mumbled as I quietly made my way inside. It was just me and this janitor inside. I had to be absolutely careful and avoid running into him or her. I quietly walked through the halls, avoiding making too much noise as I opened the door to the first senior classroom. It was pitch black, but I had packed a small light which gave me enough light, but it wouldn't be noticeable to anyone outside the room. I took it out and clicked it on, slipping it in my mouth to hold it between my teeth. I put all the posters down and only picked on back up. I unrolled it and taped it up in the center of the whiteboard. I picked the other posters back up and stood back to see how it looked. I almost smiled at how great it looked. I opened the door and was about to walk out before seeing the janitor there and quickly slipped back into the classroom. I waited for him to pass by, noticing that he had headphones on. They looked expensive, which only meant that he shouldn't be able to hear anything. After he passed, I opened the door and I could hear Tiny Dancer by Elton John playing. At least he has good taste, I thought before reassuringly walking to the next classroom. This continued until I was down to my last poster. I put one in every senior room and I wasn't sure where to put this one. Then I had an idea. I would put one on Jealousy's locker. I wanted to pat myself on the back for being so brilliant, but I just taped up the poster and almost ran back to where Gerard would be picking me up.

I looked at my watch and this all took about 45 minutes, just as we'd timed. I walked out into the parking lot and crossed the street where Gerard was waiting for me. As I approached the only car there, thinking it was Gerard's, the window rolled down and an unfamiliar voice spoke.

"How much?" The manly voice asked. I gave a confused look.

"I'm sorry?"

"How much for a good time?" They clarified. I looked down at myself and I was slightly offended and slightly flattered they thought I was a streetwalker.

I scoffed. "Sir, even if I were a prostitute, I'd be a high class whore, thank you very much." Then I started walking away.

"You little shit!" I heard him yell then get out the car. "Come back here, motherfucker!" I turned back to look at him and found him running towards me. I felt panic rising up and just as he was about to reach me, a figure ran ahead of me and punched him so hard that I heard a crack. I stared, wide-eyed, as the man's body hit the ground with a thud.

"Goddamn it, Frank, I knew your smart mouth was gonna get you in trouble one day!" Gerard yelled.

"I didn't know you had that in you, Gerard. My hero," I said that sarcastically.

"That mouth of yours is what got you in trouble in the first place. Don't push it," he laughed. He then grabbed my arm and pulled me towards his car which wasn't too far away.

"Did you actually watch me almost get picked up? Perv." He scoffed as he got in the car and then started it. I then got in the car as well.

"I just wanted to see how you'd react, really," he explained.

"Asshole. You were gonna let me get taken." I was slightly hurt. "I can't believe you would relieve yourself on me and then let me get taken by a pervert. I'm not your damaged goods." Then I crossed my arms.

"Whoa. Didn't have to go hardcore, Frankie. First of all, I didn't mean for... _that_ to happen; secondly, I did just save you from him; lastly, you're not my damaged goods, because you're not mine," he said nonchalantly. Silence filled the car ride until we pulled up to his place.

"Well, go get dressed for class and then I'll drop you off at the school in time for your bus ride." I walked up and waited for him to open the door. I took off his hoodie and suddenly felt cold, but I just dealt with it and got dressed in my uniform since there was a promotion ceremony today. I grabbed my garrison to turn in today since they're now considered put of regulation.

"Gerard, I'm ready!" I yelled out as I walked into his room. There he was, asleep. Under the blankets and everything. I glared at his sleeping figure as I walked up next to him. I looked at his face and his features looked smooth, he looked a lot younger with his face relaxed. Before I knew it, my face was only so many inches from his when my phone vibrated in my pocket. It was a slow vibration meaning in was from Jealousy. I sighed and checked it.

Jealousy: I don't think I'm coming to class.

I quickly sent a text back, kicking Gerard's bed to wake him, and then walking out as he got up, freaking out.

Me: There's promotions today. You're coming. We'll talk

"I'm ready. Also, Jealousy saw the posters, I think." He had a slight look of regret as he got up and straightened his clothes.

Jealousy: Okay.


	15. Day One

Gerard dropped me off a few minutes before my JROTC bus pulled into the lot. I smiled at the bus driver I'd grown to trust over the years despite him being a near old man.

"Hey there, Bart. Did you miss us?" I asked him. I asked him this every single time I got on the bus in the morning and each time, he would respond with a laugh and say,

"I sure did, Frank!" And I'd locate myself to the sit right behind him. All of my cadets thought I was weird for sitting all the way in the front, while they sat all the way towards the back. I had two very good reasons for doing this.

One: To talk to Bart more and show him that we cared about him a lot, even if the other didn't show it.

and two: because I watched him drive. On the off chance that something happens to Bart, I would know how to operate the bus and, so far, that's working out pretty well.

"How was your weekend?" I asked him over the roaring engine of the bus. We looked at each other through the mirror above him and he gave a little face.

"Eh, it was all right. Spent some time with the family, but for the next few days, I won't be here. My daughter is getting married so I'll be over there doing that. I'm proud," he answered.

"That's good. Family always comes first, right?" He nodded in response.

"Hey, Frank, is this everyone?" One of my cadets, Price, asked me. I looked around and I had no messages on my phone indicating a late cadet.

"Yeah. We're good to go, Bart. Let's head off." He smiled and closed the bus doors and drove away from the school. I looked back at Jealousy, who was sitting in the very back, and discovered that her face was red and streaked with the traces of dried tears. I pulled out my phone and sent her a text.

Me: _What happened?_

I looked over at her and watched as she pulled out her phone and looked up to meet my eyes. We shared a look before she broke contact and I felt my phone vibrate a few minutes later.

Jealousy: _Wait until we get back to school and you'll see why my morning has been really fucked up._

Me: _Did Ray do something again?_

Jealousy: _I don't think he hung the posters up, but he did kiss another girl._

Me: _What posters?_

Jealousy: _There are huge posters of him and another girl kissing in certain classrooms and one on my locker. I just... Why would he do that? I gave everything to him..._

Me: _What do you mean everything?_

Jealousy: _Frank, we had sex this past weekend... I gave him my virginity, and I feel so dirty and violated now._

I gave this some thought and sat back in my seat fully. I felt my jaw clench itself and didn't realize exactly how much my chest hurt until I found that it was hard to breathe. I forgot that I had to answer her text until I received a new message.

Jealousy: _I didn't want to tell you, because I know how... you feel.._

Me: _What do you mean?_

Jealousy: _I know you like me..._

I paused my movements and let my hand drop into my lap.

Me: _What makes you say that?_

Jealousy: _It was hard to tell at first, but I'm not completely blind.... I'm sure that if I had met you before Ray, I would definitely have dated you instead..._

I know what she's doing now. Rebound. I'm gonna have to become a fucking rebound. I scoffed and felt more than disappointment towards her.

Me: _Is that so?_

Jealousy: _Am I right?.. Do you... like me, Frank?_

I sighed and took a deep breath before typing out my answer.

Me: _Yes._

I'd never felt more disappointed in my life and I almost wanted to cry even, but I would never do that publicly.

Jealousy: _I just broke up with Ray. Do you... maybe want to hang out after school today?_

Me: _We'll talk in our next class. We're almost to the JROTC building, so just try to focus on that for now. We're doing an important orienteering lesson today._

Jealousy: _Okay._

I slid my phone into my backpack and let out a shaky breath. I wasn't expecting her to come for me so quickly. I'd have to tell Gerard that he had to come back early. Things were going to start happening now.

In the middle of class, when I allowed them to have a break, I spoke to First Sergeant and told him that I needed to make an emergency call, so I had to step out. I quickly dialed Gerard's number.

"Hello?" He answered groggily on the 5th ring. I knew he was going back to sleep. He could sleep a whole lot.

"So Jealousy already saw the posters. But a thing happened that I wasn't expecting," I trailed off.

"What?" He answered. He seemed more alert and very concerned that maybe we'd been caught.

"She just asked me out for after school today," I said. He was silent for a moment, before finally deciding to answer.

"Well, what does that mean for me?"

"She already broke up with Ray. You're gonna have to make a move now while he's still sensitive. Come back to work tomorrow, or, like, if I go out with her today, I'll make sure to pick a spot he passes by and maybe you can just "happen" to be there when he sees us," I explained.

"You sound very determined," he noted. I smirked.

"She told me that they had sex this weekend. He's been leading two girls on for who knows how long. I want to hurt him. You never lie. Never," I said through gritted teeth.

"I know you have terrible trust issues and that you really like her, but try not to get too reckless, all right?" He said with his concerned teacher voice. "So text me after this class, since I'm sure it's still JROTC for you, and we'll plan something for after school."

"Okay. Bye, Gerard," I said as I hung up. I turned around and walked back into the class, picking up the book I was working from. I grabbed a dry erase marker and went back up to the board.

"Okay, so, now that we've breaked for little, I expect you all to be in a great learning mood. All right, next we'll practice finding different coordinates on your own now. I'll give you the coordinates and you find them. First three to find them can be dismissed to their buses early," I explained and they cheered in response. I wrote down two coordinates.

1\. GL01973180

2\. GL0367865

"Okay, begin!" And then I walked around the room to look over them and see if anyone needed help. I felt like I was a decent teacher, but I could always be better. I want them to respect me and like me as well so they wouldn't give me too much hassle.

"Sir, I'm a little confused on how to find these coordinates." I looked over my shoulder to see a first year cadet sitting in his desk with his face red. I walked over to him and leaned over is desk to grab the paper he'd written the coordinates down on and then grabbed his pencil.

"Here, this will make it easier," I explained as I separated the number, making them easier to read. The whole class went by pretty smoothly and I dismissed the first three to finish to their buses 10 minutes before class ended. I had everyone in parade rest before dismissing them.

"On your feet," I commanded and they swiftly stood up, hands cuffed, back straight, and looking straight forward and keeping their bearings.

"Secure your gear." And they quickly picked up their bags and went back to sanding at attention.

"Alpha Company... Dis-miss!" I yelled.

"Hoo-ahh, Alpha!" They yelled and immediately began filing out.

As soon as we reached the bus, I greeted Bart and then pulled out my phone as I sat down.

Me: _Ray passes by this park on his walk home every day. Maybe she and I could hang out there._

I plugged in my earphone and turned on some Beatles. I found that they weren't so bad after hanging around Gerard for a little bit.

Gerard: _What the hell would I be doing by a park?_

Me: _Do you really want me to answer that?_

Gerard: _You're right. Don't._

Me: _Just go for a jog, or fast walk. Like you're working out or something._

Gerard: _Yeah, that'll probably work. So what time?_

Me: _I'm gonna talk to Jealousy about it, and then I'll let you know._

Gerard: _Okay._

I put my phone up just as the song Day Tripper began playing. I laughed a little. Ironic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback would be suuuuper awesome!  
> Also, to saratza, thanks for being amazing to me! <3


	16. Day One Part Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gerard is a jackass.

I was walking into my second period class when Jealousy pulled me aside, near the wall. I looked down at her, seeing as I was taller than her (thankfully) and she peered up at me.

"So, what do you say?" She asked. I knew she was obviously talking about hanging out after school. The thought immediately angered me, because I knew she didn't mean it. If anything, all it meant was that she still loved Ray and was willing to play with my feelings in order to try and get him back despite her breaking up with him on her own. I forced a nod.

"Yeah, sure. How about the park a few blocks away?" I asked. Though she and I knew I wasn't really asking her. I'm the man; therefore, I make the plans. That's the point of a date or whatever the fuck this was. I watched as her eyes lit up and she nodded her head excitedly. It was those little gestures of hers that made my heart almost flutter. Almost.

"So then, we'll meet up after out last period and head over there. Let's get to class. We're not meant to be late," I said. As "silly" as it sounded, I took JROTC very seriously. I was already planning to join the Army and work my way up to being an Army Ranger. I understood how emotionally and mentally tough you had to be, and, well, look at me. I have little to no emotion whatsoever so I was more than positive that I was fine. I turned my attention back to Jealousy and saw as she nodded and took off in the direction of our class, I followed behind their.

I pulled my phone out and sent Gerard a text.

Me: _We're going right after school. I'll be seeing you "working out" at around 3:50?_

As I walked into class, I felt my phone vibrate, but i didn't check it. After all, phones were only allowed during free time. I sat in Economics, taking notes as if my life depended on it. Truthfully, this stuff doesn't interest me. It's a complete turn off and it makes me want to die, really, but that's being over-dramatic.

"All right, class. Lesson is over. Do whatever for the next, what, um, 10 minutes. Just try and keep it to a dull roar, please? Thanks," the teacher spoke. He was a middle aged man, who was obviously hung over. Only thing he needed was the blank shades, but he didn't have those so he was suffering. That's an example of why you shouldn't drink. You end up feeling like shit, or worse... You end up with a kid you end up treating like shit. I sighed and took my phone out to see what Gerard said.

Gerard: _Why did you put quotations around working out? Are you implying that I don't regularly work out?_

I scoffed. He's such a baby. I started typing down my reply when Jealousy came up next to me.

Me: _Yes._

"Who's Gerard?" She asked as she peered over my shoulder. I put my phone up and thought over a lie.

"He's my uncle," I said.

"You text your uncle? That's weird," she laughed.

"If you think that's weird, then you're the weird one. Family is family." She sighed.

"Jeez, I was joking, Frank. Have you heard of those?" Great. Now she was mad for something she said. We stared at each other, having a silent battle when the door opened and everyone turned their direction over to that direction.

"Jealousy, we need to talk." It was Ray. I shot him a glare and he shot me one back.

"No, we don't. Besides, I'm with Frank now. So leave me alone,"she told him. Wait... what? Together? I don't remember asking her out. I quickly looked over at her as she took my hand in hers and smiled at me.

"You're dumping me for him?" He asked as if it was the hardest thing to believe, ever. I rolled my eyes at him.

"It would certainly be an upgrade," she retorted. Everyone in the class had to throw in their two cents by screaming "burn!"

"Damn, Ray! Get ditched!!" One kid yelled. I bit down a laugh. Ray didn't say anything, but instead looked at me and gave me a look that I knew all too well.

"Whatever," then he walked out, leaving the class in complete silence. Jealousy tightened her grip around my hand.

"We're dating?" I asked her. She shyly looked up at me and nodded her head.

"You said you wanted to hang out," she explained. I raised my brow because I was positive that that wasn't how people started dating. I suddenly felt uncomfortable with her hand over mine and I moved it away from hers. I felt uncomfortable and I didn't know why.

Three class periods had gone by since then and it was about to be 6th period. English class. The class I had with Ray, and I was curious about what he was going to do.I'd been texting Gerard and telling him about everything, but I still hadn't told him about Me and Jealousy and whatever it is that we have.

Me: _Jealousy and I are dating now._

I sent it and waited for his response. He responded quicker than usual.

Gerard: _You asked her out? This quickly?_

Me: _No. She said when I agreed to hang out, that I was basically saying yes to dating her._

Gerard: _I really don't think it works that way.._

I sighed and felt really discontent with how things were going.

Me: _Exactly what I thought. Are we getting together after me and Jealousy are doing hanging out?_

The bell rang and Gerard still hadn't answered me as I walked into English. But then I knew why.

"Gerard?" I asked. He was sitting at his desk. His normally long black was now a short 50's style cut (see Ghost of You :D). He looked up at me.

"It's Mr. Way to you, um... Frank," he said, "why are you in here so early?" He looked angry, which only made me more hostile towards him.

"I guess you never notice that I'm always the first one in here since you're always looking at You Know Who," I argued. I don't get why everyone loves that son of a bitch anyways.

"Shut your mouth and just take your seat." Was all he said. Being the forever committed cadet I was, I did as I was told. I don't know what the fuck crawled up his ass and died, but he shouldn't direct it towards me. I sat in my desk with my arms crossed over my chest and waited until the class started gracing us with their presence. I looked back at Gerard and he kept his eyes focused on the papers he was sorting and didn't even look at me when he did finally look up.

"Okay, class. I want everyone to pass up the essays I'm sure all of you have been able to complete about 20 times over by now. There are no excuses," he explained with a cheerful smile. As if he wasn't pissy with me a couple of minutes ago. The class groaned. I saw a girl raise up her hand.

"Yes?" Gerard asked her.

"I like your haircut," she said shyly. I rolled my eyes. He smiled happily.

"Thanks! I didn't know if it went well with me or not, but... I decided to take a chance," he explained.

"You would look good bald," another girl replied. I bit down on my lip. I don't get why those girls were always all over his dick, but whatever. It doesn't concern me.

"Frank, do you have your essay?" I looked up and Gerard was standing right in front of me with other papers he'd already picked it up.

"I turned it in on the first day, sir, so it should be on your desk," I said, clearly emphasizing that word to piss him off. I bit down harder on my lip.

"I went through everything up there, but I didn't see anything. You have until the end of the class period to complete it with an extra page included as interest," he said curtly, walking away. I glared up at him.

"You're punishing me because you don't know how to look for things?" I said before I could stop myself. I saw him pause in his step and turn back to me.

"Excuse me, Mr. Iero, but it wasn't up their. Feel free to look yourself, or just accept the punishment and write three pages. It's up to you. I don't care what you do." Then he continued picking up papers. The class was sudden't silent and everyone was looking at us both. They thought he was talking about the essay, but there had to be a deeper meaning in those words. Without realizing, I saw blood drop on my my desk and I reached up to my lip. There was blood on my fingers and I could taste it now; I'd bitten my lip a little too hard. Gerard walked past me and glanced at me, but then fully turned to me. He sighed and handed me a box of tissues, but I just shifted away from him and held my sweatshirt to my mouth.

"Just take the damn tissues," he muttered.

"I have an essay to do, Mr. Way. Please stop interrupting me," I said coldly as I pulled my journal out. I pulled out a pen from my pocket and got to writing. My first essay was only a page and a half; how the hell was I supposed to make it three now? He's such an asshole. Fine. I'll do exactly what I said I would and make it so cheesy that he would puke. I started writing the title angrily.

 _The One and Only Time I Was on the Titanic_ , I titled it. I almost wanted to add _By Fall Out Boy_ at the end. He wanted three pages? With this title alone, I could write him a fucking book so someone could make a movie about it in their garage.

_I came from a poor family as anyone around me could tell. I was considered rowdy because I knew had to live and didn't have a silver spoon up my ass despite being curious and smart enough to make something of myself. My close friend and I were gambling in this little rundown tavern looking thing, and things were getting intense. He put in everything he had, especially these tickets that had the word Titanic printed on them. I'd heard of that. It was this really big ship and it was set to sail to New York later today. I knew I had to win those tickets and make something of myself in America._

I kept writing and writing until I heard the bell ring. I looked over at how many pages I'd written so far and it was about five. I smirked and put my name on it. I walked up to his desk and stapled it. Only he and I were in the room and he watched as i tossed it on his desk in front of him.

"The One and Only Time I Was on the Titanic? Are you serious, Frank? This is bullshit," he said and tossed it back at me.

"Beggars can't be choosers, Mr. Way. I'll see you after school." Then I slung my backpack over my shoulder and walked out of his classroom. I would be lying if I said that I wasn't sure I heard a crash come from his room, because I was positive that I did. I walked into the restroom to look at my lip and saw that it stopped bleeding, but the dried blood on my lip looked disgusting. I leaned over the sink to wash my mouth when someone pushed me, causing my to hit my head on the faucet. I didn't even need to look to know how it was.

"Ray." I said. I turned around he was glaring at me just as intensely as he always did whenever he would beat me up.

"Stay away from my girlfriend, you piece of shit. She doesn't want you!" He said as he gripped my by my collar. I watched as my uniform was bunched up in his fists and I tried pulling him off for the sake of saving it, but he was stronger than me.

"If you didn't notice earlier, it was her telling you about she and I. I didn't say a single word. So it's quite clear that she does want me," I said harshly. His grip tightened and I grew angrier.

"Do I have to teach you another lesson, punk?"

"The only thing you've taught me was how how to be an R. Kelly victim!" I growled. I'm sick and tired of his torment.

"Then I'll give you the same lesson this time again." He dropped my on the floor and bent over to punch me in the jaw. Because I was so close to the floor and his punch had so much power behind it, I guess I hit my head on the floor and knocked out because everything went black. One day... I swear, I'm going to kill him...

I woke up later in the nurse's office I'm assuming. I turn my head to the side and I see Gerard sitting there, reading a book. He looks over at me and smiles.

"How you feeling there?" He asked. I looked down at myself and noticed my uniform was stained yellow and I think my hair as well, because it was so close to my nose.

"What are you doing here?" I asked him, completely ignoring his question. I was still pissed at how he talked to me earlier and I wasn't going to let that go anytime soon. I know I was an asshole, but I know he knew when I was teasing him. And I was not teasing him right now.

"I found you on the restroom floor and brought you here. Had I known you had piss on you, I would've kicked you over here," he said as he closed his book and put in down on his lap.

"What's your problem?" I asked. "I'm getting real sick and tired of how you're talking to me." I glared at him and he kept his face straight.

"You're my problem. You think you're so desirable. You think everyone wants you. Grow up," he said angrily.

"Me grow up? I'm not the one getting mad at a student for something as shallow as ego," I said back. I got off the bed and stumbled a little, because I was feeling a little lightheaded and then regained composure. I walked towards the door, but then stopped.

"I thought I could trust you, but I'm glad you proved me wrong before I made that mistake." Then i walked out, slamming the door behind me. I didn't know where my backpack was and I didn't care. There was nothing important in there anyways. I pulled out my phone and check the time. 3:40. Five minutes until the last bell. I wandered around the halls until the bell rang and I met Jealousy at the side entrance that leads to the park and we started walking. I noticed the expression on her face as I came into her view, but I gave her a look and she didn't ask. I also noticed her covering her nose, but I pretended not to notice and we continued walking. It was five minutes later that we arrived at the park. We sat there in silence for a while before she spoke.

"Who did that to you?" She finally asked. I wished she was a little like Gerard and didn't ask no matter how much she wanted to know.

"Please, leave it be." Was all I said and we stopped talking again. A few moments later, I saw Ray walking down the road. We were in plain view and I didn't know if Jealousy had seen him until she grabbed my hand and held it tightly and then laughed even though nothing was funny. I looked over and saw Ray looking at us, and he started walking towards us, with determination. I was sure he was going to punch me until Gerard stepped in his way. I was shocked because I didn't think he was still going to go along with the plan. He was dressed completely different. He was in shorts, a muscle shirt, and he had these black Nike running shoes on; he looked so different and I still wasn't used to his short hair which threw me off even more. I could barely hear his words.

"Ray, it's not worth it." He means I'm not worth it.

"Let's go for a walk, okay? We'll talk about it." He means he loves you and wants to be with you.

"Come on," he said as he put his hand on Ray's back and took him walking in the other direction. I looked away and then stood up from the bench we were sitting on.

"Frank?" Jealousy asked.

"I need to go home and change. I'm sorry. I'll see you tomorrow..." I said as I walked away from her. I just wanted to be alone, and I knew the perfect place to do that. Home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback appreciated! Thanks, saratza!


	17. Day One Part Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gerard is confusing.

I couldn't understand the feeling I felt as I walked home. Gerard was being really strange, and it was really pissing me off; I couldn't even ask him, because it's none of my business. I walked until I came into view of my home and stopped, just staring at it with disgust. My parents would be home later tonight, but I didn't want to think of it.  
I walked into my home and walked up stairs without bothering to look around. I knew what was there. There was no difference this time around. I stripped off my uniform and neatly folded it to carefully iron it later. I sighed as I stepped into the shower and basically scrubbed until my skin was red. I just wanted to get the smell off of every part of me and God knows what else he did after he'd knocked me out, and I didn't want to think about that either. I guess there was a bunch of things I didn't want to think about today. I sat in the way too big tub and just stared at the ceiling for a good while before my phone started blasting out some generic calling ringtone. I moved over in the tub and grabbed my phone.

"Hello?" I spoke.

"Mr. Way, where are we going?" I heard a voice say. It sounded like Ray. There's no one else who sounded like him. I stayed silent. This wasn't a pocket dial, this was intended for a reason.

"We're just walking, really. I find it helps clear your mind," Mr. Way responded. I rolled my eyes and rested my chin on my hand.

"Yeah, I think it does, too. Listen, um, I'm going through some things, so I haven't been able to write the essay, but I'll get it in to you as soon as possible."

"Well, I saw the posters, and I understand. How about I just give you a 100 and you don't have to worry about it?"

"You'd really do that?" Ray asked. I rolled my eyes once again. I swear I hold the record for the most times someone's rolled their eyes.

"Of course. And if you ever need time to think or something of the sort, feel free to use my classroom. An empty classroom and walking nowhere in particular are the best types of therapy. At least, in my opinion," Gerard explained.

"Wow, thanks, Mr. Way. You're really awesome. Why were you gone last week, if you don't mind me asking?" I heard Gerard chuckle and I was tempted to as well, because I knew the reason.

"Well, I was having some personal problems, so I needed some time away."

"What was that problem?" Jeez, he was nosy. There was a pause and part of me really hoped that was Gerard thinking about telling him.

"I found myself attracted... to a student..." He said hesitantly. There was a long pause and I thought he hung up the phone, but found he didn't.

"Wow, really? I honestly wasn't expecting that. Who's the girl?" Ray asked. He was surprisingly calm about it. Yet, so was I.

"Guy, actually. I'm gay," Gerard confessed. Well, I thought he was just bi. I didn't think he was fully gay.

"That's a surprise, but I can see that now, yeah."

"Really? How so?"

"Well, you have a lot of sass, Mr. Way," he laughed.

"You can call me Gerard here, but yeah. I guess I do," he laughed too. I froze. He's allowing that jackass to call him by his actual name? Fuck that.

"Gerard? That's your first name? So generic," he teased.

"Hey, Ray is an original name, too! Don't be judging my name." Ray laughed his choppy and somewhat squeaky laugh and it suddenly brought unwanted memories back. Memories of him hovering over me with a smile on his face, and I wanted to slap myself for remembering such a horrific thing.

"You're pretty funny, Gerard. This guy you're crushing on is pretty lucky," he flirted. What. How does shit like that just fucking fall into place? I felt my heart sink to my stomach and I felt like throwing up. I hung up the phone and threw it into the bedroom, hard. It hit the wall and fell on my bed.

Screw Mr. Way.

Screw Ray.

Screw Jealousy.

Screw Everyone.

I let the tub drain as I grabbed a towel and angrily dried myself off. I realized I left my things at Mr. Way's house. I better get them before he invites Ray in and he sees them and has a shit fit. I got dressed in my running clothes to go for a run while I was at it, since I have done it in a few days, and ran out the door. I never both to lock it. People can take whatever they want, my parents will only replace it. I jogged down the road to warm myself up before taking off in a full run to Mr. Way's place. The more I thought about what Ray and Mr. Way were talking about, the angrier I felt. Why? Why am I so pissed off? This is what I wanted, wasn't it? That was the whole point of everything I did. I did it for Jealousy, for myself, and, to a point, Mr. Way himself, so why do I feel so... jealous? I don't like him, because I can't. I don't want to be near him right now because I can't. I don't want to see him, because I can't. I don't want to relive what happened in the latrine, because I can't. Moreover, it isn't right. I'm not the one he has his eyes on and same goes for me. My eyes are, well... were on Jealousy until I figured out she wanted to use me, so who are my eyes on?...

At that moment, Mr. Way came into my view. Alone. And I was confused all over again. I stopped running as he looked in my direction. I came to a stop right in front of him and we stared at each other for a while before I started walking up to his door. I stepped aside and let him unlock his front door and I followed in there after him. I walked to the corner I left everything and started packing it up. From the corner of my eyes, I could see Mr. Way staring at me and I turned to meet his gaze. We stayed there like that for a while before I finally zipped up my bag and stood.

"Do you need a ride?" He asked as I got to the front door. His voice seemed hesitant. I didn't want the ride, not at all.

"Yes," I answered before realizing. He gave me a small smile, that I didn't return and I followed him out to his car. I wanted to ask him what happened with Ray, but I refrained from doing so. It'd only show him I was interest. As he started the car, the Beatles blasted through the speakers and I smiled. I know I did, because my face hurt. I wasn't used to it and Mr. Way just looked over at me and smiled, too. We were silent the whole way to my house and that was fine. I wasn't really much of a talker, but I was certainly surprised that Mr. Way never said anything. As he pulled into my driveway, I opened the door. I was half way out when I turned back to him and gave him a certain look I hoped he could read. After all, he'd found out a lot about me within the past few days and seemed to understand. My thoughts were confirmed when he opened his mouth to speak.

"You're welcome," he said as I closed the door. I walked back up into my house and I tried not to turn around, because I knew he wasn't there, but I still did it anyways. But there he was. With the window rolled down, waiting for me to go inside with a smile on his face. I walked inside feeling different. I was still pissed off at him for treating me the way he did, but... he cares and I hadn't really felt care in such a long time. I didn't want to let go of it, but he doesn't need me anymore. We'll just go back to being student and teacher, but I was thinking that maybe we'd become friends along the way; however, that was proved wrong. A big part of me wanted to know what he meant when he said I was his problem, but I don't think I'll be getting that answer soon, if at all.

It's fine, right? It was nothing but professional, except for all the teasing, staying at his house, having a family night, him pleasuring himself on me, the debates on which older cartoon series was better, and finally the "fight" which wasn't really a fight. Maybe it was just a lack of communication. My head is hurting with trying to get everything in my mind in order. I'll think about it another day.

I was alone for a few hours, no surprise there, but then my parents came home. I peeked out my door and was shocked by their appearances. They looked like shit. I opened the door to my room, fully exposing myself to them for the first time in months. They both turned to look at me.

"Hey, dear. We're home. Now who's this friend you were staying with?" My mother asked. My father just stared me down. He hated that I was in JROTC, but he never did anything about it. Maybe I wanted him to. I wanted him to react to it, because he never did shit for me.

"Not important. I'm enlisting in the Army tomorrow, Infantry. I'm already 18. After I graduate, I'll put my things in a storage and leave them there until I get out of basic. We won't have to see each other ever again. Sound good?" I told them. They were silent for a while.

"We won't let you do that," my father said. Doesn't matter. Whenever they leave for another meeting God knows where, I'll go then. It doesn't have to be tomorrow.

"If you say so. By the way, you both look terrible." Then I slammed the door in their faces and locked it. I plugged in my headphones and blasted the Beatles as I drifted off to sleep. The last song I remember playing was Yesterday. Funny.


	18. Day Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shit is getting serious :))

"All right, guys. Good run. No stopping, keep walking and go drink some water," I told my cadets. Cadet Challenge was coming up and they needed to be ready. Today we did the mile and tomorrow we would do push ups and sit ups.

On the bus ride back, I avoided listening to the Beatles, because they reminded me about Mr. Way too much and I couldn't handle that. I was excited about my day because I was going to enlist and see what day I could be sent to basic. We had a pop quiz in Economics that day, which I'm positive I aced since I actually study every night before bed despite how much it made me want to slam my head into a desk until I was dead. I'd seen Mr. Way throughout the day, but I tried not to look at him no matter how much I wanted to see if he looked the same way I felt: like shit. I didn't want to see him at all today because I knew he looked completely fine, and that thought itself nearly ruined my day. I hated the way he was making my chest hurt, and Jealousy wasn't making it any better. Everytime she was near me, I knew it was because Ray was around. Couldn't she at least make it more inconspicuous? I mean, for the love of everything, I'm not an idiot. But it was like she wanted me to know and didn't exactly care for how I used to feel about her. When I thought about it, her and Ray were perfect for each other.

"Frank, what are you doing here?" I snapped out of my thoughts and I found myself standing in front of the person I wanted to avoid. Of course this shit would happen.

"Nothing. I was lost in thought and ended up here," I said. He looked at me with this certain gleam in his eyes.

"Well, I'm glad you came here." I felt myself perk up at his words and I wanted to scold myself.

"I have your movies here. I numbered them on what order to watch them," he said as he pulled out a pastic bag. I took it from him and looked at it. I thought we were going to watch this movies together, but he's just like my parents and fillled with nothing but empty promises.

"Thanks, Mr. Way."

"What happened to calling me by my first name?" I wanted to jump kick him in the throat for just saying to me.

"You told me that I have to call you Mr. Way from now on. Okay, what is your deal? One moment you're fine, next you're all pissed off at me and then your fine again? Don't play around with me like that..." I said. I watched as he got up from his seat and walked over to me. I was expecting him to hit me, but not hug me so tight that I struggled to breathe.

"I'm going to be honest with you, Frank, and you can handle this news how ever you want to." I stayed in his embrace because it seemed like he wasn't going to let go of me soon.

"I feel very... jealous about your relationship. I don't know what it is. I still like Ray, but I enjoy being with you a lot more. I don't know what to and so I got mad. I'm really sorry, Frankie," he,explained. I pushed him away by his abdomen and stepped back.

"You shouldn't say that to me. I'm not... I can't..." Then I turned away and walked out of the classroom.

"Frank, wait!" I stopped walking and he ran into me as soon as I turned around.

"Oh, shit. I didn't think you were going to stop. I'm glad though," he laughed. I kept looking at him, waiting to see what he was going to say.

"I'm sorry. I wasn't expecting you to stop, so I'm not really prepared for anything. Listen, text me, okay?" He said. I just walked away again since he wasn't going to stop me. I pulled out my phone and sent him a message.

 

Me: _Explain, assface._

I pocketed my phone and walked to my 5th period class. I didn't know explactly what to think about what he told me, but I couldn't deny the feeling of happiness that I kind of felt. Though, that soon disappeared when Ray cornered me. 

"Hey, Frank~" he sang. I hated when he did that. It always reminded me of shit I wanted to have forgotten long ago. 

"We need to talk, Ray. About us." Then he gave me a serious look. We've avoided this for over three years. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again, S! Feedback would be sexy <33


	19. I'm Leaving

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Frank's come to terms and Gerard is getting there

Ray's face softened as he realized what I was saying. It'd been so long since I'd seen that certain look in his face, and a huge part of me really did miss it. I felt my phone vibrate against my leg, but I avoided it. Mr. Way could wait. This is something that I have to get passed if I'm going to leave this place and person behind me.

"It's been," Ray paused, "a while, hasn't it?" he asked hesitantly. I stepped closer to him, never breaking eye contact with him as I grabbed his hand and held it tightly.

"Listen, Ray," I said. He didn't try to pull his hand away and I was really grateful.

"I haven't seen you so relaxed in a long time, Frankie," he spoke, ignoring the sentence I'd started.

"After you left me, I didn't want just anyone in my heart. But Ray, look-"

"You're still as beautiful as you've always been."

"Don't say that to me, Ray!" I yelled. I threw his hand down. He took hold of my shoulders and shook me slightly. It was the same thing he used to do when he needed to get a point across to me.

"Frank! It may not mean anything now, but I still love you. This whole time I was with Jealousy, I really wanted to be with you," he said as he held onto my shoulder tighter.

"You lost the right to feel that way whenever you took a shit on my heart!" I hissed. Then he did something I'd been dying for him to do since he ripped us apart; he kissed me. Hard. I relaxed against him before pushing him back.

"And what about that bullying shit? Huh? Why did you do that to me? You loved me? You wanted to be with me this whole time? Just shut your mouth! You made your choices, so now you deal with the consequences..." I said. We stood there for a long while before I opened my mouth to speak again. "I'm enlisting in the Army today, Ray. After we graduate, I won't have to see you anymore. I won't have to see anyone from this town ever again."

Then I walked passed him and into the separate school building. He wouldn't follow me. He knew he didn't have the right to, and that's something that's always stopped. It's something that has always been his problem. I kept walking and didn't turn back, because, if I knew him as well as I used to, he was still standing there, looking back at me. I walked into the latrine and locked it behind me. I knewit was unsanitary, but I still sat down on the little shower seat they had in there for the kids who were taking mechanics and needed to wash up. Nobody ever used it, and by how rusty it was, it'd been this way since they built this little building behind the school about 10 years ago.

I leaned back against the wall and stared at the white painted wall across from me, outlining the chips in the paint, hoping to distract myself. I lost that battle when I felt the overwhelming feeling I hadn't felt since Ray told me he didn't want to be together anymore. This time I felt the tears come out, and they burned my skin like fire. I tried wiping them away, but more continued to fall and all I was doing was spreading my tears. I finally gave up and just let them fall.

"Stop it," I whispered. "Stop crying."

_But I still love you_ , "Shut up."

_You're still as beautiful as you've always been_ , "Stop it."

_The whole time I was with Jealousy, I really wanted to be with you._

_Frankie, come on! The comic book shop is going to close soon!_ I laughed.

_Frankie, look, I love you. Let's go out._

_I really want to kiss you, Frank. Can I?_

_Baby, you look so fucking beautiful on top of me like that, mm.._

_Frank, can you believe we're about to be freshman?_

_A-ah, Frank, yes. Just like that... Your mouth feels so good..._

I bit my lip, trying to forget everything.

_Hey, I met this cool girl at the park. She's going to be going to the same school as us! You gotta meet her! Her name is Jealousy. Weird, right?!_

_Sorry, I can't hang out today. I promised Jealousy that I would take her to the comic book store._

_Sorry, I'm hanging out with Jelly today._

I covered my ears. Stop it!  
 _  
Fuck, yes, Jealousy- Fuck! I'm sorry, Frank. I was just distracted..._

_Look, I think we should break up. It was good while it lasted, but I really like Jelly and I want to be with her. You understand, right?_

"Shut the fuck up!" I yelled. Then I finally heard the banging on the door and a voice yelling through the door.

"Frankie! Open up!" It was Mr. Way's voice. I slowly got up and opened the door, automatically unlocking it. I came face to face with a worry-faced teacher. He quickly came up to me and wrapped his arms around me. "Frank, who were you talking to?" He asked quietly. I felt fresh tears coming out, but I didn't bother to wipe them away.

"I was talking to myself. That's all," I said back. He held me tighter.

"Why didn't you tell me you were in love with Ray?" He asked.

I froze. "You heard that? All of it?"

"Yeah," he whispered. I stepped away from him, but he wasn't letting go.

"Mr. Way, everything is messed up. Jealousy is using me as a rebound, which makes me dislike her very much, you told me that you were jealous of my almost non-existent relationship, and Ray told me he still loves me. I just want it all to stop. Please, make it stop," I said as I felt my mind going almost weightless.

"Frank? Frank! Stay up, come on. Let's try to get you to the nurse," he said as he looked into my eyes.

"Today was supposed to be the second best day of my life... " I didn't want to explain more. I wasn't going to tell him I was going into the Army until I had my basic date, because if he, for some reason, seemed like he didn't want me to go, I would probably stay. I wasn't stupid, I knew I had a soft spot for Mr. Way. I knew he had one for me. But we both knew there was nothing we could do about it. That was life. After I left, I wouldn't see him again. He'd keep teaching here and I would never come back. I looked into his eyes as he was focused in front of us, trying to get me to the nurse's office. I would miss him; there wasn't any doubt about that. I'd said that I was grateful that I stopped myself from trusting him before it happened, but I really didn't. I trusted him after he never spoke of what happened that first night during the storm.

He looked back at me. "What is it? Do you feel fine?" I looked for too long. I just nodded and he bit back a question.

"Mr. Way, we graduate in less than five months... What will you do when we leave?" I asked. It was stupid for me to think this way. I thought I'd hidden this insecure, attention-seeking, vulnerable, immature self behind when Ray left me.

"Well, I'll probably stay here. Continue teaching."

"What about Ray?"

"Well, we'll have to see what happens before graduation," he responded. During the rest of my time here, I needed to get away from everyone. I need to focus on school and training for basic. I need to be my absolute best or I'd never leave this small town.

 

"What about you? What will you do?" He asked me. I wasn't expecting him to ask me back, but it only made sense.

"I'm not sure. I'll probably go to a university far away from here," I spoke. I watched his facial expression, trying to catch a look of discontent anywhere, but never found one. I was broken from my thoughts when Mr. Way started singing Something by the Beatles. I felt that he started singing this song for a deeper reason than the fact that it was an amazing song, but I ignored it instead. I didn't want to think about it. We finally pulled up to the nurse's office, but it was locked and she wasn't there. I sighed in relief as the rang and we walked to his classroom since I had him next. But I also had Ray. I don't think I could face him.

"Are you going to be okay going to class?" He asked me.

"I'll be fine. Just teach a good lesson. Oh, also, about the essay..?"

"I passed you. I found the other one, but both got an A+, smartass," he laughed. I chuckled and we went inside the classroom and waited for the other teenagers to come in. Surprisingly, Ray was one next one to come in. He came right up to me and punched me in the face, knocking me out of my seat. I held my jaw as pain shot through it. I spit up blood, but I just looked up at him.

"Fuck you," he said through his teeth. I stared him.

"You already did," I spat. He fucked me in more ways than one.

"Mr. Toro, leave my room, please," Mr. Way said. His voice sounded strained, like he was in a lot of pain. Ray didn't argue, he just turned away and left quietly.

"All those other things that happened to you... It was him, wasn't it?" He asked as he got up and walked over to me.

"Yeah," I said softly. He kids started coming in and they all stared at me. I leaned in closer to Mr. Way. "Is it noticeable?" I asked him.

"Uh, yeah. Frank, it looks pretty bad. Step out." I nodded and picked up my bag, and heading out the door. I sat out in my thinking place and pulled out my phone. I had a message, that's right. It was from Mr. Way. I looked at it and wanted to throw my phone at the wall.

Gerard: _I think I hold something for you._

I put the message in my spam box and put my phone away. i was just going to act like I never got that message. I'll just continue on. After all, I'm changing my life after school.

I spent the rest of the day going to my other classes and avoiding Mr. Way's classroom. He texted me asking if I was okay and then texted me again asking if I wanted a ride home. I didn't answer. I walked my way to my Army recruiters office and signed some papers. Everything was passing by in a blur and I couldn't even think straight.

"The day you go to basic will be exactly 6 months from now. June 26. Are you ready to serve your country, Mr. Iero?" He asked. He looked proud of me. It's what I imagine my father's face would have looked like.

"Yes, Office Greene. You won't be disappointed." Then we shook hands and I left. This is it. I'm officially leaving. There's no backing out now. Not when I've come this far. I look out at the view I have of my town...

"I'm leaving."


	20. On A Jet Plane

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gerard gets emotional and Oedipus is a fucked up story.

I took the bus home that day and sat on the right side so I could look out at the fading day. I felt my phone vibrate continuously, and I figured it was my mother so I picked it up.

"Yes, mother?" I spoke harshly.

"Wow," a deep voice responded. It was Mr. Way. I pinched the bridge of my nose for being so careless. I let out a deep sigh.

"Yes?" I asked. He was silent for a while.

"Am I bothering you?" He asked. His voice had a little tone to it. "Well, I just wanted to ask if you got my earlier text?"

"No," I lied.

"Oh, okay. That's probably a good thing, then." We stayed silent for a while.

"Do you wanna have dinner together?" He asked me.

"Uh, why?"

"Well, since you've been gone, I've been really lonely and I've been cooking twice as much food by accident, so would you like to?" He asked. I really thought about it, and I did miss his cooking. My parents didn't cook and so I had to cook myself. It gets really tiring. I knew it was a bad thing to do, but I felt I had to.

"Yeah, sure."

"Okay. I'm on my way now. I was already in my car."

"Mr. Way-"

"Gerard, asshole." I sighed, but hid a smile.

"Gerard, I'm not at home. I'm on a bus there right now. I was in town doing something, so i'll be home in maybe 20 minutes. I'm not sure. I've never taken a bus before," I explained calmly. Well, now I've gotten myself scared.

"How do you not know?" He asked. Okay, tell me the next place you're about to pass. Like a big store or something." I looked around and saw a Wal-Mart coming up on the left. What?

"I think I went the opposite way, because I don't remember seeing a Wal-Mart on my way here." I think I was going to hyperventilate.

"Shit, Frankie, you went to the town, like, 15 minutes away. Get off at the next stop and text me what it is. I'm on my way. Stay there," he said. It was starting to get dark and this was a bad place. God, why do I have be such a horrible fucking movie? At the next stop, five minutes after passing Wal-Mart, I rushed off, thanking the driver and taking a seat on the bus bench. I pulled out my phone and sent Gerard a text.

Me: _I'm a bus stop between fifth and sixth street, about five minutes from Wal-Mart. It's getting really dark..._

Of course I wouldn't admit it, I was really afraid.

Gerard: _I'm almost there. Sit tight. If someone tries talking to you, ignore them or go into the nearest store and hid in there._

Me: _Please hurry._

I'm sure he knew I was really scared right now and that reassured me that he really knew me. But I can't do this. I can't let him know any more about me, or I'll try to stay on contact with him after I graduate and go to basic. I sat there for five more minutes before I noticed a man walking his huge dog. He looked at me and we made eye contact for a split second before I looked away, not wanting to draw attention to myself.

"Hey, kid. What are you doing out here? It's dangerous," he said. He's voice was deep, but had a slight pitch to it. I looked up at him, raising my eyebrow.

"Then why are you walking your dog?" I asked.

"Well, I have a huge ass dog to protect me. But who do you have?" He asked. He took a seat beside me, but kept a good distance from me. Like enough distance to show we were strangers, but were in a conversation.

"I have someone coming for me," I said.

"I see. I guess I'll stay with you then so Oedipus will protect us both." I snapped my head towards him.

"Is there a story of why he's named that?" I asked. I was really curious.

"Well, I really like the story," he confessed.

"The story of the young man falling in love with his mother, killing his father, having sex with his mother and then going on to killing her, ripping his eyes out, and finally killing himself?" I wanted to be sure, because that's sick.

"Yeah, that one."

"That's super fucked up, sir," I chuckled out. I felt my phone vibrate and I took it out. The screen lit up my face in the dark.

Gerard: _I'm down the road. I see the bus stop._

"You know you're pretty good looking. How about we get to know each other better?" The man asked. He sounded young enough, but I couldn't see him face, I could only help, but wonder if he looked like a pervert.

"You really like the story Oedipus, so I'm sorry, but no thanks. And I'm 14." At that moment, I noticed Gerard's car pull up so I stood up.

"See you," I said as I walked away and opened the car door.

"How much?" Gerard asked as he eyes me up and down.

"Shut your face," I laughed. "I'm too much for you anyways." He laughed this time and we drove off. The car ride was as silent as it always was before Gerard began to speak.

"So, it makes sense that you would take the wrong the bus," he stifled a laugh. I shot him a glare that I'm sure he could feel if he couldn't see it.

"If looks could kill, huh? So what were you doing over here anyways?" He asked. I tensed up. I shouldn't tell him yet, but I really wanted to.

"I was just walking without having a place to go, is all." I lied again. I was messing up my Cadet Creed already. I'd been faithful to it for such a long time and I'm throwing it away to lie to Gerard.

"So what are we having for dinner?"

"Ah, I'm making burgers. With fries. The usual fattening shit. Which you need, by the way. You are way too skinny. Start working out or something." I rolled my eyes.

"You're one to talk, you fucking twig," I scowled. He just laughed in response. The rest of the drive was silent, nothing but the slight sound of the Beatles best hits album playing. I swear, he was obsessed, but I couldn't blame him because I realized they were so good. Soon enough, we arrived at his house and got out the car after finishing up the song Ticket to Ride.

"So, did you wanna help me make them?" He asked. I shook my head.

"But I do wanna watch. I've always had this little, like... dream, I guess you could say, to watch someone cook for me as if they were my parents or something. The first time I actually ate a good home cooked meal was the first night I stayed over here. It was really warm and nice," I explained. He nodded in understanding, and then smiled sweetly.

"I'm really glad I could give you a family night."

"Speaking of which, look," I said as I grabbed my backpack, opened it and pulled out the bag of DVD's he gave back to me. "Let's finished the Wizard of Oz?" I asked. I pulled it out and held it up for him to see. A huge grin spread across his face and I smiled back. I popped in the DVD and started the movie over from where we left off.

"Right here?" I asked. I paused it when Auntie Em was walking away from her.

"Yeah, she was just about to sing the famous song Over the Rainbow!" He was way too excited for his, but whatever. I watched the movie and whenever the song came up, Gerard sang his heart out and I hide a smile behind the hand I was using to prop my chin up. I paused the movie as Gerard called me for dinner. We grabbed our plates and sat in our usual spots, and ate in silence before Gerard spoke again.

"So why were you in town today?" He asked.

"Don't be nosy," I told him. He rolled eyes.

"Just tell me, asshole." I set down my food and wiped my hand on the paper towel he'd given me, and then took a deep breath.

"I was enlisting in the Army today." He stopped chewing his food and swallowed whatever he'd just bitten off whole. He set his food down and then turned to me. I looked at him, and then he did something I never thought he would. He lifted his hand and laid it across my face, hard. My cheek stung and I held it.

"Why the fuck would you do that?!" He screamed. I stared at him wide-eyed, movie, food, and fun all forgotten.

"Because it's my future, Gerard. Why are you so angry?! God, man, I don't understand you one fucking bit!" I yelled.

"How long have you known you were going to enlist?" I stayed silent. "How long?!" He yelled.

"For about a year-" another slap came my way and he stood up, hovering over me. I looked up and him with a hard look and he glared down.

"You just ruined your fucking life!" He grabbed me by the collar and I just let him. This was something personal. It had to be, because it had nothing to do with me.

"Why would you do that, Frankie..?" His voice cracked. He slowly let go of my collar and dropped to his knees in front of me. He looked at me with pleading eyes, full of tears. He pulled me into tight hug, I almost couldn't breath.

"Why?" He asked again.

"I needed to leave this place, Gerard. I need to get away from my parents and everyone here."

"Even me?" He asked softly.

"Especially you. You're fixated on Ray and I want that to work out for you, but I have to do this. You don't know exactly how bad I need to do this." Before I knew it, tears started forming in my eyes and escaping down my cheeks. I made no move to wiped them, but instead hugged Gerard back.

"This hug, Gerard.. I like it. A hug is all I wanted from anyone. Thanks for giving me that." He stayed silent.


	21. I Don't Know When

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gerard did it.

Gerard hugged me tightly, sniffling every few seconds.

"Gerard, I swear if you get boogers on my shirt, I'm going to be super pissed off." He laughed and pulled away. His face was red and tear stained.

"Sorry," he laughed softly. "But, um, things with Ray and I are going well. He's actually opening up to me and everything. It's really nice. I know he bullies you, used to be your boyfriend and all that, but, like, he's amazing, Frankie." I smiled as I thought of the sweet boy Ray used to be, and then nodded in agreement.

"Yeah. He's a good guy. I know you guys will be together in no time." I felt content. Like all the anger that was inside me was suddenly gone. I could actually smile with no problem, and I actually wanted to.

"You're okay with it?" He asked. He seemed confused. I smiled more.

"Of course. I'm leaving in exactly 6 months to the day, Gerard. I'm completely fine with it. I just feel so... bubbly. Like nothing could make my day any worse. I'm not sure what to call it, but I feel infinite. Unstoppable, even." Gerard laughed.

"That's called happiness," he continued giggling.

"I guess I'm finally happy then and it feels great, you know. I'm almost done with school, I'll be able to get out of here, get into a good school for free, be whatever I want to be. On top of that, I can fight for my country," I said. Gerard's huge grin died down to a sad small. It was the kind of smile someone would use when you loved someone, but you let them go because you realized that it was enough that the person knew you loved them. It was bittersweet.

"Yeah. Mikey said the same thing, too. He's my brother. He was in the military as well. He was really happy to fight for us and we were all happy for him, too. He was doing a tour in Afghanistan when he died. The truck he was doing surveillance in drove over this type of makeshift bomb and it exploded right over his spot in the truck. It was weird, you know. He was the only one who died. The others lost limbs, were severely burned, or something of the sort. I always wondered why it was only Mikey, out of 10 men, who was the one to go," he spoke. That's what it was. His brother. He thinks I might end up sharing the same fate as him. I put my hand on his shoulder and his eyes seemed to come back into focus. He smiled sadly and put his hand on top of mine. We stayed like that for a while, until we realized that dinner was still there and the movie was still paused.

"We should finish up everything, so I can get you home," he chuckled. I pressed play and slowly started eating my food. I didn't want to leave here. Especially when Gerard seemed like he needed me.

"Oh! My favorite song!" He cheered. I smiled at his childishness and listened as he sang.

_"It really was no miracle._  
What happened was just this.  
The wind began to switch, the house to pitch,  
And suddenly the hinges started to unhitch.  
Just then, the Witch-to satisfy an itch,  
Went flying on her broomstick, thumbing for a hitch!" 

I laughed as he did the same hand gestures as Dorothy. He seemed to be really into it. I noticed my phone vibrating with a message. I checked the message and wanted to frown, but Gerard's singing and line reciting was hilarious.

Mother: _Where are you? Your father and I are home early. We want to have dinner together._

I scoffed and typed back.

Me: _I already ate dinner._

Mother: _Did you enlist, Frank?_

Me: _Of course. I promised I was going to do it. Thanks to both of you, I am very big about keeping my promises to people. In exactly 6 months, you'll never have to see me again._

Mother: _Get home. Now._

I sighed and stood. May as well pour my heart out. Gerard looked up at me, confused.

"Ah, I gotta get going. My mother wants me home. I really want to give them a piece of my mind, too, so perfect opportunity." I smiled and he nodded in understanding. "You know, I feel like my old self again. The kid before Ray hurt me, you know?" I wasn't looking for confirmation but he still nodded to show he was listening.

"Well, I hope you stay this way, because it's great," he laughs, standing up. "Well, let's go then." I followed him out the door and we listened to more Beatles on the way home. Purposefully, I left all my movies there so I could come back sometime, maybe..

“I hope things go well, Frankie,” he said as we came to a stop at my house. I smiled back at him as I got out the car.

“I’ll see you at school tomorrow, Gerard. And thanks, you know, for understanding.”

“Understanding what?” He asked. I chuckled.

“Me.” He smiled knowingly after a he realized what I meant and I closed the door and walked up my porch. I took a deep breath, still smiling, as I walked inside. My parents were standing in front of the door, arms crossed, and all that movie bullshit.

“What’s that smile for?” My father asked. I laughed.

“Oh, that’s right,” I said, “you’ve never seen me smile.” Their frowns deepened.

“Frank, don’t talk to us that way. Why were you home so late? And who did you have dinner with? And who brought you home?” They rammed me with questions and I finally frowned.

“Listen, guys, you don’t get to ignore me for nearly all of my life, and then start acting like parents when I’m finally doing what I want to be doing,” I scolded. Their looks hardened.

“Well, we’re always busy, Frank! What do you want us to say?” My mom yelled. I threw my backpack down.

“Then why are you guys home so early?! It’s because you _wanted_ to be, right? So that must mean that you never wanted to come home to me!” I yelled back.

“We’ve given you anything you could ever want, Frank! What more do you want?!” It was my father’s turn to yell.

“I want you guys! That’s all I ever wanted! We could be dirt poor and none of that would matter if you were both by my side. I want nice home cooked meals that my mother makes, I want my father to play catch with me outside and show me how to be an honest man and not…not some evil business man. I want a mom and dad, and, all my life, you have both just been strangers that helped make me…” My voice broke. I looked up at them with all the hurt I’d held in for so many years, and their eyes seemed to soften.

“Why can’t you just be normal parents? Why couldn’t you have done that?” I asked them.

“Frank, look, your father and I had big dreams. But then we had you and things kind of happened this way. You weren’t planned in everything thing that we had planned.” As she spoke, I’d never heard such terrible words coming out of my own mother’s mouth.

“Then maybe you should have kept your legs closed, mother!” I hissed. She gasped and then raised her hand to slap me. I let her. Those words shouldn’t have left my mouth, and yet… they felt so right, as if I needed to say it.

“I’m leaving tonight instead. There’s no way you can make up everything you deprived me of in six months,” I said as I walked upstairs and into my room. I ignored their yells of my name followed by strings of profanity and slammed my door shut as hard as I could. The door made cracking sounds and I smiled at it. I want to break everything. After I’m done packing, I suppose I could do that to fuck with them. I pulled out my suitcase and started pulling out all my clothes from the drawers and my closet. I grabbed everything and stuffed it into the suitcase. Suddenly, I heard my parents on the other side of my bedroom door.

“Frank, open the goddamn door!” My father yelled. I heard the sobs of my mother and it made me start packing faster. When I was finally done, I took a marker and started writing a message on the wall for them to read whenever they opened the door.

“Wasn’t it nice to finally see me smile?” I pulled a decently big sized show box out of my room and then climbed out the window. As my feet hit the ground, I stumbled a bit, twisting my ankle from the drop. I looked back up towards my window and sighed.

"I actually hope the writing wasn't too dramatic," I chuckled. I walked out of my property and wandered around aimlessly. A part of me wanted to call Gerard, so I could stay with him for the night, but that was probably a bad thing to do. Though, when I really thought about it, it wouldn't be the worst thing to happen between. After all, he did basically pleasure himself on me. The image popped into my head, and I suddenly felt hot. Gerard was a sexy individual and I couldn't deny that, and my thoughts about him were becoming more erotic. I often wondered what he would feel like inside of me, what his chest would feel like on my back, and how tightly his hands would grip my hips. I could feel my breathing become a bit shallow as a wave of excitement coursed through my body straight to my manhood.

I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket and I welcomed the feeling for a short while before shaking myself out of it and pulling my phone out. Oh. It was a call. From Gerard. I thought twice about answering, but my body answered for me as my finger slid over the answer button.

"Hello?" I asked.

"You left your movies here," he said softly.

"Oh, I didn't realize," I lied.

"Liar. I saw your eyes look at them before you walked out of the house." I felt embarrassed so I chuckled instead.

"It would be different if I watched them on my own, Gerard," I said truthfully. Though, to be more honest, I loved watching him watching the movies. He looked so content, like I could sit here all day of everyday watching the look on his face and be content with my life. It was a weird feeling, because I knew what it was.

And I wasn't scared.

And I didn't want to run away.

I'm in love with Gerard, and I feel fine.

"Frankie? Are you there?" I heard his voice. He sounded concerned. I was about to answer, but then an 18-wheeler drove by, honking like there was no damn tomorrow.

"Where are you?" He asked.

"I'm walking towards a motel," I said as I resumed my walking.

"What? Why? Did your parents kick you out?" His voice sounded urgent.

"No, I left on my own. I'm actually doing fine," I said.

"Frank, you can't lie to me. Tell me where you are. I'll go get you."

"No. I'm fi-fine." My voice started breaking and I wasn't why. I felt great. I was happy to be out of my parents life. They never wanted me to begin with so why would I stay? Exactly. I wouldn't. So here I am, in the middle of the sidewalk at night, with a couple of suitcases, a box full of money I've been saving since that night my parents left me, alone, and broken.

"P-please come get me... My chest hurts," I sobbed. He didn't say anything for a while and I wondered if he was still on the phone. I was about to check when I heard him talk.

"Tell me where you are."

"In front of the store down the road from my parent's home," I said.

“I’ll be right there. I’m already in my car, okay? I’ll find you,” then he hung up. I waited on the bench outside for Gerard. When his car finally pulled up, I wasted no time in getting inside and hugging him. It felt a little weird since the last time I’d hugged anyone was Ray a long time ago. He hugged back tightly, and I didn’t realize I was full on wailing into his neck until he whispered soothing words in my ear. We stayed like that for a good as my wailing turned into small sobs and silenced to slight shaking. My eyes felt heavy, and I felt heavy in general.

“Are you okay, Frankie?” Gerard asked. I looked at his face and just stared. He looked right into my eyes and as I stared longer, the more the blush on his cheeks grew brighter. I wanted to smirk, but I found myself too tired to do even that. I was just glad that it was Gerard who was here with me. He cleared his throat and started his car, driving off and making a sharp U-turn, and heading back in the direction in his house. On the way there, he reached over and hesitantly put his hand on mine. I smiled a little and just gripped his index finger tightly before succumbing to sleep.

I awoke on a soft bed I knew to be Gerard's. I looked around and saw that he was laying next to me. His back was turned to me, and his blankets were all he way up to his nose, it seemed. I smiled at how, dare I say, cute he looked. I looked around as if someone could see what I'm about to do. I stretched out, groaning loudly, and cuddled my way into Gerard's back. I leaned against him, and I felt him slightly tense. I smirked and gripped the blankets softly. He seemed to relax and I closed my eyes as he turned around, pretending to be asleep. I peeked out from under my eyelashes and saw that he was staring at me.

"I wish you didn't have to leave, Frankie..." He whispered softly. I felt his finger trail down my cheek slightly. He sighed deeply.

"I shouldn't do this, but I feel like I won't be able to after Ray and I maybe become a thing." I wondered what he meant until I felt him really close to my face. I felt his breath against my cheek, and soon I felt a slight pressure on my lips.

He's kissing me.

I wanted to pull him more, because he was just too overwhelming. He was making me unravel from everything I worked hard for. I can't do this. I'll be leaving and I don't want this bond. I thought I felt fine about being in love with Gerard, but I'm not. He's pursuing Ray, I still have to deal with Jealousy, and I'm going to be gone. I can't just form this bond to break it.

But I'm already screwed.

This bond formed the day I offered him help.

He might get hurt and it's all my fault.

I should have just left him as he was, but... then I wouldn't have experienced happiness again. Is that selfish? Gerard pulled away and then laid his head on my shoulder and his breathing became calmer. He's asleep now. I opened my eyes and instinctively licked my lips. I felt my eyes burn with tears and I allowed one tear to slip out before I forced myself to sleep.


	22. I'll Be Back Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They know.
> 
> TW//Mentions of self harm towards the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to let everyone who reads this know that from this chapter on, for a few chapters, I wasn't in a good place when I wrote them. I was struggling with being unhappy, balancing college, work, and living on my own. I was depressed and I still am, but I manage. These next few chapters are terrible, if I'm going to be honest. But, one day, I'll come back and revise this entire story.

I awoke to Gerard snuggling at my side, and I wanted to smile, but I held it down. I stared at the ceiling in silence, enjoying it until Gerard’s alarm blared in my ear, causing me to jolt. Gerard groans, and then turned over, and slammed his hand on his alarm. He was still for a moment before finally getting up and looking groggily at me.

“Morning,” he says, smiling.

“Morning,” I answer, staring at his lips. Without realizing, I touch my lips and he gives me a sort of panicked look.

“What?” He asks. I shake my head, waving him off.

“I just had… an odd dream.” We stay sitting there for a while until he finally stands up. I observe him and notice he’s only in his underwear.

“Really, Gerard?” I said, amusement in my tone. He laughs and walks into his bathroom. I turned over in the bed, snuggling up in the blankets, before realizing the time. I bolt up.

“Gerard! I’m late for JROTC!” I yell, quickly getting up and rushing for my suitcase. Gerard rushes out and pulls me back to the bed.

“Frank, I know. You’re not going to school today. You look like shit,” he said. I glared at him.

“I always look good.” He scoffed, rolling his eyes.

“Yeah, always, sure.” He pushed me down on the bed and pulled the covers up to my nose. I took in the scent of him, and smiled underneath the covers despite the glare in my eyes. He smiled sweetly down at me.

“Stay here and rest, all right? I’ll leave school early so you’re not by yourself for too long,” he said.

“I’m not a little kid, Gerard. I can take care of myself.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever you say.” Then he walked away into the restroom and I heard the shower turn on a few moments later. I stared at the ceiling once again until I felt my eyes growing heavy.

I snapped my eyes open and bolted up. I looked at the time and noticed it was already three in the afternoon. Gerard would be home in an hour probably. I slid out of bed and walked into the latrine. I looked at myself in the mirror and Gerard was right.

“I look like shit,” I mumbled. My eyes were swollen from my crying, I had bags under my eyes as well and I still had lines of tears streaking my cheeks. I ran the shower until it was hotter than I could stand it and then got in. I grunted slightly, because the pain was almost unbearable, but it took the pain away from the kiss Gerard gave me last night.

“Why would you do that?” I whispered, “It’s just going to make it harder to leave you…” I wash up and then take a seat on the tub, holding my head in my hands until the water ran cold. After getting dressed, I put my phone on the charger and wait for it to turn on. When it finally did, I had a shitload of messages from my mother, a couple from my father, and tons from Jealousy. I deleted my parents’ without reading them and then read my so-called girlfriends.

Jealousy: _Frank, let’s hang out tonight?_

Jealousy: _Hello??_

Jealousy: _When are you going to answer me!_

Then the ones from today.

Jealousy: _Wanna meet before JROTC start?_

Jealousy: _Where are you??_

Jealousy: _The bus is here. Damn it, Frank! Answer me already!_

I groaned and fell on the bed and yelled into the blankets. I’d never done that before, but it felt great. I did it a few more times before I decided to answer her back.

Me: _I’m not attending school today. I was focused on my phone yesterday either, so I didn’t realize I had those messages._

A few minutes later I received a long text from her.

Jealousy: _I’m your girlfriend, you’re supposed to check to see how I’m doing. God, you’re such an inconsiderate asshole. I’m trying to make this relationship work, and you’re basically keeping me at arm’s length! Back when I was with Ray, you were constantly checking up on me and now you can’t care less! Ugh!_

I sighed in frustration.

Me: _Yes, you’re right. I’m sorry. I’ve been going through a few things, but that’s no excuse. You should be much more important. I promise to focus on you a lot more. Forgive me._

I didn’t get answer until Gerard was already walking through the door.

Jealousy: _Whatever, but you have some explaining to do._

“Frank! Where are you?!” Gerard yelled followed by a string of curses. He sounded panicked. At that moment, I received a text from a number I forgot to erase all those years ago.

Ray: _We need to talk._

“Frank!” Gerard yelled as he came into the room. He approached me slowly, as if I would run  
away at any moment.

“What?” I said as I answered his text.

Me: _About?_

“They know.”

Ray: _They know._

I tossed my phone aside and gave Gerard a confused look.

“I heard all of my classes talking about you and Ray, Frank. I heard that a couple of people overheard your conversation the other day. Everyone is speaking about it. I don’t know what you want to do…” He murmured. I put my hand to my face and then looked him dead in the eye.

“I want to die.” He gave me a concerned look and I grabbed a pillow and screamed into it many times. I felt Gerard’s hand on my back, trying to calm me down, but how was I going to be okay?

I’m not okay.

Everything I’d worked hard to forget, everything I’d finally put in the past, all the tears, the anger, the love, everything was all blown away because I’d decided to let go in an empty, but public place.

It was my fault. I took my face from the pillow and looked up at Gerard.

“I hate myself. It’s all my fault. I was so focused on going away that I didn’t realize I still had a few months to go before actually leaving. I’m really not okay. How will I go to school?” I asked him. He hugged me tightly.

“Go next week instead then. Think about what you should do during this time off,” he said. I got up and walked into the restroom, not answering the calls of Gerard. I close the door behind me and lock it.

\--

I need something to hurt. I need it. I need to think about something else. I go through the different things in Gerard’s cupboard and find a collection of razors.

“He does it, too,” I mumbled. I’d never even noticed. Gerard keeps banging on the door, but I ignore him as it’s only me and my best friend right now. The one who’d never let me down.

But.

Neither has Gerard.

He’s never let me down.

I glance at the small window in his restroom and I move to open it. After a little bit of struggling, I  
force it open and dump all the razors out, burying them in the dirt a little bit and then closing it once again. I laid on the restroom floor for the rest of the night. I looked under the door and saw Gerard’s shadow there. I could barely see him, but I knew he was awake.

\--

“Gerard?” I whispered under the door. He twitched a little.

“Yeah?” He asked. We met eyes from under the door.

“Will I be okay?”

“I wouldn’t let anything happen to you, Frankie,” he answer. I nodded even though he probably couldn’t see me and then I fell asleep.

“Come out tomorrow, okay? I’ll be right here,” I heard him whisper.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you.


	23. Where Did You Come From? (Gerard's POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The calm before the storm.

That day, I took off from work to stay with Frank. He'd really scared me last night, but he'd been doing a lot of that lately. His emotions have changed so drastically that it's hard to keep up.

"So, let everything out, okay, Frankie?" I asked him. We'd taken a seat on my bed and sat there for a while before I decided to break the silence.

"There's nothing else to let out. Everyone knows and Ray still has my number and Jealousy will ask questions and put me on the spot..." he trailed off. Wait, what? Ray texted him? Never mind, that’s not important right now. I put my hand on his shoulder and squeeze lightly. He raises his head up to look at me and I give him a soft smile. His lip twitches and I want to frown because it shows that he’s going back to his old self.

“Cheer up, Frankie. Everything will be okay. How about we watch a movie?” I asked. He nodded his head slowly after thinking about it for a while.

“But shouldn’t you go to work, Gerard? I’ll be fine on my own,” he tried to convince me. As much as he’d rarely admit it- this not being one of those times- he wants me to stay. I know he does.

“I’m not leaving you,” I told him. He gave me a small smile that looked full of relief which caused me to smile as well. I studied his face as he went to look through the movies. I always thought he was beautiful. I’m not fully attracted to him, but enough to notice how soft his facial features are despite his hard looks. I watched as his hazel eyes scanned over the movies before him because seeing them slightly light up as he reached for one.

“How about we just finish the Wizard of Oz?” He asked me. I smiled. Like I was going to say no to that movie.

“You know, Ray used to want me to watch this movie. I just remembered. I never wanted to because movies always ended. He was always a big movie fanatic. After he, uh, left me, I made a list of movies that I would watch with him whenever he and I got back together,” he explained as he stared at the movie case.

“You were planning on taking him back?” I asked. I would’ve thought after everything, Frank would hate to be touched by someone who did that to him. I was that way with my own ex. I cringe at the memory of his hands on me during long nights of love making.

“Yes. I even tried to an extent, but that only caused his violent behavior towards me. I suppose after that, I didn’t really care about love. How can you hurt someone you used to say you loved with all your being? I never understood it, but I guess it’s because that’s the way the world works. Everyone is born innocent and the environment of that individual determines exactly who they become. For example, Ray’s father was abusive towards his mother. Hence the reason he became like that towards me. I’m taking a shot in the dark, but I think I always knew that he still loved me. I just didn’t want to hear it.” As Frank talks about Ray, I feel myself become almost guilty. He helped me get with someone who probably still loves as well. He sacrificed his love for mine. He sacrificed Jealousy’s love for mine, but I think all he really wanted was for Ray to be happy.

“I’m sorry, Frank. I wish things had turned out differently,” I confessed. And I mean it. There have been times where I thought that life would’ve been so much easier if I could just keep my eyes off of Ray long enough to not fall in love with him. Maybe it would’ve been easier if I’d fallen in love with Frank or maybe even someone my own age, but that didn’t happen and I can’t think about what-if’s now.

“Gerard, people can’t control these things. It’ll happen. I understand that. Just… please be happy and make sure he’s happy. He used to mean the world to me, so protect him.”  
“Do you still love him, Frank, because I can stop talking to him, you know?” I asked.

“You guys are officially talking?” He asked. He gets this type of expression on his face that I can’t really read. A mixture of anger and happiness.

“Um, yeah. We’ve been texting and stuff,” I explain, averting my eyes as I realize that I sound like a schoolgirl with a crush on Justin Timberlake. He chuckles, causing me to look at him defensively.

“What?” I snap.

“You sound like a schoolgirl with a crush on Justin Timberlake,” he says. I freeze. I hate how he does that! He thinks the same way I do and it makes me want to like him a hell of lot more than I like Ray.

“Stop that,” I say. He gives me a confused look and I sigh, waving away an explanation.

“Just put in the movie.” He does and takes a seat on the couch next to me, really close. There’s this feeling in the air between us, a type of content feeling yet bittersweet. I can’t shake this bad feeling, but I push it away and try to enjoy the movie. Once Dorothy found Scarecrow, I looked over at Frank and saw a refreshing smile on his face.

“Stop staring,” he said. I never looked away.

“I’m not staring,” I answered. He turned and looked at me. I looked into his eyes and he stared back at mine. We stayed like that. Never breaking eye contact, never leaning in, and never faulting. He suddenly blinked and then looked away, almost as if all of this was a bad idea.

“Frank.” He looks at me.

“Move in with me,” I say. He gives a twitch of his lips and I take that as a yes. He was too modest to say yes. I smile turn back to watching the movie. After a few moments of comfortable silence, he turned to me.

“I’ll, um, think about it,” he murmured, avoiding eye contact with me. I felt my smile vanish, but quickly placed it back on my face.

“Yeah, sure. It was kind of sudden, so I understand. Take your time, Frankie,” I said as I patted him lightly on the head.

“I’m not a little kid, Gerard,” he whined. I stifled a laugh and continued watching the movie. I started thinking about how Frank could’ve been sitting with Ray watching this movie instead of with him if it hadn’t been for Jealousy. I had her as a student, and she was pretty nice, but that doesn’t mean she wasn’t some type of floozy. It’s always the nice ones that have the darkest side, I noticed. I wonder if things really happen for a reason, or if life just butt-fucks us without giving us a complimentary reach around. I look at the movie without watching it. I find myself not really paying attention to anything these days. Even today, in the middle of class, I was supposed to be reading a book out loud to the class and just stopped mid-sentence without even realizing it. Ray was the one who brought me back from my thoughts by rubbing his foot against mine, which shocked me and caused me to look around only to find everyone looking at me.

“Gerard?” I heard Frank ask. I looked over at him and silently told him to continue talking.

“Well, I was just wanting to know if you actually wanted me to, you know, move in with you?”

“Of course,” I answered quickly. This seemed to surprise him because it took him a while to answer.

“Why?” He asked.

“Well, I can’t just leave you on the streets, Frank. I can give you a nice, warm place to sleep and food in your tummy,” I explain.

“Tummy? What are you, five?” He sulked.

“Well, what if I am! Speaking of age, I’m your teacher. You missed an important lesson today in class,” I tell him.

“Okay, so teach me.”

“Wait- you’re not going to argue?” I asked, dumbfounded. He scoffed.

“Well, no. I take my school work seriously.”

“Oh, yeah, your resting bitch face says you take everything too seriously,” I laugh. He grabs the pillow he was clutching and throws it at my face. I maneuver off the couch, dodging it just in time.

“Ha! You miss-!” I was interrupted with another pillow coming at me, this one actually hitting me in the face. I throw it back at him and I miss as he moves away, lunging himself at me with the last pillow on the couch. I roll away and grab the one first thrown at me.

“You’re such a jackass, Gerard!” He laughs. I relax a little bit knowing that he’s maybe feeling somewhat better, but then regret it as the pillow he’s holding comes in contact with my shoulder.

“You little shit!” I chuckle as I grab my arm. The rest of the night consisted of us running around my house trying to hit the other. First one to get hit five times loses and has to do something embarrassing that the other one decides. Playing such a game makes me feel like a teenager again, and that thought itself makes me smile. I really hope Frank stays smiling, but even I am aware that that is impossible. This is Frank Iero we’re talking about. Once we were getting ready for bed, I saw Frank check his phone and he frowned.

“What’s wrong, Frankie?” I asked him. He looked up at me and shrugged his shoulders.

“Ray wants to talk. It must be hard for him as well,” he responds. I watch as he plugs his phone to his charger. He climbs into bed next to me and tosses and turns until he’s comfortable.

“Jeez, you’re shaking the whole house,” I mutter.

“Are you trying to make a fat joke?” He asks, peeking out from under the blankets with a glare.

“Yes,” I say as I stick my tongue out at him.

“I still can’t believe you’re in charge of teaching kids! The future of our nation! And you’re here sticking your tongue out at me like a child,” he says. I pout.

“Yeah, well, I’m a sexy child!” I defend.

“Only you would think that,” he retorts.

“Nope, Ray does as well,” I say, giving him the finger.

“He’s easy to please,” he laughs. Even though we bicker like an old married couple, I know Frank is a good kid. I really wish I met him before I had that chance to fall in love with Ray.

The weekend passes by in a flash and Frank is obviously nervous about going back Monday. He’s constantly ignoring calls and messages from his JROTC group, and it’s starting to get Jealousy angry. The only reason I know that is because Ray talks to me and Jealousy talks to him. I avoid telling Frank that his girlfriend is talking to his and her ex. Tomorrow, Frank and I go back to school. Tomorrow he faces a possibility of his torment getting worse. All in all, I know that I have to protect him, because that little fucker will end up doing reckless things. And he can’t afford it. Not right now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the kudos, guys! And thanks, once again, S, for the lovely comments! <3


	24. Where Did You Go?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gerard is jealous and he also has a great idea.

Frank and I went back to school the next morning. He looked completely calm, or maybe I was just freaking out for him. I was nervous because there was a huge chance that Ray could retaliate. He hadn’t exactly said much about the incident that was spread around, but I could tell it was affecting him. There have been times over the weekend where he checked his phone and would tense up, and I could only assume that it was someone from his company or Ray.

“Are you ready, Frankie?” I asked him as I pulled into the parking lot. I parked at the far end. He sighed softly and turned to me, giving me a little smile.

“Yeah, I think so. Thanks, Gerard. See you in class,” he said as he unbuckled his belt and opened the door. I watched him walk onto the bus and really hoped for the best. I sat there for a few moments staring at the brick wall of the school before gathering up my bag and getting out the car myself. I sighed silently, jumping slightly as the sound of the bus taking off. I watched as it drove away.

“Maybe I should have gone with him?” I asked myself.

“With who, Mr. Way?” I heard a deep, familiar voice say. I turned my head straight ahead of me and saw Ray with a small smile on his face. I smiled a little bit, and waved.

“Hello there, Mr. Toro. Did you enjoy your weekend?” I asked. He gave me a little smirk, and I felt my cheeks heat up. I loved it when he did that.

“Of course. How could I possibly not?” He chuckled. “Well, are you going to keep staring at me or are you gonna walk inside with me?” He asked as he stepped ahead towards the door.

“Yeah, let’s go,” I said as I walked up next to him. We walked inside making casual small talk. I went in the direction of my classroom and Ray, surprisingly, followed. He noticed the questioning look in my eyes and chuckled nervously.

“Ah, um, I’m still not ready to face them, you know?” He confessed as I was unlocking the classroom door.

“I understand. Would you like to talk about it? I’m all ears and a closed vault,” I offered as I walked inside and put my bag on my desk.

“Well, if you’re really willing to listen, then okay. I guess it wouldn’t hurt to talk about it. Frank used to tell me that all the time,” he confessed. I thought for a moment. That doesn’t sound like something he would say. Then again, I didn’t really know who he was back then.

“You’re friends with Frank? You punched him in the face the other day.” I had to act like I didn’t know he was part of the reason he had major trust issues.

“We aren’t anymore. We used to be best friends, but, more than that, we were a couple.” I was surprised he was telling me all of this, but I was really curious since Frank never elaborated more on the subject. I couldn’t help but be curious! This was, like, a romance story you would find online or something!

“Frank and I met when we were in Jr. high, 6th grade, to be exact, and we were inseparable. He was always this kid in the class who would laugh at the dullest of things and have a smile on his face. He was the kid who made you happy to be in a certain class just because he was in it. Eventually, I started wanting to be the reason he was happy, because I loved him a lot. I still do.”

“So what happened?” I asked him.

“Frank was my first kiss, my first love, and my first time. He was my everything, but then I met Jealousy. Life has a funny way of happening. I was on my way to meet him, and I saw her at the park and she looked a little lost. I guess that’s drew me to her, you know, I wanted to help.” I nodded at him to continue. “Yeah, well, she and I ended up becoming too close and I started ditching Frank to be with her more. After we broke up, he kind of faded into the back. A couple of months into freshman year, he started pursuing me, and it bothered me because I still loved him, but I didn’t want to hurt Jealousy. I was so frustrated that I started taking it out on him.” He looked like he wanted to say more, but stopped himself. I walked over and patted him on the shoulder, giving it a light squeeze. Ray looked at me, standing about my height and smiled, bumping his shoulder into mine.

“The bell’s going to ring soon. Feel free to stay until then, but you’ll have to face them sooner or later. I wonder how Frank is going to be through all of this as well,” I asked out loud.  
“I tried talking to him over the weekend,” he said as I walked over to my bag to get my lesson plan out. “But he rarely answered me. I really think I should talk to him once JROTC comes back?” He asked. Even though he were really asking himself, I decided it would be best to answer.

“Well, maybe space is what he needs, so try giving him some time,” I suggested. He reluctantly nodded.

“You’re right. I’ll try that,” he said. He stopped talking after that and sat in a desk. I got all my handouts ready and it was then that my cell phone chimed with a new message. I looked up at Ray and he was sitting with his head down, no doubt sleeping. I put my phone on vibrate before checking the message. It was from Frankie.

Frankie: I’m losing control of this company.

I stopped what I was doing and sent a text back.

Me: What happened?

I waited for five minutes before my phone vibrated. I looked at it, prepared to read a message when I saw it was a call from him. I quickly walked out into the hall and answered the phone once I saw no one was in the hall.

“Hello?” I answered.

“They said they aren’t taking orders from a faggot.” His voice sounded cold and distant, but I knew that he was just hurt that the people he considered his family were treating him in such a way.

“So what’s going to happen?” I asked.

“I don’t really know, Gerard. I mean, I may just… step down and let Price take over as company commander.”

“Can you even do that?” I asked.

“Probably not, but it doesn’t hurt to try" he paused. "Okay, well, that’s not entirely true. I really love all of them, and I’m not sure what I would do without them,” he sighed, “I want to go back home and crawl under a rock.” I smiled at his emotions. It was still going to take some getting used to, because I was used to him being so stoic.

“You’ll be back at school and then we’ll be home soon enough.” As I finished my sentence, the bell rang.

“I gotta go. I’ll see you later today, Frankie. Good luck and let me know what happens,” I say quickly as I walk back into my room and hang up my cell. Ray slowly sat up and rubbed his eyes. He yawned loudly and stood up, stretching his arms over his head and balancing himself on his toes.

“Thanks for letting me stay here for a while, Mr. Way,” he thanked as he picked up his backpack and slung it over his shoulders.

“Of course. Anytime, Mr. Toro,” I said as I tried to hide the blush from watching him stretch. It was a bit wrong of me to think that his groans sounded so exotic, but I was thinking with the wrong head at the moment. Despite my growing blush, I glanced at Ray and watched as he shot me a striking smirk and left the class. I fanned my face and took a couple of deep breaths before class started filing in.

“Morning, Mr. Way!” One of my chirpier first period student chimed as she walked in. She was always nice to be around because her bubbliness rubbed off on the others, making my first period pretty lively.

“How’s your morning, Jamia?” I asked as she took a seat at her desk.

“Great as always! What about yours?” She asked. Yep, she was also super polite. Too much for her own good, I think, but there needs to be more people like her. Maybe I can introduce Frank to her and her liveliness will rub off on him. She seemed like the type of person who could help.

“It was all right. For the first time, I was able to see the JROTC bus take off, so that was interesting,” I said. I was trying to bring Frank into the conversation somehow. Maybe they really could be friends.

“Ah, Frank Iero is such a… _cutie_ ,” she confessed as a little blush creeped its way onto her face. I froze. On second thought, I better keep her away from him. I shook my head. What was wrong with me? Frank deserves happiness, and he isn’t going to find it with Jealousy, but maybe he could find it with Jamia.

“Ooh, so you’re interested in him?” I asked with a grin on my face, though I found that it hurt too much to be considered a real one.

“Well, yeah, I guess I am. He’s so mysterious, and he really cares about his class.” As I listened to her speak about the Frankie I’d come to know, I couldn’t fight the part of me that wanted her to stop.

“It seems so. Would you do me a favor and place these on each desk?” I asked as held the stack of papers out to her. I normally do it myself, but anything to get her to stop talking about Frankie. This works well.

“Sure!” She says as she takes the papers from him and passes it out. “Wait. We’re learning about the Wizard of Oz?” She asks me as she takes a good look at the handout.

“Yes. But I decided to do something different from using the book. I’m going to try using the script. I’m really excited about it!” I said happily as I thought about how many fun facts I could also teach the class.

“That does sound really exciting,” she says.

“And once we’re done, we’ll watch the movie and end it with a quiz.” I was glad that I could work my favorite movie into a lesson plan, and I could wait to get started. Soon enough the class started filing in, and once I saw all my students were here, I got up and walked to the front of the class.

“Morning, class! How has your morning been?” I asked. I got a few groans of protest and sleepiness. I chuckled and started passing out the first part of the script. “So, we’re going to be studying the Wizard of Oz script. As I’m sure you’ve noticed, on your desks are 10 questions I’d like for us to answer once we’ve finished reading through the script. Aren’t you guess excited?!” I exclaimed throwing my hands up in the air. Only Jamia exclaimed happily with me before a cricket decided to chip in his two cents. I scowled.

“All right. How about we make a deal?” I said to get them interest. A few of them raised their eyebrows in interest. “If each one of you put it your 110% and everyone makes a 100 on each paper we do on this, I will come to school dressed as Dorothy. Dress, basket, ruby slippers, and all.” They laughed, as if I were joking.

“You can’t be serious, right?” One of them asked.

“I’m very serious. But if you guys are so sure you can’t do it, then whatever then,” I said nonchalantly.

“Wait! Guys, let’s do this!” Another one of them said. I smirked.

“Maybe if you spread the word, on the days we’re watching the movie, I’ll reenact the musical numbers. That’s if every class makes a 100 on each paper and tries,” I challenged them. The gleam in their eyes said they accepted, and I was happy. I loved dressing up as Dorothy when I could. Haha, they thought they would embarrass me! I take pride in my infatuation!

“Cool, so then, let’s get started. Are you guys ready?” I asked again. They cheered, and I smiled. The rest of the class, each student at least answered one question and I was happy that they all seemed really excited. I mean, even if it wasn’t for the actual script but to get me to wear a dress, then that was fine with me. In the end, they’d learn a lot about how to decipher scripts. It was an important thing to have. To each one of my classes, I challenged them the same way and all of my classes seemed more than enthusiastic. By the time my free period rolled around, I was happy that my class seemed a lot more fun.

“Gerard, I’d like to have a word.” I looked up and saw the principle.

“Yes, sir?” I asked.

“Word in the halls is that you’re offering an incentive to your students,” he said. I smiled and nodded my head. I couldn’t let him see that I was slightly intimidated by his loud voice.

“Yes! The students seem really eager and, today, not one of them even put their head down on the desk. I’ve gotten all of them to enthusiastically answer questions. So far, every one of my students have 100’s on the paper I’d given out today,” I explained happily.

“Gerard, doesn't it seem a little inappropriate? You’ll be wearing a dress, for goodness’ sake!”

“Sir, I have found that if you give the kids something to work for, a type of goal, then they’ll strive to reach it.”

“That should be graduating,” he explained. I sighed and my hand to my face.

“I’m talking about small goals to reach for. You offer a kid candy or a trip to the store or park if he does something really good, don’t you? Same goes for everyone else. We’re all just a bunch of big kids, waiting for out next offer of candy or trip to the park. It’s the baby steps taken rather than the destination that matter.” He gives me a solemn look before nodding his head and chuckling.

“I’m fine with it, Gerard. I just wanted to see if you could hold your ground. A lot of young teachers that come through here have no backbone, but you seem to have an iron one. Good luck with the challenge, Gerard,” he said as he chuckled more and took his leave. Once I was sure he was gone, I let out a breath that I’d been holding and laughed to myself. No, he definitely wasn’t a bad guy at all. I spent half of my free period grading the rest of the papers and was happy when 4th period all made 100’s. I decided to check my phone and saw that I had a few of messages from Frank. Recently, too.

Frankie: _Jealousy demanded to know what was going on. I told her everything. Even about me hating her at some point. She seemed to understand and even apologized. She decided that we should stay together._

Hm, that’s odd. No normal girlfriend would be even slightly okay with that, but this is Jealousy that we’re talking about. The girl who thinks that agreeing to hang out meant dating. I read the next one.

Frankie: _Really, Gerard? Dorothy’s dress? Where are you going to get it?_

I laughed and was about to respond back when I heard someone come in. Speak of the devil.

“Hey there, Frankie,” I said as he took a seat in the desk in front of mine.

“Hey. You were just reading my texts?” He asked. I nodded and he smiled a little.

“So the dress?” He questioned. I smirked.

“Oh, yeah. I’m super excited.”

“I get the feeling that you already have the dress?” He guessed. I giggled and it caused him to laugh.

“That’ll be interesting. I can’t wait to see it.” We stayed silent after that. I thought about maybe telling him about Jamia and giving him the chance at happiness, but something was telling me not to. The feeling was there, and it was deep and I couldn’t shake it away. What’s more is that I don’t think I wanted to.

The rest of the day went by pretty fast and, still, I was glad that everyone seemed to know about my challenge and wanted to take part in it. I had to stay after school to read and comment on journals so I told Frankie to go on ahead without me. He gave me a smile that seemed bittersweet. It was almost like a goodbye, but I shook the feeling away. I would see him whenever I got home and we would watch movies together while eating a nice, home-cooked meal. Yes, my life was good. Or, at least it was until I came home to an empty house. All of Frankie’s things were gone and I panicked. I called him a dozen times, but he never picked up. I sent him a lot of messages, but he never answered them. I knew he wasn’t in any trouble, but I still went to bed that night feel anxious.

“Where did you go, Frank?” I asked as I laid in bed, staring that the ceiling. My mind was filled with nothing but his face, and it was at that moment that I realized that maybe I like Frankie more than I was letting myself on. I knew I shouldn’t, because he was going into the military, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback would be so amazing, guys <3  
> It's a bit of a tough crowd, isn't it?


	25. It Definitely Wasn't on Purpose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wizard of Oz and Frank reveals something.

It had been two months and I was feeling worse every day. I’d seen Frank at school, but he never paid me any attention no matter what I did. I eventually stopped texting and calling him when he made it apparent that he wasn’t going to answer. I stopped approaching him at school, because he would pay me no attention, and only talked to me when he had a question and even then, he used a very distant tone. As if we’d never watched many movies together, or eaten any dinners together, as if he and I were nothing but teacher and student. It bothered me, because he seemed to go back to his old self. His company was still being disrespectful, and he and Jealousy were doing horrible, but she refused to break up with him.

Ray and I were a lot closer, and have decided that we would date after he graduates. It was a relationship that pretty much had no title. We didn’t treat each other differently, because we were still teacher and student. Ray also indirectly keeps me updated on Frank and Jealousy’s relationship. They were still together, but I hear they barely talk. Every day, Frank looked worse and worse and I wanted nothing more to hold him, but I couldn’t because I couldn’t even get close enough to touch him, because he never allowed me.

I’d just gotten home from work and looked around my apartment, feeling its emptiness hit me all at once. I struggled to breathe almost and that was enough to feel the loneliness about my home without Frank. I sighed as I looked at my trashcan filled with a bunch of fast food bags, because I hadn’t cooked since Frank left.

“I’ll start today,” I said as I walked over to the counter and opened one of the cabinets. I pulled out my favorite pot, not looking because I never put anything out of place. I took it out and looked at it, gasping at the contents inside. I put it down on the counter and picked up the DVD copy of the Wizard of Oz, and rubbed my eyes to stop them from spilling tears.

“Did he accidentally leave this here?” I asked myself. No, there’s no way he accidentally forgot it in a place like this. No, he wanted me to find it. He wants me to find him, I conclude. I trip over myself running to my school bag to grab my phone. Once I had it in my hand, I froze. It’d been over a month since I’d called him, and if he didn’t answer me then, why would he answer now?

Fuck it.

I dialed his number and listened to each ring, growing more and more discouraged as each one passed.

“Yes?” He answered. I almost wanted to scoff at the way he said it.

“F-Frank?” I sputtered out.

“Yes, I’m Frank.” I sighed and remained silent for a little bit.

“I found it,” I said lowly.

“Speak louder.”

“I found your copy of the Wizard of OZ,” I said more clearly.

“Oh,” he said, “I’ve been looking for that. Would you like to come and return it?” He asked. My heart started pounding. I was going to see him.

“Yeah, sure. Are you back at your parents’ house?” I asked.

“Ew, no. I’m living at my own place. You know that old looking taqueria on 74th street?” He asked. I searched my mind.

“Yeah, that’s a few blocks away from my home, right?”

“That’s the one. I live in the little complex with across from it. Apartment B15, second floor. I’ll see you when you get here,” he said and then hung up before I had a chance to respond.

“Well, his manners didn’t get any better either,” I mumbled as I slipped on my shoes. I turned on my porch lights as I was living because I knew it would be dark by the time I returned home. It took me longer than I thought to actually arrive at Frank’s door, because I’d gotten lost and then turned back when I changed my mind. I knocked on the door and a minute later I was face to face with the boy who’d been avoiding me for months now. He smiled a bit and then stepped aside to let me in.

“Thanks for returning it, Gerard. I’ve been wanting to watch again. Care to watch with me?” He asked. I nodded and took a seat on his couch after kicking my shoes off. He chuckled at my behavior and I touched my ear, feeling my cheeks heat up. It’d been so long since I’d heard him chuckle. As he was putting the DVD in, I took that opportunity to look around. It was a decent looking place, even though it were a bit on the small side. The wall were completely white, and I took it that he hadn’t decorated which was completely like him.

“Oh, yeah, I’ve been wondering,” Frank started as he sat down next to me.

“Hm?” I hummed as I looked at him.

“How are we doing with the script and the tests?” He asked. At first, I was confused by what he’d meant, until the beginning of the Wizard of Oz started. I laughed remembering my bet to the kids two months ago. We were almost done with the script. Only 5 more scenes.

“All 100s so far. I’m seriously fucking amazed. It’s unbelievable what kids will do what they want to embarrass their teachers,” I laughed. Frank gave me a look, then scoffed.

“Yeah, only you won’t be embarrassed, will you? You’ve been hoping that everyone would make 100s. I know you, Gerard.” He gave me a smile as I nodded at his statement. We continued watching the movie for a good half hour until Frank spoke again.

“I would’ve loved to see you dressed as Dorothy, you know,” he spoke thoughtfully. As if he were talking to me in his head instead of actually to me.

“What makes you think you won’t? Don’t have faith in your classmates?” I teased. He gave a small smile as he turned to look at me.

“I’m switching schools.” I sat up straighter at the news.

“What?” I asked. I don’t think I heard him correctly. But I know I did, because he just drops his smile and turns back to the television to watch the movie. Eventually, I do as well, because I know that after this night, I will probably never see Frankie again. And I’m not okay with that. But I have to be.

We sit in silence.


	26. Over the Rainbow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry, you're welcome, and I'm sorry again.

Towards the end of the movie, Frank reaches over and holds one of my fingers in his own. I made no move to stop him, because, after all, this would be the last night I would be able to touch him. I smiled at his childish nature. I wanted to move so we could fully hold hands, but I know he wouldn’t like that. As the movie ends, I realize that this was the first time in six years that I hadn’t sang to the movie. Maybe I wasn’t in the mood to sing because I wasn’t happy with this situation. How was I supposed to be when Frankie wasn’t going to be attending the school anymore? He wasn’t going to be my student. I wasn’t going to be able to see him in the halls throughout the day or slowly eating his lunch in the cafeteria. This was really it. He was going to switch to a different school and graduate with strangers with no family there to congratulate him after he crosses the stage. I quickly moved my hand to my face to wipe away the tear beginning to fall. It was heartbreaking to imagine Frankie walking away alone after graduation to an empty house, but I couldn’t do anything about it.

I stood up after the movie ended and Frank walked me to the door. I stood in front of his door, looking at him. We stayed staring at each other for what seemed like years, but was truly only a few seconds. He smiled at me, and it was only then that I saw the tears in his eyes.

He _cares_.

He slowly shut the door, a tear escaping just before I couldn’t see him any longer. I raised my hand on to knock on the door, but found that I couldn’t. Instead, I rest my hand again it, flat. I heard a small sob from the other side, and my heart broke as my own tears escaped from my eyes. I slowly turned away and descended the stairs, making my way back to my car. I sat there in the driver's seat with my head against the steering wheel, trying to stop the sobs from getting out. I was trying to make sense of everything when I heard a tap on my window. I jumped in surprise and let out a breath of relief at seeing it was a human and not some type of creature or...maybe ghost. I wouldn't be surprised since my phone is haunted. I rolled down the window and looked up at who I realized was a police officer.

"Yes, officer?" I asked, suddenly nervous.

"Sir, you're parked in a handicapped spot. I'm going to have to ask you to leave," he explained.

"I am? I didn't even see the symbol on the spot. Sorry about that. I was leaving anyways." He smiled and bid me a goodnight. I waved at him as I pulled out the parking lot and drove away. I silently thanked the officer in my head, because if he hadn't told me to leave, I probably wouldn't have left and instead would have gone back to Frankie. It's not that I didn't want to, but that he wouldn't. As I made my way back home, I turned on my stereo and put in my Beatles CD. The first song was Let It Be and I wanted to flip my car, so I shut it off for the rest of the drive. My phone vibrated as I got out of the car. It was a call from Ray.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Mr. Way, wanna hang out for a bit?" I almost wanted to sigh.

"You know I hate when you call me that!" I whined. He chuckled and I felt myself smile.

"So is that a no?"

"No, let's spend some time together," I said. I needed to get my mind off if Frankie, but now that I think about it... this was his ex. I almost facepalmed.

"I'll head over there right now. Be there in, like, ten," he said and bid me a bye.

"No, it's dark out. Let me pick you up."

"My, my. You're such a gentlemen. Okay, I'm at the park near the school. I'll be waiting for you," he said. We said our goodbyes and I got back in my car. I stared off into space and, before I knew it, I was at the park. I saw Ray walking over here so I got out of my car and walked around the other side to open the door for him. He chuckled as he got in, but I didn't miss the dust of light pink across his cheeks. I smirked and nearly celebrated that victory. I'd never gotten him to blush before and I definitely wasn't complaining. As I got in the car and buckled up, I reached over and held Ray's hand as I drove back to my place. His hand was big and warm and it felt nice, but then I suddenly felt guilty. Frank was all alone and here I was with his ex, holding hands. I sighed.

"Everything okay, Gerard?" He asked. I smiled and glanced at him.

"You bet. Just, um, I think I'm gonna have to order that Dorothy costume," I laughed. Ray looked at me blankly for moment, before laughing hysterically. After that, the drive home was more relaxing than I thought it was going to be. Neither of us said a word as I drove. I held his hand tightly, rubbing circles on his knuckles soothingly and smiling what I'm assuming looked like a dumb smile. I let go of his hand to turn into my driveway. I was about to get out of the car when I felt Ray grab my arm; I looked at him with a questioning look. The look he was giving was sending signals to my body, telling me to lean in and kiss him. But I averted my eyes.

"Ray, I'm sorry. You know I can't," I said. Everything was telling me to kiss this man, but my mind drifted back to Frank and I really _couldn't_. He sighed softly, but gave me an understanding look.

"Is it all right if I stayed the night here?" He asked. I must have looked shocked, because he chuckled at my reaction.

"I mean," I cleared my throat, "I don't really mind, but your parents?" He moved to get out of the car and I followed his move, getting out myself.

"I'll tell them I'm staying at a friends. They won't mind." I felt a bit skeptical. Back in my day, my parents would've given me a long lecture about how it was a school night if I got home from school late. Oh, God. I sound like a fucking senior citizen. I shook away my thoughts as I smiled at him and took his hand, leading him up to my home. As I unlocked the door, his grip on my hand tightened causing me to look back at him before heading in.

"I'm sorry. I'm just a little nervous," he confessed.

"Ray, I would never do anything to you that you wouldn't want," I assured him.

"No, I know. It's just that I don't trust myself with you..." he said lowly. I blushed and cleared my throat.

"Oh, I see. Well, I assure you that I wouldn't mind being physical with you, but we have to wait until you have graduated." He nods and we head inside once he says that he's fine with it. We watch movies for the rest of the night and I order take out for us because I couldn't see myself cooking for anyone other Frank. That night we decided to sleep in the same bed. We were back to back until Ray wrapped his arm around my waist, pulling me close. I gasped softly at his warmth and snuggled back into him. I could see why Frank loved him so much.

The rest of the week went by terribly slow. Frank was even more distant than before, if that were even possible, which, I guess it was. Thursday, I was grading the last test paper for the script of the Wizard of Oz and sighed happily. They actually did it! Yes! I mean, I was really proud of them, but, like, it was also a good thing for me. I chuckled at my own eagerness as I ran into my closet and dragged out the box that contained my full Dorothy attire. I went to bed that night, sighing happily.

The next morning, I put everything I would need in a bag and rushed to school earlier than usual. The sun was barely coming up as I entered the school, and I found myself a lot giddier than I should have been. Frank was still here and I was happy that he would be able to see it. I was setting up my class plan as I felt my phone vibrating; thinking it was Ray, I quickly pulled it out. It was a call from Frank. My heart nearly stopped as I hesitantly answered the call.

“Hello?” I answered. I glanced at the time. It was barely going to be 6:30.

“ _All of you mean so much to me. I know things have been rocky for a couple of months and a lot of you may feel bitter towards me, but I want you all to know that today is my last day as your company commander and at this school. Throughout this past year, you all made me feel like I had a family. All of you may know that my parents are business people, but you may not know that I spent nearly all of my life alone. I joined JROTC, at first, for the easy grade. Eventually, though, I realized that this may truly be my calling; as a result, I’ve recently enlisted and will be taken to basic training in a few months. You have all helped me in not feeling alone, and I want to thank you. You were my real family and I will never forget what I was taught throughout this entire course. So, in return, I would like all of you to remember the reason you truly joined this program. Keep that reason close to your heart and never forget the feeling you get when you walk through those front doors_ ,” he explained. I held my breath. The way he talked to them was as if they never called him names that hurt his feeling or made him feel alone.

“ _I got permission from 1st Sergeant. This is so I could dismiss you one last time. Alpha Company, on your feet!_ ” He yelled. His voice had so much authority. I heard a quick shuffle of movements.

“ _Alpha Company,_ ” his voice seemed to slightly crack, “ _dis-miss!... And farewell_.” I heard receding footstep and then a door slamming.

“ _Frank, wait!_ ” That was Jealousy’s voice.

“ _What is it?_ ” He asked. I stood up from my desk and paced the room.

“ _Why didn’t you tell me you were moving? That’s insulting. You never talk to me. We never spend any time together. I’m sorry, but I can’t do this anymore. I’m breaking up with you_ ,” she said.

“ _I understand. Goodbye._ ” He was probably jumping for joy on the inside.

“ _You’re not even going to fight for me?_ ”

“ _There’s only one person I would fight for, and it isn’t you_.” Then I heard footsteps again and another door closing. It was silent for a while before I heard him softly say, “ _Goodbye, Gerard_.” And then the call ended. I put my phone down on my desk and just stood for a while. I looked at the time and realized that kids were going to start entering the school soon. I need to get changed into costume. I am, after all, a man of my word. I didn’t realize I was crying until I looked at my reflection in restroom mirror, but I quickly turned away because staring at myself crying just makes me cry even more. I quickly slipped on my costume, already knowing how to put it on. Don’t judge me. I quickly walked back to my classroom, ruby slippers clacking softly across the floor. I stayed in my room, heart pounding in my chest, somewhat nervous and feeling a little sick. I put my head down for a while.

“Mr. Way?” I heard a voice. I quickly raised my head and saw Ray looking at me with an amused look.

“Holy fuck, you look _so_ cute!” He exclaimed. I felt my cheeks burn, causing me to put my hands up to cover them.

“Ray,” I whined, “stop!” I said, trying to be stern, but failed horribly as a grin spread across my face. We were silent for a while before he burst out laughing.

“Yep," I said, popping the ‘p’, "that’s what I was waiting for.” His laughing continued even as other kids came trudging through the door. Once they saw me, their eyes lit up and they, too, began laughing. Before I knew it, what looked to be a majority of the school had showed up and started taking pictures that I proudly posed for. I took out a stuffed puppy that looked like Toto and a basket similar to Dorothy’s out of the bag I brought and posed with those, wearing the same facial expression Judy Garland had when she first stumbled across Oz. All in all, I was enjoying myself. Laughing and all, until the bell rang and I realized, for the first time, that no one was late. I walked up to the front of the class with the biggest smile on my face.

“So,” a student started, “you actually did it. Holy fuck, you actually did it!”

“I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that word, Bob,” I laughed. I did a curtsy and made my voice a little higher.

“Auntie Em, Uncle Henry!” I exclaimed, causing the class to laugh. “All right, all right. Let’s start the movie. I can’t wait!” I said as I jogged over to my desk and grabbed my bag, pulling out the DVD, and stared at it lovingly.

“Ew, Mr. Way. Get a room,” Bob said in fake disgust. I stuck my tongue out at him.

“Oh, whatever, Bryar. You’re just jelly that I love this movie more than you,” I retorted.

“Did you… just say jelly?” He asked.

“Yup. You’re so jelly, I could spread you on some peanut butter,” I said as I placed my hand on my hip. The class laughed and I took that time to put on the movie. After turning on the projector, I waited patiently.

“Okay, we agreed I _only_ reenact the musical numbers, but if I start quoting the movie, don’t judge me,” I explained, probably way more excited than I should’ve been, but this was my favorite movie we were talking about.

“You’re wearing a full on Dorothy costume, like, dog, basket, and all. And you’re worried about us judging you _now_?” Bob said. Seriously, this kid was the best smartass ever. He was the only one with enough balls to actually voice his thoughts and I enjoyed that about him. Especially when his mouth slipped up and he landed himself in detention for another teacher. I was normally the teacher in charge of watching the kids in detention, so I saw him often. He shared with me his love for drumming, and since he always had his drumsticks with him, he often showed me what he was capable of. So far, his favorite song to do was Free Bird and he was damn good at it. Though if he could do the guitar that would be pretty amazing, but I’m not complaining. I pressed play and took a deep breath.

“All righty then, class, you remember the script so I want you to tell me if the actors portrayed the directors vision correctly and then we’ll get into a big discussion at the end. Sound great?” They all nodded in approval, but were too focused on the movie. I shrugged my shoulders and engrossed myself in the movie. I’m so happy. Once Auntie Em stated that Dorothy should stay out of trouble, I got up and made my way to the front of the classroom. The kids’ eyes were on me so intensely that I almost felt nervous. Almost. I took a deep breath.

_‘Somewhere over the rainbow_  
Way up high  
And the dreams that you dreamed of  
Once in a lullaby  
Somewhere over the rainbow  
Blue birds fly  
And the dreams that you dared to dream  
Really do come true,’ 

I sang my heart out to the song that was probably meant for Frank, who would never heard it. Once I was done with the singing, I looked forward to the class staring at me, then clapping really loudly.

“That was awesome, Mr. Way! Nice voice! Looks like dress up helped your inner Dorothy come out!” yelled Bob. I rolled my eyes at him and refrained from giving him the finger. I glanced out the little window on the door and thought I saw a glimpse of Frank’s face, smiling at me. But maybe I just wanted to see him that badly.


	27. Gerard Way is a Hopeless Romantic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gerard does some realizing.

It’s March now. Three months since Frank last dismissed his cadets. I’ve tried to ignore Frank’s absence, but I find that it’s really hard. Before, I was so angry with him, and I thought that now that he’s gone, I could just forget about him and focus on Ray, but it’s even harder than I ever imagined. I sigh in frustration as I look down at my phone at the last messages I tried sending him.

Me: _How is the new school, Frankie?_

That was a few days after he left.

Me: _I hope you’re doing okay._

That was a few weeks ago.

He never answered them, naturally. I wasn’t expecting one. It was the way he was. I stared down at my own copy of the Wizard of Oz in my hands and tossed it on the couch beside me. There was nothing tying us together anymore. I wasn’t going to see him unless he allowed it. I could search and search and search and he’d be like a ghost. He wouldn’t reveal himself to me unless it felt it was necessary. I suppose it’s all for the best though. He and I were too different.

Ray and I have gotten closer. There have been a few times where we have almost kissed, but we stopped just before our lips touched. Although it’s slightly frustrating, I understand that I have to wait. I check the time on my phone. It’s almost time to pick up Ray. Yesterday, he asked if I wanted to spend some time together. I normally don’t do anything on Sundays except for relaxing, but I wouldn’t mind spending the time with him. I pulled on some nicer looking clothes, grabbed the things I needed, and grabbed my keys before heading out the door.

On the drive over, I wanted so badly to listen to my Beatles album, but I would have too many memories of that short little bastard in my mind. I took a deep breath, trying to get rid of the rising anger inside of me as I came to a stop a block away from his house. Ray came outside, waving at my happily. I waved back and, this time, I allowed him to get inside. I’m pretty cautious this close to his home.

“So where did you want to go?” He asked. I smiled.

“Don’t worry. I have the entire day planned out for us. Leave it all up to me!” I said. He was silent for a moment, before finally speaking.

“How are you single?” He asked. The question caught me off guard, but I had an answer.

“Well, as you can probably tell, this town isn’t the kindest toward gay people. You saw how they treated Frank.” He tensed at his name.

“I wonder how he’s doing wherever he’s at,” he spoke softly. I reached over and grabbed his hand, holding it tightly. He squeezed back.

“So, other than Jealousy, what happened between you two?” I asked. He shrugged.

“He tried winning me back. I’ll tell you, Gerard, he is a persistent little bastard,” he laughed. I nodded in agreement, because it was true.

“Eventually it became too much, and I couldn’t stand it. I wanted him to stop. So that’s how I came to being a complete asshole to him. It was just to make him stop. I feel terrible about it, because eventually, it became habit. I didn’t have to keep doing it and I did…” He mumbled sadly. I squeezed his hand tightly.

“I’m sure he isn’t holding a grudge. He doesn’t seem like the type,” I said. It was true. He only really held terrible feelings for his parents. He loves Ray.

“You don’t know Frank…” He mumbled. I wanted to chuckle, because I knew him more than he did. “His parents were terrible to him. I went over to his house once and I spent the night there. We were, like, 13 and he made us dinner, Gerard. I’m not talking about the warm up some mac and cheese, I’m talking, like, he used spices and did some professional shit. They had all this fancy looking food, if I can even call it that and so that’s what we ate. It was good, I remember that. Anyway, we were watching movies in the living until about two in the morning when his parents came home,” he said as he looked out of his window. I listened closely, not wanting to miss out on anything about Frank.

“His parents just looked at us. They didn’t smile, say hi, wave, or even nod in acknowledgement! They just looked and went upstairs. Frank’s whole atmosphere, like, the vibe he was giving off, changed the entire time they were in the room. He went from a welcoming and calming air to something so cold. That was the only time I witnessed his relationship with his parents. He never allowed me to go over again, or, at least, stay the night. He was always so… different around his parents,” he explained. Ray didn’t know the story of why Frank was the way he was with them, he assumed.

“I know it’s sad, Ray, but some people aren’t meant to be parents,” I said.

“I understand, but Frank deserved to be happy,” he said sadly.

“Okay, let’s get off of a sad subject. We’re almost there,” I told him.

“And where is ‘there’?” He asked. I glanced at him, giving him a little smirk.

“Well, you’ll just have to wait, sweetheart,” I said. We drove for a little while longer in silence with nothing but the radio playing. I looked at the time on my dash. It would be a few more hours before the sun went down. Things were going to plan, causing me to smile. Suddenly, I felt lips being connected to the back of my hand. I looked over at Ray and noticed his smile behind my hand. I blushed deeply, not expecting him to do that. I stared at him as we came to a stop light and smiled shyly thinking about how beautiful he looked in that moment.

The light turn green and I pulled into a dirt road. This was my parent’s property and they passed it down to Mikey and I. It was our family lake. I come here every once in a while to take a trip to my childhood. I’ve wanted to take Frank here, but that was before everything went to shit.

 

“Where are we?” Ray asked again, then he groaned. “Oh, God, you’re not going to kill me, are you?” He asked, hint of a smirk playing on his lips. I laughed.

“Ah, shit! How did you guess?” I said. He laughed. We came to a stop right by the lake. It looked decent, and I, once again, felt the rush of my childhood coming to me. It made me miss Mikey all the more, and I wanted to cry, but I refrained from doing so in front of Ray. We got out the car as I popped the trunk. I pulled out, call me a hopeless romantic, a picnic basket and a blanket. Ray smiled at me.

“A picnic? You’re so cute.”

“I’d only do this for you,” I lied, smiling. He blushed. In my mind, I was only seeing Frank and I didn’t know why. I really, really liked Ray, but I wasn’t stupid. I knew I felt something for Frank, I just didn’t think it was this strong. I set everything down on the grass near the lake and then proceeded to lay the blanket out.

“Aren’t you the romantic one?” Ray chuckled. I grabbed his hand and walked him over, taking my shoes off next to the blanket and walking on it. He did the same and we sat down, him leaning his head on my shoulder. It was relaxing, yet quite odd. I knew it was wrong, but I was comparing him to Frank. If I were with him right now, I’d be the one with my head on his shoulder; he probably would’ve been the one to lead me somewhere. Because he had so much confidence to possess that authority, I would more than likely listen to anything he said and feel safe. Frank was my security blanket, and I wasn’t sure what I was. I had to mean something to him, after all, he wouldn’t have done all the things he had if he didn’t. The Wizard of Oz DVD, the holding my finger, the hug, the crying, the smiling, the laughing, the cooking dinner together, the pillow fight, sleeping in the same bed, and everything else. It was us, but I was toxic for him. It was unhealthy, what we have. Or what we _could_ have.

“Gerard?” Ray asked, snapping me out of my thoughts. I hadn’t even realized that I was spaced out until now.

“Yeah?” I said. He gave me a small frown.

“Are you okay?” He asked. It was weird. I felt an odd connection with this man. I felt close, yet distant with him, which didn’t make any sense to me. He knew things about me, things I preferred, so to say, but I knew nothing of his preferences. I wasn’t paying enough attention to him, and that was wrong of me. I needed to do better, but… I wanted to see Frank more than anything. _Right now_.

But I didn’t move.

“Yeah. Let's eat,” I said as I held up the basket. He smiled and nodding, giving my cheek a quick kiss, causing me to blush. I looked over at him and saw Frank for a second before I blinked and he was gone. I shoved it to the back of my mind. He wasn’t going to get inside my head right now. Absolutely not.

But he was. My entire time with Ray, I was thinking about Frank. What is he doing right now? Is he happier than he was before? Is he sad? And the important one, to me… Is he thinking about me just as much? Am I driving him as crazy as he’s driving me? Or has he found someone at his new school to fill his thoughts?

I am such a fucking teenager. It makes me want to vomit.

Soon, the sun began to set, and it was time to pack up because the mosquitoes were absolutely horrible around that time. We packed up and I tossed everything in the truck. Ray’s face was smiling but the air around him was frowning, if that makes sense. I walked over to his side and opened the door for him.

“Thanks,” he mumbled. After closing the door, I let out a deep sigh. I’ve upset him. I have the rest of the drive back to mend things, or have him be like to me for who knows how long. I got inside the car and started it, looking over at him. He was looking outside the window or staring at it. I reversed and, soon, we were back on the main road. I reached over and put my hand on his lap, causing him to look at me.

“Yes?” He asked.

“I’m sorry if I seemed to distant. I’ve had a lot of things on my mind, but that’s no excuse. I’ll be better,” I explained. Again, if I were with Frank, he’d probably be telling me the words I’m saying myself. He gave me a little smile and put his hand on mine.

“No, I’m sorry for being such a diva about it. I understand that you have things going on, Gerard. I don’t expect you to drop them for me.” I smiled. He’s understanding. Frank would’ve made a smartass comment, causing us to bicker like an old married couple whilst trying to hide our smiles. I was tense around Ray. I am relaxed around Frank. I needed to _stop_ comparing, but I can’t. Everything I thought about led up to that.

We sat in silence the rest of the way to his house. Before getting out, he looked over at me and opened his arms for a hug. I smiled and opened my arms in return as I moved towards him. Before I could register what had happened, he was already saying bye and getting out of the car. I sat there for a moment before looking in the mirror and touching my lips.

He kissed me.

I needed to see Frank. Right now.

I drove to his apartment, feeling like I betrayed him. I liked Ray, yes, but.. I think I _love_ Frank. I put my hand to my forehead and sighed in frustration. I’m so fucking confused.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Feedback would be pretty great :)) No pressure though


	28. I Knew This Was Coming. Didn't You?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I found this chapter satisfying and then not. Either way, _finally_.

I drove over to Frank’s apartment as calmly as I could bring myself to be. When I finally parked in the shitty parking lot, I took a couple of deep breaths before getting out and dragging my feet up to his door. I was nervous. I wasn’t even sure of what I was doing here, but I knew I had to see him. I knocked on his door a few times, but he hadn’t answered yet.

“He ain’t home,” I heard someone say. I looked down and saw an older lady, maybe in her 50’s, staring up at me. She looked nice, and I was thankful that Frank had a nice neighbor.

“Oh,” was all I could think to say.

“He’s at work. I don’t know what time he’ll be back. I know it’ll be late, though.”

“Where does he work?” I asked. Maybe I could go see him there instead of stalking around his home until he got out.

“Across the street,” she answered, pointing behind her to the taquerilla he’d mentioned to me for directions.

“Thank you, ma’am. Are you his neighbor?”

“Neighbor and landlady. I saw you here a while ago, but I ain’t seen you in a while. You his relative?” She asked. I sensed a bit of a southern accent, and it made me feel relaxed because it reminded me of when my grandma would tell me and Mikey stories. I smiled.

“No. I’m a friend of his,” I responded. She nodded thoughtfully.

“Well, maybe you can mention to him that it’s okay to take a break every now and then. That poor soul, leavin’ before the sun comes up and comin’ home well after it’s gone down. Every day, too,” she explained. I put my hand to my mouth. He needs to take care of himself. He’s, no doubt, in the JROTC program at this school, working, and participating in events his class takes part of outside of school.

“I’ll definitely let him know, ma’am, thank you,” I said. She gave me a sweet smile and walked back inside her home. I looked over at his workplace, staring off into space at it before walking down the steps and across the parking lot, across the street. I walked inside and was immediately greeted with a loud chatter, the clinking of plates, and the smell of freshly cooked fajitas. I looked around for Frank as I walked over to an empty booth at the back of the restaurant. I spotted him as I was sitting down. He was currently taking the order of the family in the booth next to me. He had what looked to be a genuine smile on my face, but I knew it was fake. His eyes had dark circles under them, and he looked way too thin and frail, like he hadn’t eaten in weeks. I felt my heart clench and tears prick at my eyes. I made a move to rub my eyes, but then Frank looked over at me and his smile faltered. I gave him a weak smile, but he only looked back at the family and continued taking their order until they were finally done. Then he made his way over to me.

“What are you doing here?” He asked. Still straight to the point, I like that. I smiled.

“I wanted to see how you were doing,” I responded.

“Yeah, I got that. I meant to ask, how did you know I worked here?” Good question.

“Your landlady. I went by your apartment, and she told me you were working here. Nice lady.” He nodded in agreement.

“Well, I’m fine.”

“Frank, you look like shit,” I said. He sighed.

“Look, I get off at midnight. If you’d be willing to wait around, we can talk then,” he said. I nodded.

“But you have to order something.” Of course I do. I picked up the menu from the table and looked it over.

“What’s good here?” I asked. He leaned over and flipped to a page and randomly pointed at one.

“That one.” I rolled my eyes.

“So I take it you lie to every customer who asks that?” I asked. He smirked.

“It hasn’t failed me so far,” he argued.

“All right, then I’ll get that with a sweet tea.” I watched as he wrote it down. He looked so focused.

“All right. I’ll be right back with your drink,” he said. He walked away and went to take the order of another couple before returning to the front and getting a tray full of drinks and passing them out the family next to me, and then going back before returning with my drink.

“Your order will be right out, Gerard,” he said as he gave me a smile before walking away. I pulled out my phone to check the time. 8 in the afternoon, oh joy. I then realized I had a message from Ray.

Ray: _I really hope I didn’t make you feel uncomfortable. I’m sorry, Gerard._

He sent me that about half an hour ago. I should probably answer him so he doesn’t get worried. Honestly, I didn’t even know how I felt about him kissing me. I don’t think I really felt anything. No rush, no spark, no “this is right” feeling. Just, nothing. I liked Ray, I was sure of that. But looking over at Frank right now, watching him carrying a full tray of food in one hand and two drinks in the other, I knew I loved him. I smiled softly as I watched him. He was exhausted and that was obvious. Whenever he talked, his voice didn’t hold as much power as it used to and that broke my heart. His confidence, although still there, wasn’t as noticeable as it used to be. It looked like these past three months had really kicked his ass, and I didn’t even know. I suddenly snapped back to look at my phone as I remember that I needed to answer Ray.

Me: _Don’t be sorry. It’s okay. I’m sorry I didn’t answer sooner. I’ve been grading papers._

I sighed. I didn’t like lying. It always made me feel uncomfortable, but I knew I couldn’t tell him all about me and Frank because that was sure to cause problems. Between them mainly.

Ray: _Okay, I’ll you go then. I’m heading to bed. Goodnight!_

Me: _Good night, dear._

I put my phone up and slowly drank my tea. When I was almost done with it, Frank came over and refilled it after setting my plate of food down.

“Here you go. If you find yourself not liking it, then, well, oops,” he chuckled. I smiled. I missed hearing that sound. Without realizing, I’d brought my hand to touch my ear, wanting to hear his laugh.

“Does your ear hurt?” He asked. I quickly pulled my hand away.

“Oh, no. Just itched,” I explained.

“I just ordered some food, so I’m going to be sitting with you on my break.” I nodded and he walked away after giving me a small smile. I was really happy that I could have dinner with him again. My only problem was that I was afraid. This was still sort of close to the school, so anyone could show up. Anyone. I shrugged the negative feel off of me, and instead focused my time with Frank. I waited patiently for the next half hour for him to come to me.

“You haven’t eaten yet?” He asked as he looked at my full plate of food.

“No. I wanted to eat with you,” I said. He flashed me a small smile and started eating his food. Rather… _fast_.

“Make sure you chew your food, Frank,” I said jokingly. I was still worried. He seemed starved.

“I got paid today, so I can also eat. So I’ll take my chances of choking, thank you very much.”

“How often do you eat?” I asked. He just shrugged his shoulders and then swallowed his food as he down his entire cup of water. Jesus Christ. I reached over and put my hand on his wrist, causing him to look up at me.

“Yes?”

“A shrug isn’t an answer, Frankie.” He sighed and set his fork down.

“I eat whenever I first get my paycheck. Then I eat whenever I manage to get some free food from here,” he explained as he looked anywhere but me.

“You look way too skinny. You need to eat more,” I said.

“I’m doing what I have to in order to stay out of my parent’s house.”

“I want you to live with me. I offered,” I almost shouted.

“Gerard, I know you and Ray are doing better. Has he been over to your house?” He asked. I hesitantly nodded my head.

“See? Imagine if I was staying there. “Oh, hey, Ray. Don’t mind me. I just live here with your boyfriend.”? No. Things would go terribly wrong for you guys. I’m not needed around there,” he murmured.

“We’re not da-“

“Yes, you may as well be.”

“How do you even know any of this? You haven’t spoken to me since you left!” I argued.

“Because I…” He sighs and continues eating his food.

“Because you what?” I asked. He squinted in eyes as if he thought about something painful.

“Nothing. It’s not even important anymore,” he answered. I pulled my hand away and sighed. I picked up my fork and started eating. We ate in silence until he stood up.

“My break is over. Like I said, if you want to wait, I get out in, like, three and a half hours.” Then he walked away. I wonder what it is that he wanted to say. Despite knowing him really well, I can never tell what’s about to come out of his mouth next; it’s so frustrating.

Those three and a half hours go by quicker than I thought, which was surprising. But I spent my entire time watching Frank, until I realized that I looked like I was stalking him.

“Well, come on in. Other than checking on me to see how I was doing, what else made you come here?” He asked as we walked inside his apartment. He knew me just as well.

“Ray kissed me earlier today,” I said. I was conflicted about telling him, but I figured I may as well just do it. He raised a brow at me.

“Is that so? Okay, well, that’s good. Was that all?” He asked. I shook my head.

“Well, then what is it?” I took a deep breath. It was now or many, many years from now. I know nothing can become of us. We’re going in completely different directions and he’s so determined to get where he’s going.

“I love you,” I said.

“I know,” He answered. I gave a small laugh. Yeah, that sounds about right.

“But I love you, too.” I quickly looked back up to him after having avoided his stare.

“I’d hoped so,” I answered, my heart pounding in my chest at the way he was looking at me. Eyes so soft, as if looking at me too hard would break me, like I was precious to him. “So what now?” I smiled.

“Stay the night with me,” he said, smiling a sincere smile at me. I didn’t care how demanding his voice sounded. I didn’t care that he and I both needed to be at school tomorrow. I didn’t care as long as I could have one more night with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for readin'! Sorry their confession probably wasn't worth the wait, but I had to keep them both in character, for the most part. Feedback would be amazing :))


	29. Champagne Supernova

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tiny tiny ounce of smut

Frank and I sat on his couch watching movies while he had his arm tucked between me and the couch, holding me by my waist. Because he was a bit… smaller than me, I had to lean to the side in order to rest my head on his shoulder. I felt a bit odd being this way with Frank, but it also felt right.

“Gerard?” He asked, half way through the Boondock Saints. I looked over at him and smiled. He returned it, causing my cheeks to heat up.

“I’m going to be straightforward with you, okay?” He said. I laughed.

“You’re nothing but straightforward, Frankie,” I giggled. He chuckled, playfully pushing me.

“Yeah, yeah. Just listen,” he said, becoming serious again. I nodded for him to continue.

“I want you to sleep with me.” I blinked.

“Yeah, that’s what I’m going to do,” I said, confused. He stared at me for a moment, before it finally clicked in me. Oh! I blushed harder than I thought to be possible.

“But… You’re not of age,” I protested.

“I’m 18, Gerard.” I bit my lip. I wanted to make love to him, I do. But I don’t want him to regret it.

“You’re a student,” I argued again.

“But not _your_ student. It’s not illegal.” I stayed silent. You couldn’t blame me for hesitating. He’d been my student for four years, or rather three and a half, and now he wants to make love.

“Do you…” he spoke lowly, “not… want me?” He sounded so small and insecure that it hurt my heart. I quickly pulled him into my arms and buried my face in the crook of his neck. 

“Of course I want you!” I said. I squeezed him tighter until he pulled himself back and kissed me with more love and passion than I ever thought Frank Iero was capable of. I felt like I was being suffocated with this feeling of content released all throughout my entire body. It was like I could sit here all day with my head leaning on his shoulders, watching great movies, debating with him about literally everything, and sharing moments of heated passion like this for the rest of my life. It was a scary feeling that I hadn’t been able to feel with anyone since my ex, but that was years ago and it didn’t matter anymore. What mattered was the man sitting next to me, holding onto me and kissing me like I would disappear if he stopped anytime soon. 

I felt his tongue shyly lick my lower lip, and I immediately granted him access, letting him battle my tongue for dominance. I’m not sure if I was all that thrilled about how experienced he was, but it worked in my favor right now so I’ll ignore it. We parted slowly, staring into one another’s eyes. I felt a huge sense of pride with how red he was turning. I’d made Frank Iero blush and that was something I would proudly brag about. 

“Gerard,” he nearly moaned. My breath hitched and I felt that swirling feeling in my lower stomach shooting straight to my manhood, causing me to shift to get release against my jeans. He looked down at my lap and smirked. I was expecting him to do something to me, but, instead, he turned back to the movie and continued watching. 

What an asshole. 

“Once this movie ends, I’m taking you,” he said as he kept his gaze on the screen. I looked down at his lap and saw that he, too, was aroused. I looked to the screen and saw that Yakavetta had just killed Rocco, which meant the movie was about ten minutes from end. 

“The movie is that interesting?” I asked, lightly softly. He cracked a interesting. 

“You’re the movie slut here, so you should understand,” he answered. I laughed. 

“Seems I’ve been rubbing off on you, Frankie,” I teased. 

“It wouldn’t be the first time.” I blushed, knowing that he was talking about the time he walked in on me in the restroom. He laughed when I didn’t answer. I sighed contently and laid my head on his shoulder again, thinking to myself that he was comfortable. I almost jumped up in surprise when he laid his head down on mine in return, but I managed to stay calm and smile so big that it hurt my cheeks. He rested his hand on my thigh and rubbed it with his thumb. It wasn’t at all meant in a sexual way, but as a sign of affection. We watched the rest of the movie in silence, the only sounds made were Connor, Murphy, and their father reciting their prayer before killing Yakavetta and our steady breathing. Both of our arousals had disappeared and I knew tonight would just be spent sleeping. As much as I wanted the man sitting next to me, I was completely fine with waiting. After all, we had plenty of time to- 

_Oh._

No. No, we don’t. As the reminder was brought back to me, Frank stood and took the DVD out and returned it to its case before turning to look at me. 

“What’s wrong?” He asked. I shook my head and smiled up at him. 

“No, it’s nothing,” I said. He didn’t seem convinced by left it alone. I was thankful for that, because I probably would’ve started sobbing. He held his hand out to me and I took it, rising from his couch. As I tried my best to swallow the lump in my throat, he led me to what I assumed was his room. It was small but cozy, much like him. 

“So are you going to tell me what’s wrong or do I have to read your mind?” He asked as he began stripping, staring with his shirt. He looked skinnier than he used to, his bones showing a bit, but he was still healthy enough. Tomorrow, I’ll go and do some shopping for him before leaving. He needs to take care of himself, because I won’t be here to do that. I also couldn’t deny that he probably could read my mind. 

He sighed as he finally came down to his boxers. He walked over to me and wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me into him. I slowly wrapped my arms around his shoulders and didn’t try to stop the tears from coming. He rubbed my back softly, quietly shushing me and it overwhelmed me, because I wasn’t used to this affection from him. I wanted more. I pulled away from him slightly and grabbed his face, crushing my lips to his. He ran his hands through my hair and tugged lightly, causing me to let out a breathy moan. I felt his smirk once again before he walked me back into the bed and pushed me down. 

“Frank,” I moaned as he climb on top of me and softly grinded down into my erection, “Not enough contact.” He pulled off my shirt, practically ripping it off of me before moving down to my pants. He slid off of me to pull my pants down, leaving me, too, in my boxers only. 

“Really? Superman?” He teased. I giggled. 

“They were cool,” I shrugged. Very provocatively, he climbed over me with his eyes never leaving mine before leaning down and licking from my collarbone to my jaw. Fucking tease. 

“You’re my superman,” he whispered very softly against my ear, causing me to shiver with want. He moved his hand down my abdomen and stopped right on my manhood, rubbing it painfully slow. I moved my hips up against his hand, trying to get some type of release. I looked down at his hand moving on, but quickly looked up when I felt water hitting my chest. Frank was crying. This wasn’t his normal expressionless crying. No. His lips trembled slightly, his eyebrows knitted together in pain, his eyes stared into mine and I could see nothing but unbearable pain coming from them. I swiftly sat up and embraced him tightly, allowing myself to cry with him. Together, our sobs left our mouths and bounced off the plain white wall causing our pain to echo back at us. 

“I love you,” I repeated to him over and over with a hidden meaning of “I’m sorry,” sounding in the background. I knew he understood what I meant. He knew me too well. We laid down clinging to each other until sleep overtook us. Just before I completely dozed off, I heard him say something. It wasn’t until I had already left reality that I realized what he said. 

“Never leave me, please.” He was begging me to stay, but he and I both understood that I had to leave. He was leaving to basic in a few months, and it reminded me too much of Mikey. I also came to the conclusion that the only thing keeping us apart, was me. It had always been me. 

I just didn’t want to lose him like Mikey. But, in a way, I already had. 


	30. Gone With the Wind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gerard has issues with a couple of movies and he really loves Frank, who also happens to now call him "babe."

When I opened my eyes, they felt puffy and swollen. I wanted nothing more than to fall back asleep in the arms of the man sleeping next to me, but I needed to go shopping for him before he stopped me. I looked at the time. 7:30 am. I smiled and slowly slipped out of bed, trying not to wake Frank up. As I stood over him, I stared down at him face and memorized as much of it as I could before turning to find my clothes. I dressed quickly and went back to the living room to leave him a note.

_I haven’t left yet. I only went to get food. I’ll be back._

_Eternally Yours,  
Gerard_

I left the note on top of the kitchen counter and slipped my shoes on before heading out. As I was walking down the steps, I heard the landlady come out.

“Hello, ma’am,” I said as I came closer to her. She gave me a sweet smile.

“Mornin’, dear. Lovely seein’ you here,” she said sweetly.

“Yes, I decided Frank should take a day off from school. He deserves it,” I say. She nods in agreement. We idly chat for a little bit, before I decided to take off.

“It was great talking to you, Evelyn. I need to head over to the market to get Frank some things for the house,” I said as I waved goodbye at her. She waved back as I turned away and got inside my car. I quickly drove to the nearby market and made sure I had everything in my wallet before getting out of the car and walking inside. I grabbed a basket and wandered through the aisles.

“All right. What does he like?” I mumbled to myself. I grabbed some snacks that he could take with him to school like poptarts, crackers, those amazing Uncrustable things, and fruit snacks. Then I got quick dinner things like mac and cheese, pastas, microwaveable dinner plates, fruit, then some things to drink like Sprite, juice, and that Nectar stuff I used to see him drink during lunch at school. After I got everything food wise, I went over and got him some house things like pots and pans, a cutting board, knives, forks, spoons, and butter knives. Walking to the checkout lane, I spotted some cute decorative poster tins and went through them. I nearly screamed when I saw one of the Wizard of Oz. I quickly pulled it out and put it in the basket. The next one in the row was of the Beatles and I grabbed that one, too.

“Well, that worked out. Our two favorite things next to each other,” I said happily as I walked to the checkout lane. As the lady was checking me out, I noticed it was a student of mine. We exchanged looks.

“Aren’t you supposed to be in school?” I asked her. It was the girl with long black hair who always wore bright red lipstick. She pulled it off really well. Her name was Lindsey. She gave me a smirk.

“Aren’t _you_?” She retorted. I smiled and gave her that one.

“Good one. But, no, I understand. A job is really more important, to be honest,” I said as she was scanning everything. She looked over at everything I had.

“Are you moving, Mr. Way?” She asked. I, too, looked over at my stuff, and then back to her before shaking my head.

“No. These are for, um,” I paused. What was Frank to me? Fuck it. “My boyfriend,” I finished. She gave me a bit of a shocked look before smiling.

“I knew you were too good looking to be straight,” she laughed. I felt myself blushing at her statement before shaking my head in disagreement.

“Hardly,” I laughed. She finished scanning and bagged everything before giving my total. I handed over my card and let her do her thing as I put everything in my basket.

“Here you go, Mr. Way. Have a good day with your boyfriend,” she said as she gave me a wink. I chuckled and walked away after waving to her. She was a good student, but I understand that young people are put into difficult situations. For example, when I was younger, I looked over my brother because our parents were always working and it was up to me to make sure he never got hurt. Although I failed to do so in the long run, I also understood that there was no point in blaming myself. I now needed to live for Mikey and my parents and make sure that I lived life to the fullest for all of us.

As I was putting the bags into my car, I realized that I hadn’t really done anything extraordinary. Sure, I teach young adults the importance of literature, but where is my passion for that anymore? I’ve been wanting to get back into drawing again. The comic book I’d once slaved over now rested in a drawer under a stack of old papers that I’d graded. I sigh as I start my car. Maybe after Frank leaves, I could go back to that until he comes back.

_If_ he comes back. He’d mentioned that he probably wasn’t. Since this was our last day together, I needed to make the most of it. As I parked in his apartment parking lot, I banged my head against the steering wheel. Why does this have to be so fucking frustrating?

I was doing things on autopilot. I don’t even remember the drive back to his apartment. I grabbed the bags from the backseat and made my way upstairs, knocking on the door when I came to a stop in front of it. He quickly swung the door open and looked from my face to the bags in my hand.

“What’s this?” He asked as he stepped aside, letting me pass. I put the bags on the table and turned to face him with my hand on my hip.

“Well, Mr. Iero, I thought I’d get you some food and other necessities,” I said before turning back to the bags and putting everything up.

“How long will you stay?” He asked. I kept my back to him and shrugged my shoulders.

“As long as you want me to,” I said softly. I smiled, biting my lip whenever he came and wrapped his arms around my waist.

“I want you to stay for a long time,” he mumbled against my shoulder. I turned around and put my arms around his neck, kissing his forehead.

“Then I’ll stay for a long time.” He smiled and leaned in for a kiss. I licked my lips and closed the distance between us. After pulling away, he finally spotted the tin posters and smiled brighter.

“Where did you find these?” He asked, picking them up.

“The market down the road,” I said as looked around his living room, trying to find a good spot for them. “Any idea where you wanna hang them, Frankie?” I asked. He looked around and pointed above his television.

“Right there?” I asked. He nodded.

“That way I can admire them while watching movies,” he explained with an almost pain expression. I understood what he meant. These two things pretty much summed up our entire relationship, no matter how brief it was. The Wizard of Oz being our movie and the Beatles being our band. He wanted to see them and think of me while doing what we normally did: watch movies.

“What movie did you feel like seeing today?” I questioned. He went over to his small stack of DVDs and searched as if he had the perfect movie in mind.

“This one! I haven’t seen this one yet!” He said, showing me the cover.

“Gone With the Wind? That’s, like, two minutes away from four hours, you know that, right?” I made sure. I didn’t know how long it was the first time I watched it and ended up staying up most of the night because I couldn’t stop watching. I was so angry toward the end of it that I was yelling at my screen for the rest of the movie. I’d watched it with Mikey during his three day leave, when he came home. And the last time I saw him. I missed my brother. He was coming into my head more. I hadn’t done anything great enough for the both of us; it was more like he was the great one, which, yeah, he was, but I needed to do something for us as well.

“Babe?” He said, causing me to snap out of my thoughts. I looked around, not sure if he was calling me that or not. Frank Iero doesn’t call people ‘babe,’ does he?

“Y-yes?” I answered hesitantly. He gave me a thoughtful look.

“You were spaced out. I was just wondering if everything was okay,” he questioned. I shook my head.

“I’ve been thinking about Mikey a lot more lately. I miss him enormously,” I confessed. We’d never really gone in depth into the topic of my little brother, but I guess now was as good a time as any.

“What was he like?” He asked as we took a seat on his couch. I smiled.

“He was so clumsy and geeky, but amazing and just so,” I sighed and turned my head to look at him, “You would have loved him, Frankie.” He grabbed my hand and kissed each one of my knuckles.

“I think I would have, too. He’s your brother, Gerard. I would love your family, even if they hated me,” he acknowledged. I blushed at his words. They were so _raw_. They’d always been.

“They’d have loved you. I have no doubt about that,” I said. It was true. They would’ve loved how strong and confident in himself he was. They would have laughed and admired how straightforward he was about everything, but, more than anything, they would have loved how, when he cared about something, he truly cared for it with all his being. Frank is an amazing person, and I’m truly happy that he loves me out of the other billions of people in the world no matter how selfish that sounds.

“You really think so, Gee?” I froze at the nickname. No one has called me that since Mikey, but it caused me to smile at the familiarity. I nodded as I leaned over to give his cheek a kiss.

“That’s all I get?” He asked, crossing his arms over his chest. I laughed and put my arm around him, briefly hugging him before grabbing the remote and pressing play for him.

“For now, yeah. Do you have work today?” I asked. He nodded and looked at his watch.

“I work at 6 tonight. Short shift,” he mumbled. I refrained from sighing. I knew what that meant. After he left for work, I’d have to leave him. _No. Don’t think about that right now, Gerard. Enjoy your time. It’s only a little after eight._

“Well, prepare yourself for a lot of bullshit in this movie,” I huffed. I was still angry. I mean, come on! Ashlee kept saying the entire fucking time that he didn’t want to be with Scarlet! I will never get over it. I looked over at Frank as he put his arm around me and was surprised to see that he had an amused look on his face.

“What?” I asked, pouting. He gave a small laugh.

“You’re still not over how this movie is, are you?” He asks.

“Well, of course not! Just watch it. You’ll see,” I said. It’s like how I’m always going to be bitter about Jack dying in the Titanic. I’m always going to be bitter about Scarlet not getting her shit together. It’s just how I work. Frank chuckled and focused on the movie as the opening came up.

“Whatever you say, babe,” he laughed. I blushed. He really did call people that. Ray, you lucky son of a bitch, I thought. He was the first person Frank spoke so sweetly to, but that doesn’t matter, because I’m the person he’s with now. I sighed contently as I leaned into his side. I don’t even care how much of a teenage girl I sound like when I’m with him, because it’s pretty much how I feel. I think it suddenly hit me then that I was playing hooky with an 18 year old student so he and I could cuddle on his couch while watching drama movies, because I suddenly worried if he was uncomfortable being with a 28 year old man. I felt myself stiffen at his side, and I know he sensed it, because he was looking at me. Then his hand was on my knee.

“Gerard, what’s wrong?” He asked. I hesitated for a moment. This could lead to a fight.

“Should we really,” I paused, looking at anything but him, “Be doing this?” Suddenly the warmth of his hand disappeared.

“What are you afraid of?” He asked. His voiced was almost strained, as if he were in pain. I forced myself to look at him.

“I’m afraid of you leaving me,” I murmured. He raised his hands to rest on my cheeks, and gave me a soft look. He didn’t answer. Instead, he pushed his lips against mine and pulled me closer to him. I instantly pushed against him, wanting more contact.

“I love you,” he whispered against my lips as he settled himself on my lap, straddling me. I wrapped my arms around his waist and pulled him closer to me.

“I love you, too, Frankie,” I murmured against his shoulder. We stayed staring at each other for a while before the sound of my stomach growling broke us out of our trance. Frank looked down at my stomach and smiled at me.

“Sorry. Guess I’m hungry,” I giggled. He raised himself off of me and headed into the kitchen after giving my forehead a kiss. I bit my lip, trying to hide my smile at his act. He really was very unpredictable, but that was one of the many things I loved about him. There was never a boring moment with Frank.

“Um, I have ramen?” He suggested. I smiled.

“Sounds great. Make it with love?” I asked, fluttering my eyes at him. He laughed and shook his head.

“Yeah, only for you.” I smiled at sat back, watching the movie.

 

“So, you seem to be happy,” he asked as he watched me eat the ramen. I nodded, slurping on the noodles.

“Of course,” I said. “You made this for me.” He sighed contently and leaned back into the couch, putting his arm around me.

“What?! C’mon, Scarlet! He’s been telling you that since fucking day _one_!” I laughed as Frank yelled at his television.

“I told you.” He turned to me, almost pouting.

“Oh, shut up. I didn’t think it would be this bad,” he huffed. I looked at the time and it was already noon. I felt myself get upset, but quickly pushed it away. Suddenly, Frank yawned and stood, pulling me up with him.

“Where are we going?” I asked. He dragged me to his room and undressed to his boxers.

“Frank?” I asked again when he gave me no answer.

“I wanna take a nap with you,” he said as he sleepily climbed into bed. I laughed and undressed to my boxers as well, climbing in next to him. He quickly snuggled into my side and held me tightly. I didn’t even realize I was sleepy until he had his arms around me and kissed my chin before settling in a comfortable spot under my arm.

“Hey, Gerard?” He said when I was about to drift off.

“Hm?” I hummed.

“Never stop loving me,” he whispered, but I heard him clearly. I pulled him into me more, and kissed the top of his head, not daring to open my eyes and look at him.

“I couldn’t even if I tried,” I murmured against his silky locks. I felt his smile in the air around and finally allowed myself to drift off to sleep.


	31. Nothing Has a Point (Liar)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Frank has some explaining to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a lot of dialogue in this chapter.

I slowly walked around the classroom I was assigned to test in. It was the end of the year test, and the kids were soon to begin turning their tests in. The history test never really took too long, which was fine by me, honestly. No offense to history or anything, but sitting in a completely silent room with twenty students who are beyond uncomfortable with the situation as well is in no way ideal. I circled the classroom once more before taking a seat at the desk. I hated doing those rounds, because I know it made the students tense up. It could easily trigger an anxiety attack because they were being watched so closely; it used to do that to me. But I was required to do so. Finally, after sitting for twenty minutes, the first student raises their hand and holds up their test along with the bubble sheet. After that, the next four hours goes by the same. By lunch time, all the kids in my classroom were finished testing.

“All right, all right, settle down. We had a deal guys. You could talk, so long as it was done _quietly_ ,” I reminded them when they started getting a bit too loud for my liking. They all mumbled apologies and carried on, quieter than before. I was eating my own lunch silently by the window in the classroom, staring out into the grey skies; I found that I’d been doing that often for the past two months. I became less enthusiastic when teaching, causing the easy-going atmosphere of my classroom to become depressing. I didn’t even want to be in the same room as myself, so why would the kids want to?

Other than the long, bittersweet kiss shared by Frank and I, no words were exchanged as we parted ways. My relationship with Ray was still going. In fact, today we were going on a date, but that wasn’t why I was in a better mood than usual. Today was the 21st of the month. Every month, on this day, I would get a message from Frank. Yes, we’d promised not to talk to one another, but I had him make me a deal.

“ _Let me know you’re alive every month on the same day and I won’t go looking for you._ ”

He responded with a simple, “ _What if I want you to come looking for me?_ ”

I merely smiled and took his hand, “ _Then you know what to do._ ”

So the last two months, now going on three, he would message me a simple: “Alive and well.” And that was that. Even though I was extremely tempted to message back, I never let myself. I know he understood, because he’d always been an understanding person.

“Mr. Way?” I heard a voice ask. I snapped out of my thoughts and tore my eyes away from the sky to the owner of the voice.

“Yes, Lindsey?” I raised a brow. She pulled a seat up next to my desk and gave me a smile.

“I just wanted to sit with you. You look so hurt. Are you and your boyfriend doing okay?” She asked very quietly, cautious of the other kids near. They weren’t paying any attention to us, which was relieving. I looked into her eyes, causing her to flinch. I suppose my look has gotten cold? I shrugged my shoulders to answer her question, taking another bite of my barely eaten sandwich.

“Mr. Way, you look very, well, deprived, for lack of a better word. I know I’m just a student to you, but I am also a person who feels things. If you need someone to talk to, someone who won’t spread shit, then you can always come to me,” she said, taking a drink of her chocolate milk. Her words didn’t faze me much.

“It’d be inappropriate to share my personal life with you, Ms. Ballato,” I said.

“Why is that? Because I’m 17 and you teach me English? Then would it be considered wrong for an elderly person to pass down their words of wisdom to me at the nursing home I visit because of that reason?” She challenged.

“It’s my secret, Lindsey,” I said, leaning toward her. “And it’s fucked up,” I whispered in her ear. She sat up straighter, nodding her head understandingly. Before she could answer, I changed the subject.

“You visit the local nursing home, then, yeah?” I asked. She beamed and nodded her head enthusiastically.

“Yeah! I’m pretty much the only younger one that visits. Aside from Frank Iero, but he isn’t able to visit as much anymore,” she sighed, almost sadly. I felt my chest clench with jealousy. I bit the inside of my cheek hard to keep from lashing out at her.

“Oh, really? I haven’t seen him in a while. He was a good student. I was sad to hear he transferred,” I said, trying to seem nonchalant.

“Yeah, me too. He never said a word to me about it, but I still see him from time to time, so it’s not all bad. My best friend, Jamia, has the biggest crush on him. I want to see if I can get them together, so I’ve been bringing her with me to the nursing home in hopes of catching him. That way they can talk and maybe hit it off,” she said, a sly smile on her face.

“No!” I found myself yelling. The whole classroom turned to look at us. I quickly recomposed myself, clearing my throat, and the class started their conversations again.

“Um, I heard from students’ gossip that he was gay, and it would be a bit harsh to get Jamia’s hopes up and force him into an awkward situation. Trust me,” I laughed, “I’ve been there.” I tried explaining calmly. Her expression went from shock to terror.

“You really think it’ll be that awkward?” She asked, very concerned.

“Yes,” I nodded. That, and I’m a jealous fuck. He isn’t really completely gay, seeing as he used to have some type of feelings for Jealousy, but I don’t want to risk that. Even if he does say that he’ll love only me, after what happened with my ex, I don’t have that kind of faith in people anymore.

“Whoa, thanks, Mr. Way! That would’ve worked out terribly,” she giggled. I patted her shoulder comfortingly.

“It’s not a problem,” I laughed, clearly relieved.

“I don’t think Jamia knows he’s gay. Or maybe she does, but she’s in denial?” She questioned aloud. I shrugged my shoulders. “You want to know what one of my favorite things to do is?” She questioned again. Well, I didn’t want to be rude and say no.

“Sure,” I said, giving a polite smile.

“People watch. I’ve become pretty damn good at it, Mr. Way. In fact, too good that I know just about everything that goes on around this school,” her voice turned dark and she locked her eyes with mine.

“Is that so?” I said, keeping her gaze. She nodded.

“I know when people are happy, sad, jealous, lost, lying, etc.,” she explained.

“You know, then.” I stated. I knew she wasn’t stupid, but I never knew she was watching me, too.

“Only the basic stuff, you know? I’m not stalking you. Only what I gathered from school, and that one time you came by to shop at the market.”

“And what’s the basic stuff?”

“Although you’re very careful, you’re not careful enough.” It was exactly like Frank said to me earlier on in our “friendship.”

“The fact that you haven’t told yet,” I paused, “It’s safe to assume that my secrets are safe with you?” I asked. I didn’t even care if she went and told, at this point. I found no meaning in anything since Frank and I parted. I’m sure I look disinterested, but I could care less because this didn’t affect me in any way.

“Exactly.” I nodded and continued eating.

“You don’t even look scared,” she observed. I shrugged.

“I found that I’ve no meaning without him by my side,” I said. It was a bit of a vague sentence, but she didn’t need to know that much.

“You love him. What’s stopping you?”

“His choice in career.” She gave a thoughtful look.

“So you, in other words?” I nodded. It was really all me. I wanted so badly to push my feelings for the military away so I could allow myself to be with him, but I couldn’t. Mikey was taken away and I could never have him back. If anything ever happened to Frank, I think that would be the last straw. I fucking love him more than I love anyone, but I just don’t know how to show it. I don’t know how to let myself. Oh, God, I feel like Frank now.

“You need to get your shit together, Mr. Way, and quick or you’ll regret all the time wasted.” And that was the end of the conversation. We finished out lunches and everyone returned to their assigned desks to resume quiet time to allow the rest of the classes to finish testing.

By the end of the day, when the students were filing out of the school, I put my head in my hands, purely exhausted. I didn’t even teach a single fucking thing and I was tired. I wanted nothing more than to go home and crawl into bed with Frank and cuddle the fuck out of him. He’d run his hands through my hair as I fell asleep and, knowing how unpredictable he was, I might even wake up in the middle of the night to him smiling lovingly at me or I could wake up in the middle of the night to him sprawled all over me and the bed. I would love to one day find out which one it would be. Ray walked into the room and froze. Did I look that much like sick?

“Are you getting sick, Mr. Way?”

“I don’t know. I feel like shit. My head is just pounding,” I admitted. That, and my heart feels like it’s being ripped out by a hand covered in salt, jalapeño juice, and thorns. He put his hand on my shoulder and rubbed it affectionately.

“Let’s take a raincheck on the date, yeah? Go home and get rest. Your health is more important. My mom is waiting for me outside, so I need to get going though,” he said. I nodded my head. “I’ll check in on you later. I love you.” Then he leaned down to kiss my head before leaving the classroom. That’s the third time he told me he loved me, and, each time, I only give him a smile. I can’t lie to him like that. I think he understands how difficult it is for me because he’s never once complained or even let his smile falter. He truly is an amazing person. He deserved better than someone half-assing it. I sighed and grabbed my coat. I reached into my pocket and turned my phone one. Not that anyone will call me, but I can never be too safe. I locked my classroom door before leaving the building and climbing into my car in record time. Like I said before, I want nothing more than to go home to Frank. My Frank. But, sadly, I will be going home to a cold house and bed. I drove home and even though I found myself wanting to run my car into the wall of a building, I stopped myself from doing so. Because then Frank would be sad. And I would rather keep suffering than let him do the suffering. Jesus, when did my thoughts get so fucking dark. Before I could even unbuckle my seatbelt, my phone began ringing loudly, causing me to jump. I quickly fumbled for it and answered without looking at the caller.

“Hello?” The connection was slightly jumbled because of the weather.

“Is this Mr. Gerard Way?” The lady on the line spoke.

“Um, yes. Who is this?” I asked. I looked at the screen and it wasn’t a number I recognized but it was the local area code.

“Hello, Mr. Way, I’m calling from the local Methodist Hospital. We have a Mr. Frank Iero here. You were listed as an emergency contact right behind is I.D. Do you know him?” I held my breath. Why was Frank in the hospital? What happened? Did someone hurt him? I’ll knock the motherfucker around.

“Yes. Yes, I know him,” I spoke urgently, starting my car back up. “What’s happened? Is he all right? I’m on my way.”

“Mr. Way, please, calm down. He is fine. He’s collapsed due to exhaustion. His body weight is way below average for his age and height. We’ve given him some fluids to give his body nutrients. The doctor will explain to you in more detail once you arrive. Please, drive safe. The weather is horrible out,” she said kindly.

“Yes, yes, thank you,” I said quickly, hanging up. I sped out of the resident parking and made my way across town. Exhaustion? Way below average? He told me he was _alive and well_! He lied to me! I hit my steering wheel as I caught a red light. He has some fucking explaining to do when he wakes up.


	32. Alive and Well?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They're really cute.

Frank and I stared at one another in silence. I had my arms crossed over my chest and was tapping my left foot slightly. I had a stern look on my face, I made sure of that. He stared up at me, looking so _small_. His eyes look sunk in and his cheek bones were poking out too much. His hospital gown was falling over his frail shoulder, which next lead me to notice how much his collarbones were noticeable.

“Alive and well?” I asked. My heart was falling right out of my chest just looking at his fragile state, but I was still angry. He could’ve died and…and I wouldn’t have even realized how much he needed me. I felt my eyes starting to tear up, but bit my lip to hold them in and will them away.

“I didn’t want you to see me like this,” he stated weakly. I sighed and walked over to him, taking a seat on the edge of the hospital bed. I took his hand and kissed it softly.

“Frank, let me take care of you,” I said. I wasn’t taking no for an answer. He sighed and nodded his head.

“I was about to ask you. Um, my recruiter told me that my drop in weight was a problem. I have to meet a certain weight in order to enter in Infantry. I need you to help me. I know you have problems with my choice in career, but, please, Gerard. This is my dream, and I want the man I love to help me in achieving my goals.” I squeezed his hand tighter. The look in his eyes was full of nothing but love and determination. Did I really want to do this? Did I really want to help him leave me? No, but I wanted to help him in finding his happiness, so I bit back my own sadness and nodded my head, smiling at him. And you know what? The smile I got in return made it all worth it.

“I love you,” he whispered, sleepily. I stroked the side of his head, running my hands through his messy hair.

“I love you, too, Frank. Get some sleep. I’ll be here when you wake up,” I told him, getting a small hum in response. Once I was sure he was in a deep sleep (he has a small snore), I got up and called a nurse to tell me the details of his condition.

“When can I take him home?” I asked the doctor. She was a woman, maybe in her 40’s. She had kind eyes, but years of the stress that comes with being a doctor was evident on her face.

“Mr. Way, are you his relative?” She asked. I shook my head.

“No.”

“I’m afraid I can’t discuss his condition with you. Do you have any way to contact his parents or guardian?” There was no way in fucking hell I was calling those monsters.

“I’m afraid he and his parents don’t have the best relationship. I’m one of his teachers from his old school. I’ve been watching over him for a few months,” I explained.

“I understand. But I still need to contact his parents. I’ll need to talk to Frank whenever he wakes up.” She was tough, but Frank wasn’t going to comply with her request. I gave her a small smirk.

“Have you met Frank, doctor?” I asked. She shook her head.

“Not personally.” I gave a small laugh.

“Oh, you’re going to have a lot of fun getting his parents contact information,” I laughed. I waved to her and returned to Frank’s side. With the doctor knowing I was his old teacher, I became more cautious and decided to sit in the chair next to his bedside, keeping my hands to myself no matter how much I wanted to touch him. I stared at his face and thought over the words he’d only told me five minutes. He was almost giving me an ultimatum. Either help him achieve his happiness or he’ll achieve it without me, and he wanted me to help him. He wanted me to want to help him, and after my conversation with Lindsey, I wanted to help him. I wanted to be with him, not Ray. Although he was really nice and treated me very well, he wasn’t Frank. And I wasn’t going to try and change him. I kicked my feet up on the edge of Frank’s bed, and leaned back in the uncomfortable chair. I stared at the white ceiling and sighed, watching the shine of the sunset coming in through the window shades. It looked like something I wanted to paint. I pulled out my phone and took a picture of it, pocketing my phone once again after.

Hours passed and the sun was fully gone before Frank finally stirred and opened his eyes. I leaned forward and gave him a smile. He returned it before giving me an anxious look.

“How,” he paused, “how long was I out?” He asked cautiously. I internally smirked, but turned my face serious.

“It’s been almost a month now,” I sighed. He shot upwards into a sitting position.

“What?!” He almost yelled. I couldn’t keep my baring, and instead burst out laughing.

“Gerard, you’re such an asshole!” He said, giving my arm a weak punch. His knuckles seemed bonier, quickly reminding me of why he was in here. I had to give him something to eat soon. I grabbed his hand and gave it a squeeze, falling into a moment of silence. We stared into each other’s eyes. I let go of his hand just as the door opened and the doctor walked in.

“Oh, Frank! I thought I heard voices in here. I have a few questions to ask you,” she said. He gave her a nod.

“Gerard, would you like to wait outside for a moment?” She asked. It wasn’t a question; it was a demand. I nodded as I made a move to get up, only to be stopped by Frank’s hand on my forearm.

“ _I_ wouldn’t like that. He stays here. Thank you,” he said sternly. The doctor gave me a questioning look. I gave her the same smile as before in return.

“Okay, then. Frank, I need to contact your pare-” he cut her off.

“No. Absolutely not,” he answered. She seemed taken back. “Look, miss. I’m eighteen. I don’t need those sad excuses for parents here. So if that’s all, I’d like to go home now. Yes, I’ll take better care of myself and all of that, don’t worry. Mr. Way here is going to help me.” She seemed almost as speechless as Luke Skywalker in the Force Awakens. I wanted to laugh.

“I’ll get your paperwork,” she said before dismissing herself and leaving the room. I let out a chuckle.

“You haven’t changed, Frankie.” He shook his head, giving me a smile.

“I’d only change if you wanted me to,” he said.

“And I never ask you to change,” I replied. He smiled bigger.

“Exactly why I would only if you asked me to. I can trust you. I do trust you.” He reached for my hand and held it as tightly as he could, which wasn’t much. He was still so exhausted.

“Whenever we get back to home, I’m feeding you, and you’re going to tell me what happened for the past three months,” I said using my teacher voice. He hung his head.

“Yes, sir,” he murmured in response. I raised a brow.

“Sir?” I questioned. He gave me a smirk.

“I’ll save that for the bedroom,” he said, his voice growing almost husky. I swallowed the saliva that gathered up in my mouth and covered my face with my hands, blushing deeply. He chuckled at me, and I caught it this time.

“Um, thanks for setting aside your fears to help me, Gerard.” I laced my fingers with his and smiled at him.

“Don’t thank me for that. I’d be glad to help you.” He smiled at me. Once again, his smile made everything worth it. A couple of hours later, I was checking him out of the hospital and bringing him back to the apartment.

“I just need to pick up some clothes and stuff, and then talk to my landlady. After that, I need to talk with my management,” Frank said as I helped him out of the passenger seat. Because he was so weak, he needed me to help him walk.

“Hey, how about you pack your clothes, and I’ll head over to the restaurant to explain your situation?” I suggested. He shrugged his shoulders.

“Sure, if you don’t mind.” I smiled and was happy he trusted me with his job. As I got out his suitcase from the closet, I realized all of his clothes were neatly folded on the floor behind those doors. He didn’t even have hangers to hang his clothes, food to eat, and it was so cold in here. How could anyone live here? I was a terrible… boyfriend? I’m not even sure what I am, significant other? Either way, I wasn’t helping him when he needed it. Despite him not even telling me, I should’ve just known. But, instead, I left this eighteen year old senior fend for himself in the real world. It was sick how the system worked. I remembered those years before I became a teacher. I was so determined to be a comic book artist, but my parents weren’t exactly rich, so it became hard to keep supporting me and Mikey on their salaries when I was capable of working. I tried to balance everything: working, sleeping, eating, drawing, and still finding time to think, but before I knew it, I figured if I didn’t sleep too much, I would have more time to draw or think. When that was kind of working for me, I figured I didn’t need to eat that much so more of my money could go to my parents and art supplies I was running low on. As a result, I lost all of the weight I’d gained in my last year of high school and then some, and my passion for drawing had been drowned out due to my hectic work schedule. Anything for more hours to earn more money. That’s how the systems works. You can’t work for your passion without possibly losing it on the way.

I shook my dark thoughts away and gathered each neat stack and placed them in the suitcase. I gathered his underwear and socks and tossed them (neatly) in their as well.

“I feel like that was just an excuse to touch my underwear,” he teased. His voice still sounded weak and so did the little laugh he did after, causing my smile to falter a bit.

“You know me so well,” I said back. I went into his restroom and got his toothbrush and toothpaste (because I was running out of mine) and put them in the little pouch on the door of his suitcase.

“It was really nice of you to pack for me. Thank you, Gerard,” he spoke sincerely. I gave him a smile in return and kissed his cheek. We stared at each in silence for a while, our eyes each raking each other’s facial features. He was perfect. Even his flaws were perfections; they were what made him Frank.

“I love you,” I whispered softly, “so much.” I hadn’t realized I was really saying it until I felt my mouth grow dry with the look his gave me after hearing my words. He looked at me like I was love. He closed the distance between us and pressed his lips against mine. I wasted no time in placing my hands on his face and pulling him deeper into it.

“I love you, too,” he said back after we separated. I helped him stand and carried his suitcase with my free hand. I walked him down stairs to Evelyn’s apartment.

“I’m going to put this in the car. Meet me back there when you’re done here. I’ll run over to the restaurant really quick.” He nodded and I went on my way as he knocked her door. After putting his suitcase in the trunk, I closed it and jogged across the street.

“Hi, I need to speak to a manager,” I said as I ran up to the counter.

“Sure. Let me get him for you.” I read her name tag and thought to myself that she didn’t look like a Jordan. I’m not sure what a Jordan really look like, but her face just didn’t fit it? If that makes sense. I waited idly by the front counter until and older looking man came out. His hairline was already receding and you could tell he’d seen a lot of shit in his days, but he also seemed kind. God, I hope I could read people correctly.

“Hi, my name is Gerard. I’m Frank guardian,” I introduced myself, sticking my hand out for him to shake. He took it, smiling back and introducing himself as well.

“I’m Joe. Is everything okay with Frank? He missed his shift today. I was upset to write him up for a “no call, no show.”” He said.

“Oh, no. I’m afraid you were unaware of his condition. Frank, earlier today, I believe, collapsed and was taken to the hospital. I was told his landlady found him shortly after his fall, because she lives under him. Because of his current condition, I need to keep Frank well-rested. I’d like to ask for some time off for him,” I requested. He seemed hesitant for a moment.

“I’m sorry about what happened to Frank, but I can’t allow time off,” he said, seeming ashamed.

“Joe, you look like you’ve been in this industry for a while, yes?” He nodded. “You seem like a wonderful manager. I’m sure you can appreciate that Frank is probably your hardest worker, right?” He nodded again.

“He insists on working every day and he’s great at what he does. A real people person,” he says. I almost want to laugh. “Well, that’s worded wrong. He certainly great with people, meaning he really doesn’t like them.” Now that’s spot on, Joe.

“Yes, that’s him. I’m unsure how long his recovery will take, but I’ve come here to ensure that he will have his job when he is well enough to return. He’s trying to get better quickly so he can still be shipped off to basic in two months, so could you do him this favor?” I asked. I remember my days of sweet talking everybody I ever needed anything from. I didn’t exactly like doing it, but it always came in handy.

“Well, I would love to have Frank on broad for his remaining two months, and he is a hard worker. You know what? Yeah, I’ll give him however long he needs. Thank you for coming by and explaining the situation to me, Gerard. Have him give me a call when he’s ready to come back,” he said with a smile. I thanked him and shook his hand. Thank God, I still kind of had it, and he didn’t fire Frank. He’d probably kill me. I walked out and back over to my car where Frank, I saw, was lying down in the back, his eyes closed. I got in the driver’s seat and started the car.

“If you’re not Gerard, please get out. I’m too fucking exhausted for this,” he mumbled sleepily. I laughed, causing him to grunt. “Okay, good. Let’s go home, Gerard.”

“We will, but I need to stop by the store,” I said, pulling out of the parking lot. He groaned.

“What for?” He whined.

“I need to buy you stuff you can eat.”

“I’m not hungry,” he huffed.

“Which is why I’m buying broth until you can eat solids. You’re stomach isn’t used to solids and you can’t have foods that are too heavy or you’ll get a stomachache.” He remained silent after that. I wanted to take care of him forever. He hummed in response.

“I’ll let you take care of me.”

“Forever?” I asked. I could almost feel his smile.

“Forever.” I smiled to myself, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In total, I have 34 chapters currently posted up, so this is almost all caught up! :))


	33. Until Then, Then?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a frustrating chapter, honestly.

“Here you go, Frankie,” I said as I sat down on the bed next to him. He smiled at me as he took the bowl of broth from my hands.

“Thank you, Gerard, but I’m not really hungry. Is it all right if I drink it later?” He asked.

“Here, let’s make a deal. Drink one spoonful every fifteen minutes and I won’t pester you about it too much,” I offered.

“But I’d like for you to pester me.” I gave him a smile, feeling my cheeks heating up ever so slightly.

“How about I give you a kiss for every spoonful?” He smiled wide, causing his eyes to squint and gleam with happiness. He stuck his hand out. I quickly grabbed his and shook it.

“Deal,” he said. He picked up the spoon and slowly raised it to his lips. After, very slowly, slurping up the broth and swallowing it, he put the bowl aside and held his arms out to me. I laughed, sliding into his arms and clutching onto his small frame. We stared into each other’s eyes, a small smile gracing both of our lips as we leaned into one another. Just as our lips were about to touch, a knock came upon my door, causing me to quickly jump away from him. Who the hell could that be? We’ve only been home for, like, ten minutes.

“Sorry. Let me go answer that, okay? Get some rest and-”

“Yeah, and don’t make a sound. I get it,” he interrupted me, turning over in our bed and snuggling under the blankets. I sighed and step out of the bedroom, closing the door as another knock came. I unlocked my door and swung the door open, feeling irritated with whoever decided to take me away from Frank.

“Ray?” I laughed nervously, “Wh-what are you doing here?” I asked, giving him an almost tight smile. He didn’t look happy, his eyes filled with tears threatening to spill at any moment. My irritated demeanor quickly disappeared as I pulled him into my arms. He quickly held onto me.

“Gerard, I just- my parents,” he sighed, squeezing me tighter. “I just had nowhere else to go. I’m sorry if I’m bothering you,” he mumbled into my shoulder.

“No, you’d never be a bother to me, Ray,” I assured him, soothing him as much as I could. “Come on, let’s get inside.” I pulled him inside and closed the door behind him. I walked him to the couch and sat down with him.

“You don’t have to tell me anything if you don’t want to, but I am here if you need to talk, okay?” Ray nodded at my words and we continued to sit in silence for a bit before I heard the sounds of heaving come from my room. Oh shit.

“Who’s here?” Ray asked. I opened my mouth to speak but I couldn’t think of any excuse.

I was fucked.

Ray stood up and walked into my room before I could stop him. I froze in the doorway, looking at Ray who was absolutely stunned at the sight of Frank leaned over the bed, holding onto his chest. Coming to my senses, I rushed to Frank’s side and held him as tears spilled from his eyes.

“I’m-I’m so sorry, Gerard. Your-your carpet, I’m sorry! I’ll clean it up,” he cried, making a move to get out of bed. I held him in place.

“No. No, it’s okay, Frank. I’ll get you some water, okay? Don’t worry about the carpet,” I assured him. It was nothing but pure liquid since he hadn’t eaten anything solid in God knows how long. I grabbed a towel from the restroom and placed it over the mess.

“Frank?” Ray finally spoke. Frank looked up at me, clearly terrified, before looking over at Ray. “What are you doing in Gerard’s bed?” He asked. We stayed in silence for a while before I finally spoke up.

“I, um, ran into him a month ago and he didn’t exactly look well, so I gave him my contact information. Just in case he needed anything. He called me earlier, and here we are. I’m helping him get better, that’s all.” I didn’t miss the hurt look in Frank’s eyes, or the relief that went across Ray’s face. What the hell was wrong with me? I love Frank and I just fucking made him sound like he was nothing important to me.

“Oh. Are you okay, Frank?” Ray asked, now concerned for him. I left the room to get him a glass a water, and when I came back, Ray was sitting on the edge of the bed, telling Frank how everything at school was going. Although Frank look confused, hurt, and somehow relaxed all at once, he managed a reply whenever Ray stopped for one.

“What are you doing here, Ray?” Frank asked. This seemed to make Ray stop and look over to me.

“Gerard and I are just really good friends, is all,” he said, his face holding a tight smile.

“Well, even though I’m not stupid enough to believe that, I’ll humor you both for the time being. I’m exhausted, so I’d like to get some sleep.” Then he turned over and pulled the blankets over his head. Ray sighed and stood up, leaving the room. Just before I closed the door, I heard him sniffle from his place under the blankets, causing my heart to jump out of my chest and make its way over to comfort Frank, but I didn’t move from my spot. I just closed the door and stayed in the living room with Ray. I fucked up so bad.

“Well, he hasn’t changed a bit,” Ray commented as we sat on my couch.

“He isn’t a bad guy,” I said. “He’s very nice.”

“He used to be. I guess I’d better go. I don’t want to wake him up, he looks really sick. I’d hate to disturb his rest,” he said. “Take care of him, okay? I can tell he’s trying to do great things.” I nodded my head and gave him a silent promise.

After walking Ray out, I closed the door and leaned against it, terrified to face Frank again. Swallowing my irrational fear down, I walked into the room and used the light from the restroom to see the mess I was about to clean up.

“He already left?” Frank asked.

“Yeah,” I answered, not looking up from that spot on the carpet. “I’m sorry, Frank.”

“I understand. It’s okay. I’m not mad. I’m sure I would’ve done the same thing.”

“Really?” I asked. He sighed.

“No. I was just saying that to make you feel better.” After tossing the towel in the bathtub, I went back to his side. I stared at the wall in front of me as Frank stared at the ceiling, and I was caught off guard when I felt his hand slid into mine. I didn’t question it aloud, and instead held his hand tightly.

“How about I put a movie on in here and we can watch it together?” I asked. He nodded, his face making an uncomfortable expression.

“Are you okay, Frank? Where does it hurt?” I asked as I leaned over him, looking over his body as if I could see anything physical that would be causing him pain.

“I just always feel like vomiting and my stomach is hurting me. I just want to be better again, Gerard. That way I can just leave you alone so you can be with Ray,” he mumbled, avoiding eye contact with me.

“Is that really what you want?” I asked him, feeling my heart ripping open. I watched as he slowly nodded his head.

"I’ll help you get better, and whatever happens between us while you’re here,” I paused, looking everywhere but him, “it won’t leave this house, and I won’t let it have emotional impact on what Ray and I have. If that’s what you really want.”

“Okay. But, until I’m better, like, enough to leave, I’m going to tell you I love you as much as possible,” Frank sighed, finally looking over at me. I laid myself beside him and pulled him into my chest, resting my chin on top of his head.

“I love you, too,” I answered, “And I’ll say that as many times as you tell me.” What was wrong with us? What was wrong with me? Why couldn’t I let Ray go? Why was I still so afraid of being alone after Frank left? Because I was a fucking coward. I know the answer, but why can’t I change that? Why can’t I call Ray back over and tell him the truth? Why am I so afraid to actually be with Frank? I sighed, causing Frank to look up and give me a distressed look.

“What’s wrong, Gerard?” He asked, taking my hand and squeezing it tightly.

“I’m a coward. Why do you love me?” I breathed. 

“Because I can see myself living out the rest of my days with you. Not even with Ray was I able to see that. It means something, Gerard. Sure, you’re a little bit of a run-away, but that’s okay. It’s okay, because I know you’ll look back at me one day and stop running. And you’ll come back for me,” he explained, his voice slightly breaking. He looked up at me through teary eyes and smiled, the squint of his eyes causing the tears to cascade down his face. I held him tightly, letting my own tears escape.

“I love you, Frank. I love you so much. I can never say it enough. _I love you_ ,” I cried softly. “With all I have.” We stayed like that for a while, our cries soon turning into sniffles here and there. We finally pulled away and I wiped his cheeks with my thumbs, holding his face in my hands.

“Do you want to know something else?” I asked. He gave me a questioning look, but made no verbal response. “It’s been over fifteen minutes.” He laughed. I leaned in and kissed him, making up for the one that was interrupted. He kissed back eagerly, melting into me. I will never tire of kissing him. It’s always if I’m kissing him for the first time again. Although he was asleep, he doesn’t need to know that. But I’ll never forget the rush that went through my body, almost knocking the wind out of me. I never experienced a kiss like that, despite my earlier college days of sort of whoring around. Those days are long in the past though. I handed him the bowl of, now, cooler broth. I watched as he picked up the spoon and stared at the liquid before taking a deep breath and drinking all of it at once. He quickly pushed the bowl into my hands, careful not to spill any and turned away from me and it.

“What happened, Frankie? What happened while I wasn’t there?” I asked, setting the bowl on the bedside table. He sighed softly, turning toward me once more. I waited silently for his answer.

“It wasn’t like I didn’t have money for cheap food or anything. It was,” he sighed again, pausing, “I didn’t feel like eating. Sometimes, when I got hungry, I would get food, but as soon as I was about to take a bite of something, it repulsed me. I didn’t want it anymore. I just gradually got weaker and here we are.” I took all of it in, my mind wandering around. I imagined how he used to look; so full of light. So healthy and just full. But now he was so frail and gray-looking. He looked so unhappy.

“You’re depressed,” I concluded. He nodded.

“I know. There was a time when I didn’t leave the house for three days. Not even the room. I just, well, I really missed you, Gerard.” I hugged him tightly, pressing him into my side once more. He leaned into me.

“Why didn’t you just tell me? I would have come running to you, you know that.”

“Things seem to be going well with Ray, aren’t they? Who am I to take you away from happiness?” He questioned. I kept my hold on him, our chins resting on each other’s shoulders.

“Frank, nothing would matter if you weren’t in my life. These three months have proved that,” I said, thinking back to my conversation with Lindsey.

“What do you mean?” He asked.

“Sure, Ray may have told me he loved me a few times and we’ve gone on dates and we’ve hung out a lot, but, if I’m going to be completely honest with you, I always have you on my mind,” I explain, “So what’s stopping us from being together?” I ask.

“I don’t really know, Gerard. I’m afraid you’re going to change your mind, I guess. I’m afraid of getting a Dear John letter, because, God, that movie pissed me off something special,” he chuckled, but I could tell he was hurting.

“It’s okay. I’m honestly afraid you’ll meet another man or woman while you’re stationed somewhere else, you know? I’m afraid I’ll get the letter saying we had a good run, but it’s time for new things.” This happened to Mikey. After his time in basic, he was stationed in Oklahoma before a tour overseas and he met this woman at a movie theater by chance. He accidentally spilled his popcorn on her when a scary pop-up scene came on. After that, they slowly fell in love. He almost completely forgot the girl he already had, and when he called her to explain, it went surprisingly well, but he lost a good friend that day. She’d informed him that she couldn’t stay friends with him because she still loved him very dearly, but wished him luck in soon-to-begin relationship and told him to be safe during his deployment. Alicia was a good girl, but I believe Kristin was a better fit. I haven’t talked to her in about a year, but I should change that. She was like a sister to me.

“I have a one-track mind, Gerard. I thought I’d made that very clear,” he said. I smiled a little.

“Let’s talk about something else, okay? Your recovery is important. I’ll put on another movie and we can just lay here,” I said, getting up from my comfortable spot by his side reluctantly. I left the room, shuffling through my movie tapes for a few minutes before I was interrupted by Frank yelling at me.

“How long does it take to find a movie?” He asks, with a bit of attitude. I chuckled under my breath.

“This is a long process, excuse you,” I jokingly huff out.

“We’re gonna fall asleep anyways.”

“Well, yeah, but it’s all about aesthetic! I refuse to fall asleep during anything that’s not beautiful,” I explain, walking back into the room with a documentary in hand. Grizzly Man, it’s titled. One of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen, to the day. Well, next to Mikey’s little kid face.

“You could just look at me,” he smirks. I laugh as I put the DVD in the player and take my seat next to him again. I lay back, my head propped up on the pillows and his head on my chest. I sigh contently and it was only ten minutes into the film when I dozed off.

He was right. All I needed was to see his face.

I awake to the sounds of sniffling, and my eyes shoot open at the sound.

“Frank?” I ask groggily. “What’s wrong?” he raises his head to look at me, wiping his eyes with the back of his hands.

“It was so nice. Like, tragic, but beautiful,” he cried softly. “And when he’s walking with his little bear friends and, just,” he sighed, burying his face in the crook of my neck. It took me by surprise, seeing him so emotional about a film, but I smiled softly at his ability to sympathize. I held him tightly.

“It’s okay, Frankie. You know what he said though, right? That if he didn’t come back from one of his trips, he died doing what he loved.” He nodded his head.

“Are you feeling any better?” I asked. He gave a little hum in response. Oh, look at that, he was already falling asleep. I smile softly. He still very weak, so he needs a lot of rest. I pick up his head by his chin and place a small kiss on his lips before letting him return to his original position.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave me some feedback? :))


	34. Frankie Is A Tease

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Title says it all.

It’s been two weeks and every day, Frank was better than the last. Just last night was the first time he finished a meal and didn’t puke it back up. We’ve grown closer and have said ‘I love you’ to one another as much as we possible could. I looked over at Frank’s sleeping figure through the dark and smiled softly. I had work in the morning, but I didn’t really care. I could stare at him for days and never become bored. Ray had stopped coming around, stating that he’d rather Frank get better first before he came over, which I understood. There was a lot of history there. I peered over at the clock on the other side of Frank and realized I only had another three hours left of sleep. I pulled him closer to me, causing him to stir in his sleep slightly before stilling once more. I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep before I could count to ten in my head.

“Gerard?” I heard Frank murmur in my ear. I thought it was a dream, so I didn’t answer. Then I felt him shaking me and an alarm blaring in my ear. _Oh_. “Gerard, please turn it off. It’s giving me a headache,” he mumbled closer to my ear. I slowly raised my arm and slammed my hand down on it, hitting a button and making it stop. I laid there with my eyes closed for a moment before I felt Frank shaking me again.

“Baby, you’ve gotta go to work. You can’t be late or absent again.” I smiled at his term of endearment, opening my eyes and looking over at him. He was staring at me sleepily. He leaned forward and pecked my lips softly. “I’m sorry,” he suddenly said. Before I could ask why, he swiftly pushed me off of our bed and I fell to the cold floor.

“Hey!” I huffed, standing to my feet quickly, ready to scold him. He turned over and went back to sleep. “You’re lucky I love you, you little shit.” Then I walked away into the restroom to shower.

“I love you, too,” I heard him say just before closing the door. I smiled to myself and stripped. It was the perfect morning, I thought to myself. I sighed as the water hit my back. It was a good morning for rough sex, but Frank and I hadn’t really done anything but hand jobs and I blew him once. Since his gag reflex was still sensitive, he couldn’t return the favor, which made him very upset. I chuckled softly, thinking about how upset he was that he couldn’t pleasure me with his mouth. He could just look at me and I could probably come in my pants right then and there. _Wow_ , I thought, _I feel like a hormonal teenager_.

“Gerard, are you staying out later tonight?” Frank asked as I dressed myself.

“No. I don’t have any meetings and as long as no one gets a detention, I should be home around five. Why?” I asked, putting on my socks. I felt the bed move and then a pair of arms wrap around my waist. I smiled softly as he put his chin on my shoulder.

“Because I’m going to miss you,” he whispered in my ear. I shivered softly as he placed a wet kiss on my neck and licked up to my ear slowly. I groaned softly.

“Frankie, I thought you said I couldn’t be late anymore?” I teased, a small smirk on face.

“I just want you to go to work with a hard on because of me,” he chuckled.

“You evil bastard,” I laughed.

“The evilest.” I laughed harder.

“Really? Because you seem more like Mojo JoJo to me,” I laughed hysterically, earning a small hit on my back.

“Fuck you,” he laughed. I turned and winked at him.

“Maybe later, baby,” I joked. His eyes seemed to glaze over as he nodded.

“Yeah,” he whispered huskily. I sucked in a small breath, shivering at the thought of taking him anytime soon. I shook myself out of my vacancy, and turned back to slip on my shoes.

“Get some sleep, babe,” I said as I leaned down to give him a peck on the lips. He nodded his head sleepily and laid down. He continued to stare up at me, giving me those bedroom eyes. It didn’t help my erection that he was only in his boxers which were sliding off a bit, showing the small trail of hair leading to his member. I wanted nothing more than to undress and crawl into bed and take him. Lately, he’d been making more advances at me, but it was normally around a time that I had to get work done, we were falling asleep, or I was leaving for work, so I couldn’t exactly do anything about it. I hope to get a gift from the Gods soon for my strength.

I smiled softly down at him and blew him a kiss just before his eyes finally closed and he began to snore softly. I chuckled and left the bedroom, closing the door behind me quietly. It was moments like this where I could see myself doing this every morning. Letting Frank wake me up early, because I could barely do it myself, and kissing him goodbye before I left for work. I could see myself trying to grade papers while he’s talking me into watching more movies with him. I could see myself growing old with Frank, and it made me smile.

I was setting up my lesson plan when Ray walked in.

“Hey, baby,” he said, giving me a hug. “How’s Frank been?” I smiled a little at the thought of Frank.

“He’s starting to eat a little more and everything, so he’s making some progress,” I answered, setting a packet on each student’s desk.

“That’s good. What are we learning today?” He asked, trying to make some conversation. Things weren’t actually bad between us, but we also seemed a bit more distant from one another.

“It’s just a review packet for the end of the year exam. Nothing too big,” I explained as I kept going along the rows of desks to place the packets down.

“Hey, um, Mr. Way, is there anything I need to be worried about? You seem a little more distant than before,” Ray nearly mumbled. I paused my movements, looking up at him with what I hoped was a reassuring face.

“No, don’t worry about anything. I’m fine. Just distracted, I suppose,” I chuckled. The smile returned to his face and he nodded just as the bell rang. “All right, now get to class before you’re late,” I said, gesturing toward the door.

“Yes, sir,” he laughed. “I’ll see you in class. I love you,” he said just before walking out the door, giving me no room to even smile at his words. I still couldn’t tell him that I love him, because I just _didn’t_. I love Frank and that was obviously clear. I could’ve done it just then- broken up with him- but I _couldn’t_ and I was still finding the excuse to stay with him, even if I didn’t even have one. I sighed deeply, feeling my pocket for my phone to send Frank a quick text before the kids started filing in, but I was surprised to see that I already had one when I looked at it.

Frank: _I’m about to take a shower. Thinking about you._

I felt my cheeks heat up and checked the time, seeing it had only been sent to me about two minutes ago. I quickly answered back. 

Me: _Don’t get yourself too exhausted, I’m still coming home later ;)_

I smiled to myself, feeling like a teenager again, but clearing it off my face just as the kids began walking so they couldn’t ask questions. 

“What’s up, Mr. Way?” Bob greeted as he took a seat at his desk. 

“Hey, how’s it going?” I said more for formality. I felt my phone vibrate in my hand and quickly fumbled with it to see what Frank had responded. 

Frank: _You mean you’re still coming on me later._

I coughed, feeling my pants becoming tighter and suffocating. I bit my lip and looked around at the kids talking with their friends before the bell in two minutes. There’s no way I could stand up and teach at the board with my fucking hard on in their faces. I guess I’m staying behind the desk today. 

Me: _You’re so fucking sexy…_

I put my phone on my lap as I waited for his response. My heart was racing and I felt giddy. I hated that Frank could do this to me, but I also welcomed it. Soon, I could make love to him and make him feel good. Honestly, the sex didn’t really matter to me, but it was nice to know that he wanted me just as much as I wanted him. I felt my phone vibrate and looked down at it. 

Frank: _And I’m all yours, Gerard. All. Yours._

I bit my lip, holding back a moan. Oh, my fucking fuck, this kid is going to kill me. 

Me: _If you keep talking like that, I may just have to “accidentally” become ill and go home early._

“Mr. Way, could I ask you a question?” Bob asked, breaking me out of my trance. I looked up at him and nodded my head, smiling and trying to seem welcome. Damn, Bryar, I scolded him in my head. 

“The assignment last night, to read the last chapter to _Brave New World_ ,” he started. I nodded him on, encouraging him to finish. “Well, my book is missing the last two pages, so would it be all right if I read from some else’s copy and finish my report during class?” He asked. I raised my brow. Bob would normally half-ass anything, given the opportunity, but he was actually making an effort to do this report. I watched as he chuckled, catching me off guard. 

“Um, sure,” I mumbled. He laughed harder. “What’s funny?” I asked, getting excited because I felt my phone vibrate. 

“You look really surprised, Mr. Way. Look, I’m really interested in this book. Like, I haven’t read anything so… wow!” He said, smiling down at the copy of the book I had assigned him. I suddenly felt very proud of him and how far he’s come since the beginning of the school year. 

“Really? That’s _great_ to hear, Bob. I look forward to reading your report though.” We smiled at each other and then went about our own business. I looked down at my phone and felt my cheeks heat up at Frank’s words. 

Frank: _Such a rebel, wanting to play hooky with me. Wait until you come home. I’ve put my urges to the back of my mind long enough. Tonight, I’m going to give myself to you. Now pay attention to your class ;)_

I quickly pocketed my phone and put my hands to my cheeks, hoping to cool them off. Frank is such a tease, I smirked. I chuckled to myself and loudly clearing my throat after the bell rang to catch my student’s attention. 

“All right, class, in thirty minutes I expect you all to turn in your reports on Aldous Huxleys’ _Brave New World_. Remember to have proper grammar, punctuation, and evidence to support your statements,” I informed them. “I look forward to reading them all. I’m sure you’ve all passed my class with flying colors.” They nodded, giving me small smiled before getting to work. Over the past couple of weeks, my mood has gotten better and they all seem more comfortable with me as they used to. I make eye contact with Lindsey and she gives me a thumbs up. I nod and smile bigger at her. I guess I owe her a bit. 


	35. Diluted (Frank's POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shitty smut, obvi//
> 
> This story is officially caught up to the original on the mcrfanfic website!

“Okay, Frank, come on,” I say, pumping myself up. “This was _your_ idea. You can’t back out! You’re the dominant one, and you can’t let him see that you’re not. You can do this!” I exclaim, watching as the clock was coming closer and closer to five in the afternoon. I’ve taken about three _super_ thorough showers and I think it was good enough. I fixed our bed nice and even cooked a very nice dinner. I hadn’t had much to cook with, but I managed to make it work. It was just spaghetti, but it gave me the perfect chance to lick his face at some point.  
  
As my first two weeks here came and went, I’d noticed a side of me that only came out when I wanted Gerard in a physical way. I became more shameless and started making more advances just to see him flustered. I wanted to _make_ him flustered and whiny for me and it was an odd sensation. With Ray, I just did it because he wanted to and I honestly didn’t care. But with Gerard, I wanted to feel him as close to me as anyone could get. I wanted to feel that love from _him_.  
  
I froze as I heard the door open.  
  
“Frank?” Gerard called. I dressed differently from how I have been recently. I normally wore sweatpants and an oversized shirt, but now wore only my briefs and a tighter shirt. His faced turned red as he saw me.  
  
“Hey. Welcome home,” I greet him, pushing my body against his and giving him a kiss. He embraces me for a moment before stepping back and letting his eyes trail over every inch of my body. I loved it most when he looked at me with love, yes, but with the hunger I’m seeing in his eyes now, I wanted to melt all over him.  
  
“Smells good in here,” he says, finally pulling his eyes away and looking over at the stove.  
  
“Yeah,” I nod. “I made spaghetti for dinner.” His eyes light up and I smile.  
  
“I _love_ spaghetti!” He exclaims. “I’ll be right back. I’m gonna go change,” he says as he walks towards our room. I follow behind him and he realizes that I’m there staring at him just as he’s about to lift his shirt off.  
  
“Go on,” I smirk. He slows his actions down as he pulls it off. I lean my body against the frame of the door, my breath slightly hitching as he muscles move about from his actions. He wasn’t the skinniest guy ever, but he also wasn’t overweight. He had a small amount of extra flesh hugging his hips and I loved squeezing it every chance I got. I loved that he would get shy about it, but I loved it more when he embraced that I loved it. I could tell he had some struggles accepting his body, and that’s why I made sure to be extra loving when I’m touching it. He needed to know that I’ll love him no matter what his weight, height, age, religion, whatever. What mattered to me was that he was Gerard Way and no one else. I fell in love with him for being _him_.  
  
He keeps eye contact as he unbuckles his belt and pulls it out from his belt loops, letting it drop to the floor. His breathing becomes heavier as my eyes find his, ripping away from the movement of his hands after much struggle. I focus all my attention on his eyes, trying my best to ignore the sounds of his pants unzipping and dropping to the floor around his ankles.  
  
“Frank,” he mutters. I give him a small smirk and push myself off of the door frame.  
  
“Dinner will get cold. I’ll be getting our plates ready, so hurry,” I say, turning away from him and making my way to the kitchen. The thing I’ve always loved about being with Gerard and pretty much living with him is the ease of it all. I have no trouble with doing the things I normally do. I’m calm around him and I don’t feel self-conscious when I’m undressed or taking a shower with him or when my stomach hurts and I spend a lot of time in the restroom, which is a big deal for me. Ray made a face at me one time and it hurt me, so I was always insecure about it. But with Gerard, he just gives me a smile and rubs my stomach and ignores the overbearing scent of air freshener in the room and I’m thankful for that. He understands my stomach problem and is always at my side when I need him. So, if I’m being honest, _fuck_ Ray. I’m keeping Gerard for myself.  
  
After getting our plates and drinks placed on the table, I feel a pair of arms wrap around my waist. I smile softly.  
  
“I love you,” he whispers against my neck, placing a soft kiss there. I bit my lip to try and prevent myself from smiling more, but who cares? I’m happy.  
  
“I love you, too,” I whisper, not wanting to break the trance we’re both in by speaking louder. His grip tightens around me. “Let’s eat, okay? I’m kinda hungry.” He chuckles and kiss the top of my head.  
  
“ _Finally_! I’ve been waiting to hear those words from you,” he says, taking a seat with a big smile on his face. “Remember, there’s no pressure for you to finish it all, okay?” He always tells me this before I eat something and I’m glad he does. It assures me that he won’t be angry with me and that’s something I’m always secretly afraid of. I take my seat across from him which I don’t mind since it’s a pretty small table.  
  
Just as I put the first forkful of food in my mouth, he reaches across the table and holds my hand as we eat. It’s so… _domestic_ and I’m suddenly upset at the fact that I’m leaving him in less than a month. I don’t want to, but I’ve made my choice and I need to follow through with it. I kept my face hidden of anything but happiness as I think to myself once again: I do not deserve this man. He does not deserve to be left alone while I’m away. He needs someone here to shower him with love. Naturally, Ray is a good choice for him.  
  
I can’t have him.  
  
I want to cry but I swallow the lump and continue with my food. When I finally have the courage to look up at him, he’s staring at me with concern in his eyes. I squeeze his hand trying to reassure him as I swallow the food in my mouth. He leaves it alone and goes back to his own plate.  
  
“Let’s watch a movie after this?” I suggest. He looks up at me and smiles, quickly nodding his head.  
  
“You know just what to say to get into my heart, don’t you, Mr. Iero?” He teases.  
  
“If it’s that easy, I need to watch out for competition,” I say, slightly pouting. He laughs and shakes his head.  
  
“I’m only easy for you, Frankie.” I smirk at that and pick up my fork again as I move my foot up his leg slowly. I feel him tense up and his eyes on are on me. I meet them and give him what I hope is an innocent smile as I wiggle my toes in between his legs.  
  
“You are so bad, Frank,” he groans softly.  
  
“So what movie do you wanna watch? I was thinking of the Wizard of Oz. You know, our movie,” I say, ignoring his statement as I continue to wiggle my toes and apply a soft amount of pleasure. He doesn’t say anything as he gripped my hand and the edge of the table tightly, slightly rubbing back against my foot. It sent a shiver across my body as I watched him trying to get off on my foot. Before it could get him anywhere, I pull my foot away and push my plate to the side.  
  
“Sorry,” I say. “I’m full.” I give him an apologetic look and he shakes his head, reassuring me that it was fine.  
  
“Don’t be sorry. You ate a little more today!” He said happily, though I could still tell he was extremely concerned. I really did need to be eating more, especially since I’ve been working out a lot more lately. I need the strength to do that. Gerard wasn’t aware of my physical exercise, otherwise he wouldn’t allow it. Sometimes he seems to forget that I’m going into Army infantry and that I needed to be in tip-top shape, but he’s just so _cute_ when he gets all worried and everything that I just can’t stop him.  
  
I stay sitting at the table holding his hand until he was finished.  
  
“Oh, God, I’m so full. Baby, that dinner was amazing!” he praised. I blushed softly, trying not to smile but his chuckle told me that he knew I appreciated it.  
  
“Thanks, Gee. I’m glad you liked it. Movie time?” I asked. He nodded his head and stood, grabbing both of our plates and setting them in the sink.  
  
“Hey. I love you, Frank. You know that, right?” He suddenly asked, his back still turned to me.  
  
“Yes,” I responded softly. “Why?”  
  
“I’m breaking up with Ray.” My breath caught in my throat and I felt my heart beat quicken.  
  
“Re-really?” I asked, my voice too hopeful before I could prevent it. He turned back around to face me, a big smile on his face and a shine in his eyes that I’d only seen once, when he first admitted he loved me. I bet my stupid smile matched his.  
  
“Really, Frankie. I love you way too fuck much to keep pretending to love someone else and be with them,” he explained. “Do you want to be with me?” He asked. I nodded my head with no hesitation.  
  
“Yes, Gerard. Come here,” I said, holding my hand out to him. He shyly walks over to me, sliding his hand into mine. I pull him into my chest and hold him tightly. He clings to me and suddenly I forget who the older one is, but it doesn’t matter. Age is just a number.  
  
“Frankie?” He asked against my neck. I hummed. He pulled away slightly to look at my face. I look up at him and smile softly as his hands come up to cup my face; he pulled me closer, lowering his face to mine and pushing his lips against my softly, but desperately. I moved my arms from around his waist to his upper back, digging my finger slightly against his skin feeling the minor muscle. He groaned quietly as I sucked at his lip and deepened the kiss. He pulled back softly, looking at me with that look I’ve been wanting to see in his eyes. Nothing but pure love and lust mixed together in his bright hazel eyes.  
  
“Let’s put on that movie, yeah?” He breathed out. I smiled and nodded my head. I took a seat on the couch as he put the movie in, watching him and smiling at the man who was mine. I loved him with everything I was capable of giving and even everything I wasn’t. He took a seat next to me and placed his arm around my shoulder, holding me close to him. He smiled at me before giving my forehead a kiss.  
  
Dorothy had just gotten trapped in the Wicked Witch of the Wests’ castle when he Gerard turned my face to his and kissed me.  
  
“You should see yourself watching movies. You’re beautiful,” he said. I chuckled.  
  
“If it were anyone else saying that to me, I’d think they were creepy,” I admitted. He laughed.  
  
“Thank God it’s not anyone else then.” I looked back at the screen.  
  
“You know what I’m noticing?” I said.  
  
“Hm?”  
  
“Well, look. The Cowardly Lion is going into the castle and not running away. The Tin-Man was just upset that Dorothy was locked in the castle and the Scarecrow just had an idea,” I observed. Gerard laughs softly.  
  
“Oh, you noticed?” He asked.  
  
“They don’t need the Wizard. They had the brains, the heart and the courage the entire time,” I exclaimed. “So Dorothy must have always been home, right? Or am I missing something else?” I asked him, turning to him. He laughed.  
  
“You know, Frankie, you noticing all of these things about my favorite movie makes you, like, twenty times hotter.” I raise my brow.  
  
“Only that much? I take offense to that,” I said, crossing my arms over my chest. He suddenly wraps his arms around my waist and pushes me down to the couch before settling himself on top of me.  
  
“It’s much more than that, but I can’t have you getting to cocky on me now, can I?” He smirked. I pulled his head down and kissed him deeply. I couldn’t stand the fucking tension anymore. I kiss from his lips to his ear before whispering, “make love to me, Gerard…” I feel him shiver under my touch and I move my hips up against his, hearing his soft gasp in my own ear.  
  
“I love you,” he said, running his hands down my chest and up along my sides. He grinds his hips back down against mine, causing an embarrassing moan to escape my lips. I look down between us and see our clothed erections pushing against one another and the sight makes me gasp. Unable to resist the urge, I reach down and push the heel of my palm against his hard member. He gasps against my shoulder rutting his hips down on my hand.  
  
“Frank, Frank, stop. I won’t last much longer if you keep…” he groans, sitting up to remove his shirt. I do the same as him before tugging off my briefs. I keep my eyes on his as they linger on my body. “You’re beautiful, so _so_ beautiful,” he whispers. He takes off his own and I found myself blushing at the sight of him.  
  
We stare at each other for a moment before his eyes suddenly turned darker.  
  
“Turn over, on your knees, Frankie.” I felt my cheeks heat up, but does as he says. I’m feeling more exposed than ever, but I trust him. I feel his hands run over my bottom and up my back before pushing my head down against the couch. His other hand spread my legs more until one is forced to keep me upright by settling on the floor, causing my bottom to raise into the air higher. I’m breathing harder against the cushion anticipating what’s going to happen next and gasp hard as I feel his tongue push up softly against my hole.  
  
“G-Gerard?” I ask breathlessly. I feel him pull away and massage my lower back.  
  
“Relax, Frank.” I nod my head and take a deep breath. I don’t flinch when I feel his tongue again, instead I embrace it and before I know it, I’m withering and pushing back against his face. I’m feeling too much pleasure to care about feeling embarrassed. I’m further taken off guard when I feel his tongue enter me.  
  
“Oh, _fuck_!” I moan almost obscenely. “Oh, please, Gerard. Just fuck me, _please_ ,” I cry out. I feel him pull away and his tongue is soon replaced with a finger. He pushes it in and even though it’s been a long time since I’ve had sex, I know I can handle more. “ _More_. I can handle it, Gerard, please,” I beg. Thankfully, he complies and I feel a second finger being pushed inside me.  
  
“That’s it, Frankie. You’re doing so amazing. I wish you could see how easily my fingers are going into you,” he whispers, but I can hear it just barely over the sound of the Wizard of Oz handing the gifts out to the group. In another situation, I would be laughing, but I could care less about that. I relish in the feeling of his fingers inside of me and gasp out once again when I feel his other hand wrap around my shaft and pump me at an unbearably slow pace.  
  
I thrust into his hand and then push back into his fingers a few times before he releases me and lets out a growl as he pulls his fingers out.  
  
“Ready, Frankie?” He asks softly as he bends over me and kisses the back of my neck.  
  
“Yes, _please_ , yes, I am,” I sob. I need him. I need to feel him as close to him as me as possible. I wouldn’t want his with anyone else, ever. I swear on my life that I will never spend another intimate moment like this with anyone else. I feel him softly shush me and hear the sound of him spitting followed by a slick sound. One of his hands grip my waist and then I feel him pushing against my bottom before pushing the head of his member inside.  
  
“G-Gerard, _please_ ,” I breathe softly, not even sure if he heard me. His other hand is placed on the back of my neck and pushing me down harder into the sofa as he pushes further into. I feel my eyes water at the love I feel from him, something I never got from Ray or Jealousy, but from a man who used to be my teacher. When our hips finally touch, I hear him moan, the first sound he’s made since he started entering me. The leg holding me up is shaking, struggling to hold me, but I will stay in this position until we’re done. Until we fully belong to one another.  
  
“Frank, tell me you love me,” he demands. I’m so turned on by his newfound dominate nature that I don’t care if he starts demanding me tO jumy off a fucking bridge.  
  
“I love you, Gerard. I love you so much. I want no one but you, oh, _God_. M-move, please just move.” He pulls out about half way before thrusting back into me and we both groan. He does it once more after adjusting his angle and that when I feel that burst of pleasure that shocks my body and causes my entire body to shake.  
  
“Right there?” He asks, panting. I nod, moaning my approval. “You’re mine, Frankie,” he thrusts into me again. “Just. Mine. Don’t. Forget that,” he growled in-between his thrusts. My moans became so loud that I was afraid the neighbors could hear me screaming out his name. Suddenly he pulled out, causing me to whine but silenced me by turning me over on my back and pushing into me once again. The pleasure was too much, but I did my best to prevent them from rolling back into my head and forced myself to stare into his eyes. His forehead was covered in sweat, some of his messy hair sticking to the side of his face, his jaw was hanging slack as he panted. He hooked his arms under my own to latch onto my shoulders to thrust into me at a better pace.  
  
“I belong- mm- to no one, but - _ah!_ \- you, Gee,” I manage to get out. He smiles softly down at me, his stare never wavering as he leans down and kisses me deeply, our eyes never closing. He lowers his body down to my chest and the movement he’s making is causing his stomach to stroke my leaking member. I throw my head back, slightly arching my back. He bites and sucks on my neck as he speeds his thrusts, constantly hitting my prostate and stroking me faster in-between our bodies. I feel the pool of pleasure filling up in my body and I know I’m _so_ close that I’m near losing it.  
  
“Oh, _fuck_ ,” I gasp. “I’m c-coming, Gerard. _Harder_ ,” I moan. His thrusts became more disordered and harder upon my demand and that’s when I allow myself to let go. I feel my semen spurt out in-between us as I throw my head back as far as my body tolerates, my toes curl, and my legs tighten around Gerard’s waist. He moans loudly as he, too, finishes. I feel him fill me up and it’s a strange thought to have, but I suddenly feel myself wanting to _have_ this man’s children, but it’s brief and disappears before I could question it. He slowly lies down on me and I shakily wrap my arms around him, allowing my legs to fall limply beside him.  
  
“I love you, Frank,” he says as he kisses me once more, deeply. I return the kiss and whimper as he pulls out of me.  
  
“I love _you_ , Gerard. Only you,” I mutter against his lips. And that’s when we finally reach the end of the movie and Gerard whispers in my ear, reciting the movie.  
  
“ _There’s no place like home_.” And I smile because he’s an idiot. I smile bigger because he’s _my_ idiot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is dedicated to pan-a-fan on Tumblr who is amazing and helped my inspiration for this story come back! Hope you all enjoyed this chapter!


	36. Smoke Rings

“Babe, I don’t see _any_ problem with it,” I said, clearly annoyed with my older boyfriend throwing a fit at the corner of the bed. He huffed, like a kid, causing me to roll my eyes.  
  
“You’re not fully better, Frankie! School, I can understand, but _work_? That’s an entirely different thing! Bad enough you did a shit ton of cardio while I was at work. It would’ve been better to find you jerking off than doing push-ups!” he said, throwing his hands up in the air to emphasize his point. I put a hand on my hip, raising my brow.  
  
“I get that you’re older than me, Gerard, but you still can’t stop me from doing what I want or need to. I leave for basic in three weeks. You convinced my boss to not fire me, and I don’t want to let him down. I’m going back to work. Tomorrow. In the morning. And then returning to school come Monday.” He opened his mouth, about to argue, I could fucking tell, but I glared harshly at him and he closed it. We stayed in the same spots for a moment before he eventually let out a sigh.  
  
“Fine, fine, do what you need to. I’m just… worried. I don’t want you to get too exhausted from overworking yourself too soon. Promise me you’ll take it easy?” He asked. I broke my glare, smiling softly at him.  
  
“I’ll do my best, but you know me.” He smiled brightly, opening his arms to me and I crawled into his arms, settling on his lap. He kissed my head and set his chin on my shoulder. I loved being like this with him, with no problems too big for us. But we weren’t done with everything quite yet. A week ago, Gerard promised me that he’d break up with Ray and that’s when we started dating, but he hadn’t done it yet. Obviously, that frustrated me, but today was the day. He invited Ray over to break up with him, but I couldn’t stay because I needed to stay settling back in my apartment. My lease was still on and Evelyn was kind enough to give me a break with this past month’s rent, but I couldn’t take advantage of her kindness, so I needed to head back.  
  
“How long are you going to be gone, Frankie?” Gerard asked quietly. Frank shrugged.  
  
“I’m just taking my stuff back and then I’ll spend one more night here with you. That sound good?” I asked, making sure.  
  
“Yes. I’d be sad if you didn’t. Ray will be here in a few minutes. Did you want to stay here for the ordeal?” I shook my head.  
  
“As long as he leaves with a tear in his eye, then I’m cool with heading out right now,” I said as I stood up, Gerard taking that opportunity to give my bottom a slap. I jumped, turning to face him. Gerard threw his head back, letting out a loud laugh, making me glare at him again.  
  
“Your face!” He laughed. “That look was _so_ cute!” He said. I crossed my arms over my chest. He noticed the look on my face and went over to me, pulling me into a big hug, giggling like a baby. The sound and smile on his face warming my heart and making me smile. Just as our lips were about to touch in a quick kiss, someone knocked on the door. I automatically tensed, but Gerard just rubbed my arms, trying to relax me. “It’s okay, baby. Get your stuff and I’ll let him in.” I nodded and walked to the living room where my bags were residing as Gerard went to the door and opened it.  
  
“Hey, babe,” Ray said, I quickly looked back, feeling extremely possessive. Gerard, from over ray’s shoulder where he was hugging him, shook his head and mouthed at me to behave. I bit my lip and started making more noise as I was getting my bag in my hand. “Hey, Frank! How’ve you been?” He asked, looking over at me. He was smiling, like, a sincere smile and I suddenly remembered the Ray I’d fallen for at one time. But that time was a long time ago, and he didn’t matter to me anymore. Gerard did.  
  
“I’ve been doing better. Thanks for asking,” I said politely, with a small smile. “I’m gonna be heading out now, Gerard. I’ll be back later,” I informed the older man who blew me a kiss from behind Ray. I smirked and headed out the door. Half way through the walk, I realized my stamina was _a lot_ better than I thought. I was proud of that. Had it not been really sunny, I wouldn’t have been sweating at all.  
  
When I was talking to Evelyn about my apartment and rent and how my stuff was going to be storage while I was away, I couldn’t help but think about how things were at Gerard’s. Had he done it? What was Ray’s reaction? How did Gerard say it? I shook the thoughts away from my mind and paid attention to what my landlady was saying.  
  
“So the options I can offer you are to pay me half the rent you are now to keep your apartment with your things in it or I can offer you some space in my own personal storage, but it’s a little far from here, sweetheart. Honestly, keepin’ your things in the apartment would be cheaper since you’d have to hire someone to take the things over there for ‘ya,” she offered. I nodded my head.  
  
“You’re right. I think I’ll do that instead. If there comes a time where I stop paying, then you’re more than welcome to get rid of everything,” I tell her. She gives me a small smile and nods her head. “I’ll be returning tomorrow afternoon, right after work and I’ll be able to hand you the money order then, if that’s okay?” I made sure.  
  
“Of course, honey. Tell that friend of yours thank you for taking such care of you! You’re lookin’ much better.” I smile.  
  
“Thank you _so_ much for everything. I know I haven’t been the best person you’ve rented out to, but I appreciate all the faith you have in me.” She smiles and shoos me on my way. She was amazing and I really owed her a lot. Every time she went grocery shopping, she always stopped by to ask what I needed and got everything for me; she was a lovely, motherly woman. She let me rent out an apartment while having no credit and no one to vouch for me and she didn’t have to. I wished she was my mother.  
  
I thought back to my parents and wondered how they were doing. I was thankful for being eighteen, so I couldn’t be forced back. But I kicked myself for being _concerned_. I sighed, taking my key out and unlocking the door before going inside. I set my bags of clothes and other items Gerard had gotten me for the apartment and then went to take a shower. As much as I love Gerard, I missed taking a regular shower by myself. Most times, I didn’t mind my face being pushed against the wall, but believe me when I say that this guy’s sex drive was insatiable. I understand now why women sometimes fake headaches.  
  
“I better get back to the apartment,” I mumbled to myself after getting dressed. I shrug on some clothes and head out the door, locking it and walking my way back to Gerard’s. After passing the only busy street, I took off into a light jog, feeling my muscles burning and my breathing slightly increase. This felt so good. I hadn’t been able to go for a run in a long time and I didn’t realize I’d missed it so much. I sped up my pace into a full speed run and made it to Gerard’s in ten minutes flat. I’d ran well over a mile by then and was feeling slightly dizzy. My head was fuzzy and my breathing was labored. I decided to take a lap around the parking to let my heart rate slow on its own. In JROTC, I was taught that type of thing. I didn’t know it was important to not stop fully after a run, but I was thankful for everything I learned about it.  
  
After calming down, I walked into Gerard’s home with a smile on my face, only for it to drop. Ray and Gerard were kissing fiercely and I felt my heart tear in two. One week. Our relationship lasted one week. I loved this man. I was prepared to trust him while I left for Basic, and it looks like this was the better outcome. Better for him to cheat now than to find out through a fucking Dear John letter later on.  
  
“Oh. Sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt,” I say bitterly. They quickly separated and looked over at me, eyes wide. Ray looked like he was fucking for kissing his teacher and Gerard looked like he just shit his pants at Mass. Well, he was fucked all right.  
  
“Frankie, I, we, this isn’t what it looked like,” he tried, quickly standing and heading over to me. I step away from him, glaring harshly into his eyes, trying my best to transfer all the hurt going through my heart right now to his.  
  
“Save it,” I say curtly. I walk over to Ray and lean over him. “So break my heart and then steal my boyfriend? You really have a knack for hurting me, don’t you?” I say, not really wanting my answer. His eyebrows quirk in confusion as he looked over at Gerard. “Well, you can have him. I’m leaving.” Then I turned around and headed out of the door. I made it to the end of the parking lot before I felt my hand on my shoulder, quickly turning me around and then an embrace.  
  
“Frankie, please, let me explain,” Gerard begs in my ear. I try to push him off of me, but his hold is stronger than I thought it would be. Maybe it was because I wasn’t using all of my energy. Maybe it was because I was too exhausted to deny it all. Maybe I was willing to hear him out because I didn’t want to lose him. I said nothing and stopped fighting. Hesitantly, he loosened his grip and pulled away a bit, keeping me in his arms. “I explained to Ray that I didn’t want to be with him. He cried and I consoled him and, I swear to _God_ , that kiss was what he’d asked for. He said one more kiss and he’d be okay with letting me go. So I did it. I was leaning in for a quick peck or something, you know, noncommittal, but he pulled me in and really laid one on me,” he said without pausing for breath. “That’s when you walked in and I was trying to push him off, but the dude is stronger than he looks. Seriously. I wouldn’t lie to you, Frank. I love you and I want to be with you only.” I stood there, trying to find it in my heart to forgive him. Which was bullshit because I already had.  
  
“Gerard, I don’t,” I sighed. “I don’t know if I can let that go. I understand why he asked for that, because I did too, but you’re _mine_. At least, you were. I don’t know, Gerard. Maybe this was all fucked from the beginning,” I say softly. Hurt flashes through his eyes, but I don’t look away.  
  
“What are you saying, Frank?” He asked. I shrug, not really knowing myself. “Okay, you’re hurt. Just come back inside and we’ll sleep all this off and talk more about it tomorrow,” he says, trying to guide me back. I step away, shaking my head. I think all of this was a sign that he and I weren’t going working out in the long run. Maybe this was the universe’s way of telling me to save myself from a world of hurt by doing this. To be honest, I wasn’t even hurt about the kiss anymore, because I understand why Ray did it, but, like, I said, maybe this was a sign.  
  
“I just need to go home and think, okay?” I said, taking another step away from him. “Maybe this was a sign,” I mutter. As I’m turning around to walk away, he hugs me from behind, clutching to me tightly.  
  
“Please, Frank. I will do _anything_ for you to stay,” he begs. I shut my eyes tightly trying to ignore how pathetic he sounded. He was an adult and he was beginning a kid, basically, to stay. But I didn’t hate him. I didn’t feel anything but pure love for the man. And I know I have a funny way of showing, if at all, but I _love_ this man with everything I have left of myself. It wasn’t much, but it was everything to me.  
  
“I love you, Gerard,” I say softly, leaning my head back against his shoulder.  
  
“Then _stay_ ,” he cried. Actual tears were sitting my shirt and wetting it. Actual sobs were coming from his mouth. He was crying. For me. I don’t know what possessed me to do this, but I shook my head, tore from his hold and ran away as fast as I could. I needed some time to think about what I was going to do. And maybe when I did come to a decision, it would be too late, but I just needed to do this. Something in my gut was telling me to go and run.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave some feedback in the comments?


	37. Resolution?

I covered my ears as Gerard continued knocking on my door, I didn’t wanna hear it. I don’t want to talk to him. I _can’t_ talk to him, really. I was still thinking about what to do even though it’d almost been a week, and if I’m being honest, I haven’t been really thinking about it. I’ve been working as much as my body would let me and then doing PT when I wasn’t at the diner. Throughout that time, I’d trained a new worker and he and I were actually becoming friends. Although being social wasn’t really my thing anymore, I didn’t mind him kind of being clingy. His attempts to talk to me all the time were very appreciated and felt nice.  
  
Bert was an all-around nice guy. He reminded me of a rowdier Gerard and maybe that’s why I didn’t mind him in the first place. The guy could sing, too, and a lot of us enjoyed hearing him sing during closing time.  
  
“Frank, please, just open up. I’ve gotta talk to you,” Gerard said, knocking again, his voice sounding tired. I sighed and walked to the front door and took a deep breath before opening it.  
  
“What?” I asked sharply. He seemed shocked that I even opened the door, but I shrugged the look away.  
  
“Can I come in?” I stepped aside and let him in, closing the door behind him. I was off today and it was already night. I just wanted to curl up on my couch and watch a movie, maybe fall asleep there, too. Whatever. “Look, I just want you to know that Ray and I aren’t dating. We’re quite civil, actually,” he explained. I shrugged.  
  
“And?” I answered, wanting him to get to the point.  
  
“Well, I just thought you’d want to know how that was going and everything,” he said shyly, looking down at the floor between us.  
  
“I hadn’t actually thought about it, sorry.” He looked up into my eyes, the eyes I loved so much and still did. They’re were beautiful and looked at me with so much emotion held in them that I felt like I mattered to _someone_. To Gerard. And that’s what mattered.  
  
“Oh.” We stayed silent for a while, just standing there and then sitting as soon as I offered him a seat. “How have you been?” He asked quietly.  
  
“I’ve just been okay, I guess. Kind of made a new friend from a trainee at work, been working out, and studying,” I said.  
  
“I’m glad you’ve made a new friend. Look, Frank, about what happened…” He sighed. “I still really want us to be together. I wouldn’t ever cheat on you, especially when you were away at basic training,” he said, giving me that same pleading look he did a week ago. I looked down at my hands in my lap and shrugged again.  
  
“I have no idea what to do, Gerard. I was so happy and when I saw that, it just reminded me of when Ray left me all that while ago. It brought up terrible feelings and thoughts and I didn’t want to deal with that just before leaving. My thoughts are really confused, but I do know that I love you.”  
  
“Then give us another chance, Frankie. You and I, we have something special and I don’t care if you think I sound pathetic right now, I’d only ever act this way with you. Because you’re the only one I love this much,” he said softly, looking into my eyes and never wavering. I gave him a small smile.  
  
“Gerard, let me get through basic first. Let me do that and I’ll come back for you, okay?” I offered. This was all I could give him right now. I leave for basic in a couple of weeks and graduate in a few days. School, honestly, just wasn’t important. All of my grades were above average and I was going to be graduating, but I wasn’t planning on walking the stage. I was planning on spending it with Gerard, and maybe I still can.  
  
His smile faltered. “Okay, Frank. We’ll do that.” I gave him all my respect for trying for me. He took my hand in his and held it tightly, causing my cheeks to flush. “So tell me about this friend of yours?” He offered, no doubt trying to talk to me as much as possible. I could read him like a neon sign.  
  
“He’s a really nice guy and he’s funny, too. Not only that, but he’s also a singer,” I said, thinking about the other man from work. “His name is Bert.” His smile faded and his eyes grew darker.  
  
“What’s his last name?” He asked, voice low. I raised my brow.  
  
“Mc-something or another. Why?” I asked curiously. He chewed on his lip for a while before finally answering my question.  
  
“That’s my ex,” he explained, a scowl present on his face. “He’s bad news, Frankie. I can’t stress that enough.”  
  
“How is he bad? He’s really nice and makes us all laugh during closing duties.” He sighed.  
  
“It’s been years since I’ve seen him, so maybe he’s changed- I don’t know. Just, if he ever comes around here, watch for his sticky fingers,” he warned. I nodded.  
  
“He’s not going to be coming around here, Gerard. We’re work friends, not best friends.” He nodded and we stayed silent for a while. “How are the last days of school going?” I asked after a while, wanting to fill the silence. He shrugged.  
  
“The kids are all on edge. All of them passed and, not to be rude, but I was kinda surprised by that,” he chuckled. “I feel bad about it, like I didn’t believe in them enough.”  
  
“I’m sure every teacher feels that way, Gee,” I said softly. “When’s graduation?” I asked.  
  
“Same night as yours, I believe. I’m one of the teacher having to be on the field and all that, so I’ll be there. Sorry I’m missing yours.” His voice is sad and full of regret and it hurts me, to say the least. I put my hand on his shoulder.  
  
“I’m not attending my graduation, so, if it’ll help you, I’ll go sit in the stands and wait for you,” I offered.  
  
“You’re not going? Frankie, you have to. It’s your graduation!” He stressed. I sighed, exhaling through my nose.  
  
“I’m sorry, but I don’t see the appeal of walking away alone when it’s done. I’d made the decision not to walk the stage when I transferred schools, and I’m sure you realized it as well.” After a while, he nodded and leaned his head against my shoulder.  
  
“Yeah,” he says, catching me off guard. I don’t understand what he means until he gives a better answer. “Come to the graduation and wait for me there,” he says softly in the silence of the apartment. There’s nothing but the sound of the central air humming when it turns on. I smiled and put my arm around him.  
  
“I really love you, Frankie,” he mumbled.  
  
“I really love you, too, Gerard,” I answered. He sighed softly.  
  
“We’re going to make it. I know we are,” He said. I nodded.  
  
“Yeah.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this is like three chapters from finishing this ;-;


	38. Graduation

I sat in the bleachers. I’d talked to Gerard for a few moments before he had to take his seat on the field. I was leaving in a few days and my nerves were beginning to act up. I was honestly afraid I wasn’t going to be good enough. I was afraid I would’ve worked _so_ hard and be told I wasn’t for the military. I shook my head of the negative thoughts. I needed to stay positive. I pulled away from my mind when the band started playing the school’s theme and watched as the graduates began to file onto the field. Immediately, I spotted Ray. With his hair, which I’d admit is still amazing, he was hard to miss. His cap was having a hard time staying on, causing me smirk with amusement. He always had that problem. I switched my focus to where Gerard was sitting and found him already looking at me. His gaze was so loving that I felt my face go hot. He hardly looked away and when they started calling people up, that’s when I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned and saw a girl I knew was in one of my classes, back when I attended this place.  
  
“Um, yes?” I asked, my tone obviously confused.  
  
“Um, I don’t know if you remember me, but my name is Lindsey. Ballato,” she said, her bright red lipstick standing out. I nodded.  
  
“Yeah, I remember you.” Then I thought for a moment. “Aren’t you supposed to be up there?” I said, nodding to the field. She gave me a sheepish smile before shrugging her shoulders.  
  
“Yeah, but walking the stage wasn’t for me.” I smiled at her a little.  
  
“Same goes for me,” I responded. She nodded, looking up at the field briefly before looking at me again.  
  
“Why are you here?” She asked curiously. It didn’t sound rude in the least. I can see why she was wondering. I looked over at Gerard again and smiled over at him. He seemed hesitant, but returned it nonetheless.  
  
“I’m here supporting someone I love.” She tilted her head a little.  
  
“So the rumors about you and Ray Toro are true?” She asked. This is a time where I can reveal things about me and Gerard. We’re no longer student and teacher and I’m of age. Not only that, but we started our relationship _after_ I’d switched schools. There was nothing wrong with our relationship. I loved him and he loved me. We just weren’t actually together right now.  
  
“We dated at one point, yeah, but he’s not who I’m talking about. That was the old me. The person I love now, he changed me,” I said truthfully. “Gerard can do that to you. He can change you into a better person without either of you realizing it.” I stopped for a moment, thinking about what I said. It was absolutely true. I can’t even recall when I was beginning to change, but I know it was because of him. I focused back on Lindsey and saw her eyes light up in recognition.  
  
“ _Mr. Way_?” She whispered. There was something about she said it. I couldn’t place it, but it seemed like she knew already. I squinted my eyes at her.  
  
“You knew.” Her face stayed still for a moment before breaking out in a small smile. She didn’t seem fazed by what’s considered a forbidden/looked-down-upon relationship and that made me trust her even more.  
  
“Yeah. It was hard to piece together since you two hardly spoke, but I saw you get into his car a couple of times and then when he singled you out for your essay, my mind just started working. I don’t mean any harm, by the way,” she said, explaining what she could with all those other people around. I shook my head at her.  
  
“No, I can tell. Thank you for keeping it to yourself all this time. We appreciate it,” I said, smiling bigger. I turned to look at Gerard and saw that he was now focused on the stage. When I looked over, I saw Ray crossing the stage and that made my heart sink for some reason. I thought that maybe he cared about the fact that I was there more than Ray was, but I pushed the negative thoughts away. It was probably just poor timing.  
  
“Don’t worry about it. I think you two make a lovely couple,” she stated. I felt my cheeks heat up and I quickly turned away from her, not wanting her to see, but her giggle told me that she saw it anyways. “Wow, Frank Iero is _blushing_? Never thought I’d see anything like it,” she teased, nudging me with her shoulder. I chuckled and looked back at her.  
  
“Just don’t tell anyone I have feelings, okay?” I said, causing her to laugh as I referenced the rumors about me being a robot. We stayed silent for a moment, both looking out into the field. “Hey, can I ask you a favor?” I asked. She looked over at me and nodded. I figured since she kept all of this a secret for a while, I could ask her to do something _very_ important to me.  
  
“What is it?” She asked, giving me a soft smile. Yeah, I think I’m right to trust her.  
  
“Could you maybe just hand Gerard something for me? It’s important,” he asked shyly. Lindsey, without hesitation, nodded eagerly.  
  
“Sure! If it’ll help your relationship,” she said. I handed her a folded up envelope that was blank in the front and sighed in relief as I let it go.  
  
“Don’t give it to him until June sixth. That’s when I leave for basic,” I say watching as she looks at it for a moment before putting it in her pocket. “I can’t trust anyone else with it,” I admitted, giving her a small smile. She nodded again.  
  
“How will I give it to him?” She asked him. I pulled out my phone and handed it to her.  
  
“Put in your number and I’ll text you his address,” I said. I watched as she typed in my phone and then when she handed it to me, she giggled. “What?” I asked, brow raised in confusion.  
  
“Well, I just didn’t take you for the sappy kind,” she said, an amused look on her face. I gestured for her to elaborate. “Your wallpaper is of the two of you.” My eyes widened and I covered my face, a blush spreading quickly.  
  
“O-oh. I forgot about that,” I murmured, a little embarrassed. She just laughed and patted my shoulder.  
  
“It’s alright. I think you two are very cute and all that. When I was cashing Mr. Way out from the store I work at, he looked so at ease and he said he was buying things for his boyfriend’s apartment. It was so lovely,” she said quietly. “So were you the reason he got so grouchy for, like, a couple of months?” She asked. I shrugged.  
  
“Maybe. He wears his heart of his sleeve, so it could’ve been. That’s whenever I spent my last night with him and we said our goodbyes. I didn’t think he and I were going to turn into anything else since he was already dating someone else,” I said, wincing as I remembered everything we went through. I’m just glad things are as good as they can be for now. Until I leave. After that, it’s entirely up to him. I just hope me trusting him doesn’t backfire.  
  
I love Gerard and would love to relocate to different places with him and start a family. I smirk when I think about telling our future kids how we met; I can just imagine their faces. Lindsey and I talk about different things until we’re interrupted by the band playing the class song and the graduates throwing their caps up. Automatically, I get up to my feet and turn to Lindsey.  
  
“I’ll text you his address tomorrow. I’m gonna go kiss him,” I say bluntly before running off. The only thing I hear her yell is to ‘go get the guy,’ which causes me to feel nostalgic, remembering when I told Gerard I was going to help him do just that. I ran to the field and looked around for the older man.  
  
Finally, after running around for a few moments, I spotted him and ran to him.  
  
“Gerard!” I yelled. His head snapped in my direction upon hearing his name and he smiled, holding his arms open for me. I crash into him, nearly knocking him down before pulling him down and kissing him fiercely. He kisses me back just as urgently. Legally speaking, we could’ve been doing this since I transferred schools, but he was still with Ray at that time. But now _everyone_ can see that he and I were seriously in love. When we pulled away, we looked at no one but each other and smiled.  
  
“I love you,” he said softly, stroking my face with his thumb. I blushed, biting my lip. I reached up and placed my hand on his cheek.  
  
“I love you, too,” I said back. There was no one but us here. He took my hand and we turned to walk out of the field, back to his place like we’d decided. A lot of eyes were on us, but not all of them. I didn’t care either way. We were doing nothing wrong. He walked us back to his car and opened the door for me. The drive home was spent holding hands and singing along to his Beatles CD and it was a nice night. It was cloudy, windy, and just a very cool night.  
  
“So what did you want to do tonight?” He asked he closed the door to his home and then looked at me. I smirked.  
  
“Honestly, I want to have sex with you,” I said bluntly. I guess he still wasn’t used to my candor, because his face went seriously red.  
  
“My, you’re so charming. Is that how you’re planning to woo me?” He teased. I smirked and nodded to his pants, which seemed to be struggling with holding his erection inside.  
  
“Seems to be working,” I said back, taking off my shirt. I pulled him along into the bedroom by his hand and then stared at his face for a moment. “Have I told you lately how beautiful I think you are?” I asked softly, genuinely curious, because he was. He was very beautiful, both inside and out. He cared for me and a lot of other people and really wanted everyone to succeed. But he was also hurting, too. He missed his parents and his brother a whole lot and that was something I could tell he struggled with. It was something he needed to talk about sometimes and I hoped I could be that person for him. I could tell he was still _extremely_ terrified about me going into the military, but he was still here and supporting me and helping me achieve that when he didn’t have to.  
  
He loved and did nothing wrong, other than falling in love with a couple of his students, which, was it actually wrong? Love is love. There’s nothing wrong with a huge age gap, no matter what people may say. I wouldn’t have even cared if he was a fifty-year old man, I fell in love with him for personality and his heart.  
  
“Frank, you’re too good to me,” he whimpered softly. I smiled, leaning up to kiss him softly as I took off his jacket and ran my hands down his chest. He pressed back into me, moaning softly into the kiss. We separated, stripping each other of our clothes and falling to the bed. “Stomach or back, baby?” He asked me, hovering above.  
  
“Back. I want to see you,” I answered. He smirked and nodded his head, leaning down to kiss me as he spread my legs. I willingly let him, kissing him back furiously. He trailed his hands along my body down to my hardened member and stroked me a few times, causing me to let out a few whines. He pulled away for a moment to gather a small bottle of lubrication and a condom, something that had become the norm despite our unprotected first time. I didn’t mind it, he lasted longer and the amount of time we spent making love is prolonged. I could care less about the pleasure I was feeling, I just liked seeing his face and hearing him enjoying it all. Enjoying _me_. I just didn’t mind it feeling really good, that was a perk.  
  
After finally prepping me enough, he rolled on the condom and lined up, one hand on my hip and the other holding himself to my entrance. I stared up at him with a lust-filled gaze, panting and anticipating him being inside of me. Slowly, he pushed into me, causing me to squirm and let out a throaty moan. He gritted his teeth and closed his eyes tightly, seemingly trying to be patient with me. I pulled him down closer to me and kissed him, sliding my tongue into his mouth, pushing my hips back into him. He let out a small puff of air into the kiss, causing me to smile. I wrapped my legs around his waist and braced myself for his movement. He looked down at me for a moment.  
  
“You know, you say I’m beautiful, but, really, _you’re_ the beautiful one. Everything about you is so unbelievable. For your young age, you’re so wise and understand, caring and compassionate, and, God, I just love you _so_ fucking much, Frankie,” he said lovingly before his movements began. He snapped his hips into me at a steady pace, the feeling building up and making my legs go numb. Moans slipped from my mouth as my hands gripped the sheets. My love for him was going into overdrive and I wasn’t sure if _I_ was going to last much longer. The feeling of him pushing inside of me and hitting into my body was a feeling I’d never get tired of. His thrusts became harder and fast; more erratic as louder moans came from both of us.  
  
I wanted to make this night something we’d never forget. I leave in a couple of days and I just wanted him to be happy. I wanted him to remember us as a loving couple. As two people who fought to be where we were and make it in our own way. After tonight, I didn’t know when I was going to see him again. I just wanted to make this a happy experience. For both of us. But the thought of leaving him made tears come to my eyes as Gerard’s hips stuttered and he let out a loud groan, finishing and spilling into the condom. A few seconds later, my own body had reacted and I was coming all over our stomachs. He pulled out a few moments later, and then took the rubber off and tossed it into his trashcan by the bed.  
  
“You’re amazing,” he whispered into my ear after he’d pulled me closer to him and held me. I snuggled into his embrace and smiled softly.  
  
“You’re amazing,” I repeated back to him. It was true. He really was. He’d always be the man I’d love, even if we didn’t end up together somehow. I was content with spending the rest of my life alone if our relationship didn’t work out. “I love you,” I said aloud without thinking about it.  
  
“I love you, too, Frankie. Congratulations on graduating,” he mumbled sleepily into my ear. Thankfully, I don’t think he remembered what day I was leaving. Just as he began to snore softly next to me, I closed my eyes and let myself enjoy the last time, for a while, in which I’d be in his arms. This was it.


	39. The Letter

_I sat up on the bed, looking over at Gerard’s sleeping figure for a moment before standing and gathering my clothes to get dressed. I grabbed a piece of paper and pen from his bedside that he used to write on before bedtime and scribbled down a small message:_  
  
 _I love you -Frank_  
  
 _I slipped my shoes on and took one last look at him before heading out the door, locking it behind me so I wouldn’t be tempted to go back in and also for his safety. As the door closed shut behind me, my eyes watered, knowing that was my last time seeing him. I walked back to my own home to start packing the things I could take with me._  
  
I waited for the bus to pick me up. It was an hour away from my departure and a part of me hoped Gerard would show up to give me one last breathtaking kiss, but he didn’t even know where I was. I’d messaged Lindsey his address earlier to give it to him, but I didn’t know when she was going to do it. She mentioned wanting to see me off but I hadn’t answered that yet. I wasn’t sure I wanted anyone to see me so defeated and yet so free at the same time other than Gerard.  
  
“Frank!” I heard someone call out. My heart sped up, hoping it was who I wished so badly for it to be, but I knew it wasn’t. I turned to see Lindsey running down the platform. I waved, still sitting in my spot. Once she reached me, she sat down next to me out of breath.  
  
“What are you doing here?” I asked. I don’t know if that sounded rude, I was just curious. She nudged me with her shoulder.  
  
“Well, I didn’t want you getting on that bus and having no one to turn back and wave to, so I thought I’d show up.” I smiled at her, honestly grateful for that. I don’t know what I would’ve done if I looked back and saw no one there.  
  
“Thank you,” he responded. They sat there in silence before she spoke.  
  
“I haven’t given it to him yet. I was going to wait until after you left,” she explained. I nodded.  
  
“I understand. That’s probably for the best,” I answered. Gerard would probably run to the only bus station and try to see me off. Thing is, if he did that, I would no longer want to leave. An hour passed by quicker than I thought it would and the bus was arriving. She and I both stood as it came to a stop and its doors opened. “Looks like this is it,” I said softly, looking over at her. She nodded.  
  
“Yeah, looks like it is,” she said. We stared at each other for a moment before I dropped my bag and pulled her into a hug.  
  
“Thank you, Lindsey, _so_ much. I’ll never forget what you’ve done for us. Take care of yourself,” I mumbled into her shoulder, tears coming to his eyes as I thought about Gerard. I would miss his face, his laughter, his eyes, his smile, the way he talked from one side of his mouth more than the other. I would miss listening to the Beatles with him, and watching him fangirl over the Wizard of Oz. I’d miss how closely he held me when I was in his arms, and the way he kissed me when he felt like I needed to be closer. I’d miss his body so close to me when we made love. I’d miss everything about Gerard Way.  
  
“Be safe out there, Frank,” she said, hugging me back tightly. We pulled away and I picked up my bag, walking up to the bus and getting on. I take a seat in the very back, one of the only available seats and look back out the window. I see Lindsey looking at me with a proud kind of smile and waving at me. I wave back and as the bus drives away, I continue to look at her before I see a figure running across the platform. My eyes widen and I quickly turn back around, tightly closing my eyes before staring straight forward, and looking towards my future.  
  
 _Gerard_.  
  
*  
  
 _I awoke that morning to an empty bed. The sheets were cold just as my body felt. My home was empty, just as my heart was. I spotted a note on my bedside table and cried as I read it. I took off my bed sheets and washed them so I didn’t have to smell him when I went to bed. I took a shower to scrub my body of his scent, but I wouldn’t forget his smell. I thought about going to look for him, but I’m sure he just needed a few days to gather himself and what he wanted._  
  
 _I spent the whole day watching different movies and thinking about Frank. I thought about how wonderful he looked last night and how good he was to me. I thought about how we came together and how I despised his attitude towards me, but it soon became endearing. I thought about getting to know the other side of Frank that he didn’t let anyone see. I thought about how tough it must have been to let me in. I thought about how hurt he must have been when he had to let me go._  
  
I drove to Frank’s apartment, having enough of the silent treatment from him. I wanted to spend as much time with him as possible before he left, so I was determined to get that time, damn it. I parked in the shitty parking lot and got out the car, walking up to his apartment number and knocking on the door. I waited. No answer. So I knocked again and waited. No answer. I sighed. I didn’t want to play this game anymore.  
  
“Frank! Open the door!” I yelled, knocking again. Nothing. I groaned, frustrated with the guy. I couldn’t believe he was doing this to me. I wanted to be with him and we’d been through so much together that it couldn’t just end like this. I couldn’t let that happen.  
  
“Oh, sweetie, he already left,” I heard a voice call from below me. I leaned over the edge to see Evelyn.  
  
“Hi, Evelyn. What do you mean he already left?” I asked, raising a brow.  
  
“To the Army. He left about an hour ago,” she explained. My eyes widened and my heart sped up as I rushed down the stairs.  
  
“How- when- _where_ was he going to get picked up?” I asked frantically. I needed to catch him and see him off. I needed to hold him and kiss him one last time until God knows when. Evelyn gave me a type of knowing smile, catching me off guard.  
  
“The bus station, honey,” she answered. “Good luck, dear.” And then she turned to go back inside her home.  
  
“Thank you,” I said quickly before running back to my car and getting it, speeding to the bus station in the next town over. It was the closest, so that must have been the one he was getting picked up at. I couldn’t let him go without anyone there for him to say goodbye to. He was the love of my life and I could just let him do that to myself. Why didn’t I ever ask him when he was leaving? I hit my steering wheel as I caught a red light and reluctantly slowed to a stop.  
  
The light seemed to take fucking forever to turn green and when it finally did, I stepped on the gas and made my way into the next town. The bus station was on the other side and I groaned because it seemed as though the world was against me getting there.  
  
Finally, it came into sight and I pulled into a parking space crooked like an asshole, but I couldn’t care less. This was Frank I was running to. I jumped out of my car and ran up to the platform since these things weren’t well secured in these small towns. I saw one other person there waving at a bus that was driving away. As I got closer to the person, I recognized it to be Lindsey.  
  
“L-Lindsey?” I said, cautiously. “What are you doing here?” I asked. She turned at my voice and gave me an apologetic smile.  
  
“I… I was seeing Frank off. His bus just left,” she explained. My eyes darted to the bus in the distance and before I could attempt to chase it down, she shoved an envelope in my hands. “This is from him. He gave it to me on graduation day and asked me to give it to you today.” I grabbed the envelope and quickly opened it. I pulled out the letter and slowly opened it. My eyes scanned the words and worked the sentence through my mind before tears sprang to my eyes and I let them fall.  
  
“Frankie…” My voice cracked. Lindsey gave me a sad smile and patted me on the shoulder before walking away, sure enough knowing that there was nothing she could do for us.  
  
I would miss his face, his laughter, his eyes, his smile, the way his eyes lit up when he talked about going into the Army. I would miss listening to the Beatles with him, and laughing about me fangirling over the Wizard of Oz. I’d miss how closely he held me when I was in his arms, and the way he kissed me when he felt like I needed to be closer. I’d miss his body so close to me when we made love. I’d miss everything about Frank Iero.  
  
I looked in the direction the bus had gone in and closed my eyes tightly, trying to move time back childishly, but knowing it was impossible. Frank was gone and I’d missed him. Maybe we’d meet again. I could only hope so. I was already content with being alone for the rest of my life if graduation was the last night I’d be seeing him.  
  
So I’d wait.


	40. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter. Definitely going to rewrite this entire thing one day, but thanks for reading! Meant so much to me, since it was my very first MCR fanfiction! <3

“All right, class, the last bell of the year will ring in about ten minutes and I want to take a little bit of that time to tell you how proud of you I am. To some of you, I’ve taught English for a couple of years and, to others, just this year, but I will forever be proud of the graduating Class of 2005. Go on, do great things. Do the things people told you, you couldn’t do. Do the things you told _yourself_ you couldn’t do, because you can do it all. The “real world” is tough, but it’s okay to be scared and it’s okay to be lost, but what’s _not_ okay is to let that stop you,” I told my last class of the year. They had become really silent, and some even had teary eyes. It was a heavy thing; graduating.  
  
“The world moves fast, guys, so run faster. And _never_ stop running.” With those words, some people wiped their eyes and others gave me a triumphant smile. If one of my teachers had said something like this to me whenever I was that scared little graduate, then I probably would’ve felt a lot better about walking across the stage.  
  
“There’s five minutes left, but I want you all to gather your things and go ahead on out that door. I love you all. Class dismissed.” And with that, they nodded and grabbed their things, quickly heading got the door. I heard a lot of thank you’s and got a few hugs on their way out before my classroom was once again empty. I sighed, taking a seat at my desk and looking around at my packed up classroom. All that was left was to clear out my desk. My contract with the school expires this year, much to my relief. Starting six months after Frankie’s emotional departure from the bus station, I started working on my old comic book _The Umbrella Academy_ and was, until last year, an independent publishing. Now, it was to be published by a fairly enormous company with an amazing following. I was finally happy and doing something that I loved. As I cleared out my desk, I came across the note that Frank had given to Lindsey to give to me almost two years ago, and re-read the messy yet elegant handwriting displaying the words that I’ve held close to my heart for so long. I’d tried dating Ray once again to somehow get back at Frank for leaving me his graduation night without another word, back when I was in a bad place, but it dwindled last year to due to old feelings for Jealousy coming back. He called me to meet him one night and cried when he told me. He said it was unfair to me if he and I were dating and didn’t have all romantic feelings of his toward me. I nodded, accepting his reasoning. He and I remained friends so it wasn’t a bitter break up. Jealousy is very weary of me, but that’s pretty much her problem because my heart has been set on Frank, even without me realizing it, for what feels like an eternity.  
  
I sigh once more, putting the note in my briefcase before picking up my last box and walking outside my old classroom and shutting the lights off. I smiled to myself and headed outside to the parking lot. The bell had long ago rung and there was only the clacking of my shoes in the empty hallway. As I reached the door, the sky had turned cloudy from a sunny afternoon, but it didn’t bother me in the least; I preferred this type of weather. It reminded me about the first time Frank truly let me in during that thunderstorm that seemed like a lifetime ago. Making my way across the parking lot to my car, I rumbled for my keys, not really paying attention to where I was walking until I noticed a pair of very clean, black dress shoes come into my line of my vision. I quickly looked up.  
  
“Fr-Frank…” I breathed out. He looked up at me with a smile. A true smile of happiness. He’d grown a few inches, it looked, but I still towered over him. I reached out to put my hand on his cheek, hoping it wasn’t my imagination. He leaned into my touch, his smile growing wider. He was really here. Without wasting another moment, I dropped the box I was holding and slammed my body into his, holding him as tightly as I could without breaking him. He didn’t seem to mind as he hugged me back just as tight, ignoring the rule: No PDA in an Army Class Uniform.  
  
“I love you so much, Gerard,” he mumbled against my shoulder. I pulled away slightly to look at him.  
  
“I love you so much, Frank,” I replied. I pressed my lips firmly against his, giving him no time to make a smartass comment I knew he was going to make. Finally. _Finally_. There was nothing stopping us. Not even me. My thoughts went back to the letter he’d left me almost two years ago:  
  
 _“I’ll come back for you.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Much love,  
> -CL

**Author's Note:**

> This story is already posted up at mychemicalromancefanfiction, and is quite far into the story. I always update there before updating here.
> 
> Thanks for reading, if this is your first time, and I hope you stick around!
> 
> Much love!


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